05 | love in the dark

Chapter Five. Love in the dark.

“What’s that sound?”

Pati si Vhallerine ay napatingin sa driver nang marinig niya ang tanong na ‘yon.

“Anong nangyari?” The police officer on her left side asked.

“Teka, ayaw umandar.”

Tumingin siya sa bintana. Walang gaanong tao rito. Wala ring mga building o bahay. Puro puno lang. Nasaan sila? Tabing gubat?

“Paki-tingnan mo nga, Cruz,” utos nung nasa kaliwa ko sa isa ko pang katabi.

Lumabas iyong Cruz para i-check iyong sasakyan.

“Kaya naman pala, flat ang gulong! Bakit hindi niyo sinigurado? Tsk.”

Bago pa man makagawa ng reaksyon ang mga tao sa loob, nakarinig sila ng malakas na putok ng baril mula sa kung saan. Vhallerine’s eyes widened, the first thing she thought is Galen. Is he serious about helping her escape? But they both agreed not to do it, right?

Nakita niya ang isang lalaki na nakaitim. Armado ito at nakatakip ang mukha.

“Labas,” utos sa kanya ng lalaki.

Hindi iyan si Galen!

“Labas!” Ulit nito nang mapansin na hindi siya gumalaw.

Tinutukan ni Cruz ng baril ang lalaki. May kumatok naman sa kaliwa nila. May isa na namang lalaki na nakatutok ang dalawang baril sa driver at sa lalaking nasa kaliwa ni Vhal.

“Estrella, bumaba ka!” Utos nung lalaki na naunang nagpakita kanina. “Pababain niyo!” Idiniin nito ang baril sa ulo ni Cruz.

“B-Bumaba ka na.”

Umiling si Vhal. “Bakit? Sino kayo?”

“Bumaba ka na lang, tangina!” The guy is starting to lose control.

Bumaba si Vhallerine dahil sa takot. Hinila agad siya ng lalaki at ipinasok sa kotse.

Itatakas nga siya ni Galen! Pero ayaw niyang mangyari iyon! May kasalanan siya at handa siyang pagbayaran iyon.

“A-Ayoko rito,” usal ni Vhal.

“Itatakas ka namin, magpasalamat ka na lang.”

“Inutusan ba kayo ni… ni Galen?”

“Yup,” iyong driver ang nagsalita.

Fuck! Atty. Galen Willer Zaldien, who’s known for saving victims by winning each case he handles, is now helping a theft and murderer to escape just because he loves her? He must be crazy. He’s out of control. How could he do this?

Bumuntong hininga si Vhallerine. Nag init ang mga mata niya, nagbabadya ang kanyang luha dahil sa inis at saya. Naghahalo ang emosyon niya. Hindi malaman kung ano ang pinaka nangingibabaw.

“Pakawalan niyo ‘ko,” matigas na utos ni Tamara.

“Itatakas ka nga namin. Niligtas ka namin dahil bibitayin ka sa kasalanang hindi mo ginawa---”

The guy let his guard down. Vhallerine picked up the gun and aimed it to him.

“Fucking let me go.” Utos niya ulit.

Napataas ang dalawang kamay ng lalaki. Nakatutok din ang dalawang baril sa ulo ni Tamara pero hindi niya ‘yon alintana.

“Ibaba niyo ‘yang baril niyo,” utos nung lalaki sa mga kasama. “Let her go.” Tinanggal nito ang nakatakip sa kanyang mukha.

Then there, she saw her classmate on 4th grade, Harrison.

Nanlaki ang mga mata niya. “Harrison!”

“You still remember me. Ayaw mo talaga ng tulong namin? Alam naming hindi mo kayang gawin iyon---”

“Please.. let me go…” Tumulo ang luha ni Vhal. Galen know damn well how to melt her heart.

Malungkot na tumango si Harrison at unti-unting binuksan ang pintuan ng kotse. “Sigurado ka na ba sa gagawin mo, Vhal?”

Tumingin lang siya kay Harrison.

Isa-isang nagtanggal ng mga takip sa mukha ang mga lalaki. Si Andrew na nakalaro nila noon ni Galen ang nagd-drive at iyong isa pang lalaki ay ang isa sa kasama nilang mag-cutting class noon, si Marlon.

