But I can't claim them. And I sure as hell don't want to scare Denali off. She's protective of the boy-and rightly so.
"He's smart," I say to Denali.
"Yeah," she agrees.
"How…" My question trails off. I have no idea where to begin, what to ask.
She squats down. "I knew I'd conceived a few days after we... you know. Soon after I saw my chance to escape and took it. I've been on the run ever since."
I swallow. When Data-X took her from her home in New Orleans, they killed her pride-her grandfather and three others. She's had no one since she escaped. She had this cub... alone.
Of all the unforgivable things I've done, leaving her pregnant and alone tops the list. It doesn't matter that I was a prisoner. I was supposed to protect. The guilt eats my lion alive.
"When I heard the lab burned down, I thought it was safe. I couldn't run forever. Nolan needed stability."
So she put down roots that allowed Sam to find her. "You were still hiding from me."
"Not exactly." She stops and blows out her breath. "I think I hoped you'd survive. That one day you'd meet him."
"And then what?" I stare at her, wondering what she'll say. If there's a place for me in her and her son's life. If there is, would I want it? Am I even fit to consider it?
She hesitates, glancing back at the curly-headed boy. "My priority is Nolan. I'd do anything to keep him happy and safe."
And there it is. The reason I should never have sought Denali out or come here. My life, my animal is the opposite of safe.
My phone buzzes, breaking the silence. I rise. "I've got to take this."
"Nash, it's Parker."
"Yeah?" I don't have a fight scheduled for a few days, so I don't know what he wants.
"We're in Tucson. Something happened."
"What?" I don't know why the fuck he's reporting to me like I'm his alpha. Unless they need my help, in which case they're calling the wrong guy.
"The fight got busted. They took one of the fighters into custody."
I don't have time for this drama. I'm in a park watching a child who carries my genes. "Why are you telling me this?" I snap.
"There was a government agent behind it. He was shifter-or at least part shifter. And Nash-he asked about the labs."
"Fuck." The ground beneath me tilts.
"I just thought you should know. If Sam was able to find your mate, this guy might be able to, too."
No.
I can't have my mate exposed. My mate and her child.
Unacceptable.
I hang up without saying goodbye and stalk back, grinding my teeth.
Denali tenses, like she knows I'm trouble. I blink back my lion. "You need to move," I say immediately.
She jerks around, looking over both shoulders.
"There's a government agent hunting down shifters. If I found you, so can they."
Her eyes flash blue-grey, her lioness showing. "Where?"
"He picked up a shifter in Tucson. Asked him about the lab."
"Okaaaay. Doesn't sound like they're on my trail."
"No, but you can't risk it. You need to get out of here. You can stay with me." Even as I say it, I'm cursing the state of the hovel I've been living in. It's definitely not worthy of Denali and her son.
"I don't know, Nash. I just got settled. I've built up a little business. Nolan loves his preschool."
A rush of shame runs through me. My mate has been working her ass off as a single mother. I should be providing for them.
I shove my hands in my pockets. "Okay. Then I'm staying here. You require protection."
Her eyes narrow. "I don't know…"
I don't give a shit if she wants my protection or not, she's getting it. But I understand she doesn't want me around her cub. She's not ready for that. I hold up my hand. "I'll keep out of your way. I promise." Maybe I can find a place to move into close by. Or I'll get a fucking tent and pitch it on the hill behind her property. It's not like I haven't lived in a tent before. I had five tours in Iraq and Afghanistan.
She gives a non-committal nod, gaze sliding back to the little boy in the sandbox. The boy is casting us similar glances.
"You want to meet him?"
My heart thuds. No. Yes. Fuck, I don't know. I hate that I don't already know my kid. And I also think Denali is smart not to throw the door wide and let me in. I have nothing to offer my cub. Nothing but heartache and pain.
A frown appears between Denali's brows.
"Yeah." I clear my throat. "Definitely."
"Okay. Come on." She heads toward the sandbox. I follow a foot behind, checking the park again for anyone suspicious. It's empty.
The boy stops what he's doing, but doesn't get up, just peers up at me, his light brown curls falling across his eyes.
"Nolan, this is, um, a friend of mine. His name is Mr. Nash."
"Just Nash," I correct. I squat down. "Hey, Nolan."
Nolan's nostrils flare, probably because he's caught scent of my lion.
"Yeah, I'm like you and your mom," I confirm. Then I realize mom sounds wrong. Too old for a kid his age. What does he call her? Momma? Mommy? These are things I should know.
He drops his attention back to his sandcastle, tamping the wet sand down.
I've never felt so at a loss. "What are you making?"
The boy doesn't look up. "It's a robocar. A car that drives itself. Momma wants one so she doesn't have to deal with traffic."
Momma. Now I know.
I can't stop the smile as Denali ducks her head and shrugs. It's such a tiny, but sweet glimpse into their lives. I picture Denali driving Nolan through town, telling him all the things she wishes for.