Chapter 76- The Weight of Guilt

Salara’s POV

Once all of the adrenaline has left my system from the sudden appearance of strange wolves, the reality of what I have just done weighs heavily on my mind. I am not a violent person and I never would have thought myself capable of harming another person, but I found out today that I am capable of doing much worse.

Staring down at the unseeing eyes of the wolf turned into a young woman, the impact of her unnecessary death hits me hard. I am the one responsible for taking away her future and the future of the other wolves that I have killed on this day.

The tears come easily to my eyes as I throw myself against Derrick’s warm fur. The guilt of taking lives is like a boulder laying heavily against my chest. I didn’t mean for things to go that far, but when Leigh told me that danger was coming, I couldn’t stop myself from reacting towards the threat.

We stand like that for what feels like hours, but who knows how long it actually was. Leigh has been whispering encouraging words to me the entire time, while Derrick stood there silently, allowing me to snuggle into his fur.

According to Leigh, I was quite ruthless in some of my past lives, something I don’t like to think about. I would like to tell her she is wrong, but I felt the rush of bloodlust that came over me once the battle had begun back on the soccer field. It was a heady feeling and it nearly took over me.

Not to mention, those dreams that I keep having with snippets of my past lives tells me all that I need to know about my past character. And as thrilling as it is to know that I haven’t always been so helpless, watching myself repeatedly kill a blurred figure over and over is not helping with my fragile mental state.

‘He was not always like that.’ Leigh’s quiet words interrupt my silent musings.

Before I can respond to her strange words, I can feel the rippling of Derrick’s fur start beneath my grasp. Taking a step back, I watch in aww as the great big black wolf quickly shifts back into the charming man that I have grown to love so much, with his delicious nakedness on full display for my eyes.

Wanting to avoid the feelings of loss that is still swirling around inside of me, I launch myself at Derrick, wrapping my legs around his middle when he catches me and lifts me up. The instant that our lips touch, fireworks set off inside of my head and lava flows through my veins.

Without even touching me, Derrick has me dripping wet and ready for him. Without giving him time to protest the urgency, I position his hardened length at my entrance and push down until he is completely sheathed by my warmth. A moan echoes out around us in the thick woods, our voices mingling together from the pleasure of our bodies joining.

Once our bodies were connected, it was a mad dash to the finish line. The sounds of our animalistic growls and bodies slapping together are the only sounds that we can hear as we chase the orgasm that is just out of reach.

It doesn’t take long for the both of us to reach our completion and fall down to the soft grass, the both of us panting to gain the oxygen we have deprived ourselves. Derrick pulls me in close to his side, the sound of his rapid heartbeat soothing to my jumbled nerves.

“Feel better?” Derrick asks after we have both come back from panting like a pair of dogs, which I guess in a sense, we kind of are.

Snuggling in closer to his warmth, I nod my head instead of speaking any words. Sex with Derrick is always great, and it was much needed in a time where I felt so vulnerable, but it unfortunately wasn’t able to wipe away the guilt that I feel over the young woman’s life.

After a few minutes of us lying there silently, the sound of hesitant footsteps approaching in our direction reaches my sensitive ears. The scent of an unmated female, something I am not sure how I am able to discern, slowly makes her way in our direction. A warning growl rumbles up my chest, halting to young she-wolf in her tracks, while the scent of her fear permeates the air around her.

Derrick stiffens beneath me slightly, but quickly relaxes as a husky chuckle vibrates his chest beneath my head. “It is just an Omega with clothes for her, my love.” He whispers against my head, doing little to ease the possessive feelings that have suddenly sprouted up inside of me. Letting out a sigh, Derrick orders the poor woman to leave the clothing and return back to the packhouse.

Once the clothes have left her hand, I hear the pounding of her footsteps growing further and further away from us. A satisfied feeling settles in my chest, taking me by surprise with how easily I approve of scaring an undeserving wolf.

Derrick pulls me up from the ground quickly, slamming my chest into mine as he lets out a flow of laughter that does little to calm me. Giving him my best scowl, I move to pull away from him, but his strong grasp easily leaves me trapped in his arms. “Wolves are very territorial, my dear.” His whispered words in my ear sets off a new desire to be joined with him, something I fear will never wane with us.

Not that that is a bad thing, but it can be pretty inconvenient when we live with a pack of wolves that can smell my constant arousal whenever their Alpha is around. This is going to take a lot of getting used to for sure.

***********

Upon our arrival back at the pack house, Derrick disappeared into his office where his Beta and the Elders were waiting for him to arrive. Derrick said that the young wolf that I killed in the woods isn’t a rogue, but the daughter of an Alpha from a different pack. He seemed troubled by this turn of events, something that I can’t blame him for one bit.

Why would the daughter of an Alpha risk her life to attack a strong pack like Derrick’s with a group of rogues? None of this makes sense to me, and apparently not to Derrick either who is currently trying to hide his worry from me, even though it is coming through the mate bond loud and clear.

Unfortunately, I don’t have time to go to my mate and comfort him. I haven’t seen Hayden yet since she witnessed the bloodshed on the soccer field, and I need to check in to make sure that she is okay. I know she is safe in Evelyn’s hands, but I need to be with her to explain everything that she has seen and ensure that she is handling it all well.

The sound of excited giggling reaches my ears the moment I open the door to the Alpha suite. Miguel is the first to spot me in the doorway, resulting in his excited footsteps to come bounding in my direction. He throws his arms around me the second he reaches me, his face turning up to look at me as if I was a superhero.

“You were awesome Mom!” He bounces away from me, delight dancing in his green orbs that remind me of his father. “The other players are so jealous that I have such a cool mom.” The look of pride on Miguel’s face melts away a chunk of the guilt that I have been drowning in since leaving the woods.

Hayden soon joins us at the entryway, a bright smile on her angelic features. “Bad guys gone?” She asks, showing me that toothy smile that I love so much.

I nod my head, dropping to my knee so I can be on her level. She instantly wraps her arms around my neck, giving me a tight squeeze before running back to the couch where Evelyn sits waiting for her. Evelyn gives me a knowing look before she returns her attention back to my giggling toddler.

Joining the three of them on the large couch, I drop down beside Evelyn with a heavy sigh leaving my lips. She pats my knee in comfort, her bright smile never leaving the excited face of Hayden as she stumbles over telling her something important about her day.

‘Children easily adapt to new surroundings.’ My head whips in Evelyn’s direction when the sound of her voice in my head startles me from my thoughts. She never looks in my direction though, her focus completely on the child now sitting in her lap.