Two periods missed. She couldn't be going to have Bryan's baby. It was not possible. She was afraid to go to her doctor. She did not know what he would say
Because if it was not what she suspected, which she couldn't even voice aloud to herself even in the privacy of her room so that it would not become reality, then what was wrong with her?
Her doctor, was stuffy middle aged man who didn't look like he would be sympathetic was not the type of person she could go to and tell that she thought that she might be pregnant.
So, she went to the chemist and bought a do - it - yourself pregnancy test. The procedure was complicated but she knew that she wouldn't rest until she found out. She could not wait till the next day but did it that evening.
The result was positive. She stood looking at it with white face and shadowy eyes. She was carrying, Bryan's baby. Her stomach twisted in protest and dismay.
Oh, how had she been so wreckless and stupid? This was a complication' and consequence she had not been expecting. She had kept telling herself that as much as she regretted losing her head that way that night in Rome, at least, she didn't have to bother about being pregnant. How could she have expected to be one in a million that the precaution did not work on?'
In the first shock of realization, she did not know what to do. Her first thought was to have an abortion the sooner , the better. But she was afraid and undecided.
She couldn't make up her mind about something so terrifying and drastic in such a hurry. She needed time to think.
Should she have the child but let it be adopted? Oh but the very thought of going through a pregnancy while working in the bank,and everyone knowing what was happening to her body made her feel sick especially since it meant that Bryan would know as well.
She had no intention of telling him until she couldn't avoid it. This was her body, the decision had to be hers. He had no rights on the baby at all, she told herself bitterly. Not after the way he had behaved.
Sharon wondered if she was jinxed and could not be happy in any relationship.
Her first relationship had been a flop
Though they had gone their separate ways through mutual consent, the second had been a very bitter experience. She had been with him for some years and had thought that they were both in love. At least that the feelings she had for him was reciprocated. She had not even read the signs because she had been blinded by her love for him that when it happened, she had felt numb. She could not believe that it was happening to her.
'Sharon, I have tried to keep this relationship going for sometime now but it seems not to be working', he had said.
Sharon had not understood what he meant.
'Kept the relationship going? Not working? What do you mean?'
'I mean that I have found someone I know you be my soul mate. With her, I feel happy and complete'. Sharon felt as though a punch had been delivered to her stomach.
'You didn't feel happy with me nor complete?'
'Sharon don't be like this. I could have left without saying anything to you and you would have found out yourself through someone else but I value you and that is why I'd rather you heard it from me'.
'You still have not answered my question. Didn't you feel happy nor complete with me?'
'It is not the same thing. I thought I had it all with you though I kept feeling that something was missing. But with Melissa, I do not feel any emptiness of any sort in any part of my life'.
'But if you really felt that way, what have we been doing all this while? You had delibrately been using me to while away the time while you waited for her to accept you? I was just a stop by before you got to your destination isn't it?'
'It is not that way'.
'Ehat way is it then?'
'I had hoped to spare you but you seem to want to hear it all. Alright here goes. I have not really loved you. I thought that I could build on what we had but it was not working like I said earlier but with Melissa, it was love at first sight and the attraction had been instant. We share a chemistry that is beyond anything I can describe. It is better felt than imagined. Being someone with an active conscience, I knew that I couldn't go on deceiving you or allow you find this out yourself', he said looking at her apologetically.
'Who is she, this Melissa?'
She is the daughter of the senator. We have been out a few times and I realized that I wanted permanence with her. We have actually started planning our wedding. The father will take care of everything'.
'Are you talking about that Melissa? Melissa Thrumball?', she asked, realization dawning on her.
'The very same', he did happy that he had got it off his chest.
'I can't believe that you ate marrying her because her parents are rich and mine are just poor farmers. We could work out our future together. We have a bright future ahead of is and we can make our own way rather than depend on others or on their money'.
'It is not the money. Okay, the money is an added incentive but I loved her first before realizing who she was', he had said defensively but Sharon had known that it was mainly because of the money and the fame and connection, such a relationship would get him that had made him break up with her for Melissa.
She had given her heart to that relationship. She had waited for years to be made his wife but he never got around to it but the girl he saw in just a couple of weeks and they were already going through wedding plans.
She had not been a le to go into any other relationship after that. It had hurt her deeply. She could not bring herself to trust any man enough to give her heart and now she who thought she despised Bryan when he came along had been foolish and reckless enough to sell her pride and allow him to have her and now she had to bear the consequences alone. It was just not fair. Why must the woman always pay? What about the man? she wailed inwardly.
She was still wondering if she was jinxed and how her parents, her puritan parents would react to the news of her pregnancy when she fell into a troubled sleep.