Chapter 34

Roxanne

The past few days were the worst of my life yet. At first, I was immensely angry at Derek when the video came out. It didn't matter to me whether he had anything to do with the leak or not. If he hadn't recorded us having sex in the first place, there wouldn't be a leak.

Also, I couldn't think of an origin for the leak that didn't involve Derek. Surely, I thought, he must have something to do with the leak. Maybe that was his way of showing he was in control, I concluded within myself.

I spent days on my bed feeling the lowest I'd ever been in my life. I was soaked in so much embarrassment that I couldn't take a step outside of my room in the dormitory. Rose tried to lift my spirits but all her efforts were met with no success. How could I obey her words and cheer her up as she suggested? When my whole world was falling apart?

I was exposed to the whole world as the girl who didn't have any shame, the girl who allowed herself to be used like a slut. The videos had reached every part of the school and beyond. It was all everyone could talk about. I had cried so much that I began to feel like I was gradually losing myself.

All my rejections of Rose's relentless effort to cheer me up didn't stop her from trying again. She came in while I was feeling deeply rejected, laying on my bed.

"Roxanne, you've got to leave this room at some point." She said and placed a plate of ice cream before me. I could see it was my favorite vanilla flavor as she dropped the plate.

I said nothing as I continued to stare blankly at the ceiling. When Rose realized that what she was trying to do wasn't working, she left the room. I thought she'd given up but when she came back, it was with my favorite take-out food.

She began to urge me until I had no other choice but to indulge her.

"After a while, the whole school would have something else to talk about and this will all be gone." She tried to reassure me.

I shook my head slowly. Even if that were true, it changed nothing. Whenever I was seen around the campus, I would only be remembered for only one thing—that sex tape. I began to weep again. I cried until it was very late in the evening then I slept off.

When I woke up, it was already midnight. An idea suddenly came to me. I needed to leave the dormitory and get an apartment somewhere else. It was the first thing I should have done. The dormitory was full of so many things and people that reminded me of school. Maybe if I got away, things wouldn't be as bad as they currently were.

I picked up my phone and began to search for small apartments near campus until I found one. I still had a lot of money from what I earned with Derek. I was grateful I had such money with me when I really needed it. I even got myself a car before all this started.

By morning, I began to move my things out of the dormitory room. Rose was shocked at first, but when I told her that I needed it, she understood and wished me well. She promised to always check up on me when she could.

After spending a few days at the new apartment, I found out that nothing much changed. I still felt as miserable as I felt back at the dormitory. It became even worse. I spent my days in seclusion and my nights provided me with crying hours. Calls continued to flow in from Derek, my mom, and now Rose. I still hadn't been able to speak to anyone.

I sat on the floor and rested my back against the wall when Derek's call came in again. I hissed with irritation. Why was he calling me so persistently? After all, he had ruined my life. Did he want to destroy what was left of it? After everything he'd done, he still had the gut to call me.

Impulsively, I answered the call when he called again.

"Roxanne? Why haven't you been picking up my calls? Where are you?" he asked as soon as I answered the phone. He sounded angry and frustrated, and it made me even more mad at him.

"I can't believe this is coming from you," I said, "You expect me to answer your calls after everything you've done to me? You must be delusional. You've ruined everything for me. Everything."

Derek kept mute as I went on. I was a little surprised that he didn't have anything to say. It was unlike him. He would always have something to say even when he was clearly guilty. It didn't matter to me anyway. All I cared about was getting him out of my life.

"Now you call and ask why I haven't been answering my phone," I continued. "It shows how arrogant and hypocritical you are. Listen carefully Derek, I don't want to have anything to do with you ever again. You are a parasite and all you do is destroy and cause problems. I hope things end really badly for you too."

I hung up the phone and stepped outside to the small balcony at the new apartment. Speaking to Derek had unsettled me in so many ways. I was filled with depressing emotions and I couldn't take it anymore.

The evening's cold breeze blew against my warm body as I stepped out and it made me feel a little better than I was a moment ago. I was glad I wasn't at the dormitory anymore. Derek couldn't just show up as he did back there. He was the last person I wanted to see right now.

I wondered what Lucas must be thinking about me right now. He must really detest me after seeing that video. It broke my heart to think about this. It was all so confusing and bleak. I stared at the brightly lit city before me and felt so small against a world that seemed to not want me.

Instantaneously, I decided to leave the house and wander around. I went back into my room and changed my clothes, replacing my pajamas with a hoodie jacket on denim trousers. With nowhere particular in mind, I set out of the house.

Firstly, I began to walk around the streets, observing as everyone tried to hustle their way home after a work day. Car honks and engine sounds seemed to be everywhere as I walked past the long road. Suddenly, it began to feel like I was a stranger in a huge city. I wondered if I was beginning to lose my mind.

I decided to leave here and go somewhere else to start all over again. There was nothing else left for me, and. there really wasn't anything holding me back here. So, I headed back to the apartment, packed a few things, and got into the car.

I was driving slowly past a small road covered by an overhead bridge when three men approached me. They looked violent and rash as they laughed at me. It wasn't too long before I realized that they were robbers. I told myself that I wouldn't give them a chance from where I was inside the car but they brought out guns and waved them at me. I became scared.

"Come out of the car before I blow your head out!" One of them yelled.

I turned the ignition off and slowly got out of the car. Things were becoming crazier than I thought because I saw two more men approaching me from behind. One of them pushed me forward and I landed on the ground. I winced as I hit my knee against the hard ground.

They began to go through everything I had in the car as though they were looking for something.

"Please, let me go," I begged. "You can have everything, just let me go."

"Shut up!" The first man ordered. "Who do you think you are?"

"Please…" I started again but before I could get more words out of my mouth, a loud bang sound erupted and I found myself on the floor again. I placed my hand on the area that felt painful on my body and found out that some kind of liquid was coming out of my body.

It was my blood and I had just been shot. Before I fainted out, I heard another loud sound, like an explosion. Then a figure appeared in front of me and picked me up before everything faded out.