“Sigurado ka na talaga? Hindi kami nanghingi ng bayad kay Galen para rito. Gusto ka lang talaga naming iligtas. Sinakripisyo ni Galen ang image niya para sa ‘yo. Para maligtas ka. Anong ginagawa mo? Bakit mo ‘to ginagawa? Dahil sa konsensya?”

“Oo!” Vhal sobbed. “Oo! Dahil sa konsensya! Hindi ko kayang mabuhay na pag natutulog ako, ang napanaginipan ko lang ay ang pagpatay ng ina ko kay daddy! Ang pananakit nila sa akin, ang mga pamilyang sinira nila, hindi ko kaya! Nakakapagod!”

Natahimik ang mga lalaki.

“Bata pa lang ako, sa akin napupunta lahat ng sakit! Palagi akong nagpapatawad, umiintindi, umaasa… Na magbabago lahat isang araw! Pero mas lalo lang lumala ang lahat! Hinayaan ko ang ginagawa ni mommy, inintindi ko siya kaya nakapatay siya ng ibang tao, wala akong ginawa! Napatay niya si daddy sa harapan ko! Pinatay ko si mommy!” Napatakip siya ng mukha gamit ang kamay niyang may posas pa at mabilis na lumabas at tumakbo.

Mabuti na lang at nakasunod din doon ang police car. Lumabas agad ang mga police officer doon at agad siyang hinuli at ipinasok ulit sa sasakyan.

She couldn’t stop crying. She’s so done with this cruel world. If in her another life… She would live in a better environment, and find love… Find Galen in their another life, she wouldn’t choose to have a kid. Life is so hard to be alive in this cruel world with cruel people.

She knew it was the end. She has no choice but to face what she has ahead of this life. All of her plans, all of the hope, it all fell done.

Galen won the case for her. He granted her wish. The only wish that got granted. Si Galen lang ang gumawa noon. Siya lang ang nagparamdam sa kanya na mahalaga siya, ang opinyon niya, at hindi siya maiiwan dahil nandito ang lalaking iyon palagi. Naghihintay sa kanya. Kahit pa hindi na siya ang babaeng minahal nito noon. Ang babaeng matino kahit sinaksaktan. Dahil ngayon, she’s a murderer and a theft.

She doesn’t deserve to feel anything. She wished that she was born heartless. She wish she was born selfish. That doesn’t care about other people’s opinions or just follow her parents just because they’re the reason why she’s born.

She regretted everything. Even her life. Her existence. The only thing she’s grateful for is that she met Galen on this lifetime. He gave her light even when they’re not in the end of the tunnel yet, and now she’s near to the so called light of the tunnel, she found out it was still dark. She blew the torch Galen was holding for her. So he wouldn’t have to see her again and suffer longer.

Tulala lang siya sa kulungan niya. Pito na lang ang natitira niyang araw. Malapit na siyang lumisan sa mundo. Sa wakas.

“Kuya, may ballpen at papel ho ba kayo? May gusto lang po sana akong isulat.” Tanong niya sa nagbabantay.

She decided to write something for Galen. To at least tell him her thoughts, that she never wanted to push him away. It’s just, it’s necessary. So he wouldn’t get involved. He worked hard for this, how could she ruin it?

Saktong katatapos niya lang nang marinig niya ang yapak papuntang kulungan niya. Itinago niya agad ang letter sa likuran niya.

She saw Galen there, standing in front and looking at her. At first, she thought it was just normal to see Galen all dressed up and neat because he has to. He’s a lawyer. But something’s up, she just can’t tell what is it.

“Pwede ba tayong mag-usap?” Kalmado ang tanong ni Galen. His eyes were bloodshot. Halatang galing lang sa pag-iyak.

Tumango si Vhallerine at ngumiti. “Salamat pala… Sa pagpapanalo.”

Galen just looked at her and nodded. “It’s because you wanted it.”

She nodded, too.

“Anong gusto mong pag-usapan?” She asked him.

“Natupad na ang pangarap natin na maging abogado ako. Hindi na tayo sapat sa oras para maging doctor ka. Pero may isa pa tayong pangarap, hindi ba?”

Vhallerine looked at him with so much confusion. Hindi siya sigurado kung ang nasa isip niya ay kapareha ng pinapahiwatig ni Zaldien.

“Ano ‘yon?” She asked.

“Magpapakasal tayo.” Diretsong sabi ng binata sa kanya.

Vhallerine’s lip parted. “Eh hindi rin matutupad---”

“Pwede? Pakasalan mo ‘ko?” Galen almost pleaded. “Hindi mo tinanggap, hindi ka tumakas eh. Ito na lang. Pwede?” Pahina nang pahina ang boses niya hanggang sa mabasag na ito. Hindi bumabagsak ang luha niya pero naipon iyon sa kanyang mga mata.

Kaya pala nagtaka si Vhallerine nang makita niya itong naka-cream suit.

Natahimik si Vhal. Hindi alam ang gagawin.

“V-Vhal… Magpakasal tayo.”

Umiling si Vhallerine at yumako. Her tears fell. Walang araw na hindi siya umiiyak. Lalo na kapag iniisip niya si Galen.

“Ayoko…”

“Vhal… Mahal na mahal kita. Ikaw lang ang naisip kong pakasalan. Walang iba.” He said. “Lahat ng katrabaho ko, dating mga kaklase, mga kakilala at kahit mga kalaro natin… Kasal na sila. Ikaw… Ikaw na lang ang hinihintay ko, eh. Para makapagpakasal na rin ako.”

“Galen…” Nag-angat ng tingin si Vhallerine. Nakaupo pa rin siya sa gilid. Unti-unti siyang lumapit kay Galen. “Bakit ako? Bakit sa kriminal ka pa nagkagusto?” Tumulo ulit ang luha niya.

“Kahit naman maging kriminal ka… Anong magagawa ko?” He whispered. “Eh ikaw lang laman nito, eh…” He pointed his chest.

Tumango si Vhallerine. “Okay. I’ll marry you. But promise me one thing.”

“What is it?”

“Mabubuhay ka nang masaya. Magkakaroon ng bagong asawa, magkakaanak at mabubuhay kayo ng masaya. Hindi mo sasaktan ang asawa’t anak mo, emotionally man o physically. Naiintindihan mo?”

“Vhal, ayoko---” Galen stopped when he noticed she was serious. She can’t convince her to marry him otherwise. “S-Sige.”

“Promise?” Pinakita ni Vhal ang kanyang pinky finger at inilusot sa harang para makaabot kay Galen.

Galen was shaking. He still managed to use his pinky finger to promise. He smiled and his tears fell. “Promise, Vhal.”

Tumango si Vhal at ngumiti. “Let’s get married.”

Inilabas ni Galen mula sa kanyang bulsa ang isang maliit na box. He was keeping that ring for years. Pagkaalis niya para iwan si Vhallerine doon ay nagsimula na niyang pag-ipunan ang singsing na iyon. Isa iyon sa pinakamahal na singsing sa bansa. Mas mahal pa ‘ata iyon kesa sa dalawang bahay at kotse na nabili niya para sa kanyang mga magulang. He saved it for her. Kept it for years.

“We were only kids when I realized that I liked you, Vhallerine. I… I didn’t know what even like means. I couldn’t confess to you, I was scared. And our parents were against our relationship. You’re only 16 and I was 18. It was a small age gap, but still, you’re so much younger. I left you too soon, I couldn’t find you for years. My journey isn’t exhausting as I waited for you for those years because it was worth it. I saw you again… not in the way I wanted to. A strange way that I never had thought of. I want to get married to you. Only you. My heart is empty when I can’t see you, or hear your voice. I missed you so much and I still do, even you’re here in front of me.”

He then looked at her with so much adoration and respect.

“Today, I dedicate my life to you. I give you my heart to wholeheartedly adore and fiercely guard. I extend my hand to you, holding please hold it tightly before you go… I give you all of me, every sides: even my imperfections. Because today it’s no longer I, no longer you…it’s just us. On our dark days, our remaining days together, I will stay with you. And I will wait for you, even after this lifetime.”

Vhallerine tearfully smiled.

“In the name of God, I, Vhallerine Tamara Estrella, take you, Galen Willer Zaldien, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward… for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until parted by death.”

“I, Galen Willer Zaldien, take you, Vhallerine Tamara Estrella, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward… For your dark nights, alone times, I will stand with you and give you my heartful prayers so I could be with you in your heart, not just physically. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. To love and to cherish, even after death parts us.”

He slowly put the ring on her fing”r. He couldn’t kiss her.

He kissed his two fingers and planted it in his forehead, then her nose.

And that day, Vhallerine Tamara is no longer carrying her horrible surname with so much of hurtful memories, she is no longer an Estrella. She is Galen Willer Zaldien’s wife.

In her remaining days, she will live as Vhallerine Tamara Zaldien.