Chapter 42 My Confession

Chapter 42 My Confession
Laura
It took several seconds before Julian's words sank in and when it did, I almost staggered backwards as my heart jumped in disbelief. I let out a low scoff, hoping to pass it off as a silly joke on a day like this but Julian didn't flinch. Time continued to trickle by in suspense and it was then I realised that it wasn't a joke. Julian wouldn't go that far, especially in front of the council. My heart started leaning toward his words. My wolf wanted it, but I knew I had to be careful. This was Julian. He could switch up at any second and once again my hopes would be shattered. "Laura, please... Say something..." He whispered and I realized that he was waiting for my reply. I saw sincerity reflected in his eyes. I felt wolves connection at that moment, and for the first in a long time, I could tell that he wasn't lying. But it was too painful to embrace it now and the hurt turned into anger. "What are you saying, Julian?" I frowned at him. His eyes never left mine. "I mean it Laura, I love you. We can't go our separate ways—" He turned towards the council and lowered his voice. "Laura—this is a mistake. I was hot headed, I was too upset. I know this isn't the place, but please, Laura, please don't leave me." Julian held his hands together and begged. Tears danced in my eyes. I had fantasized about Julian begging me in this manner and so many others— and now that he was doing it, I found it surreal. "Stop it, Julian! Do you think this is a game? A joke? You can't do things like this and expect to come back— you can't have your cake after throwing it away, Julian!" I whispered harshly, my voice heavy with emotions. Despair washed over Julian's face, but he recovered and pushed on. "Look, I couldn't figure out my emotions then, but I know it now, Laura. I love you, I can't lose you please—" Julian's voice croaked and in that break, I heard the people. They had begun to murmur loudly. I glanced at Sarah and she was horror-stricken. She looked pale and the boy in her arms was almost starting to look like her life support as she held tightly unto him. Even as she couldn't hear us, she already had an idea of what was going on. "Laura, please. Let's figure it out together, we can't go out this way." Julian whispered again, drawing my focus back to him. "I know I'm at fault, I did a lot of bad things but please find it in your heart to forgive me— let's start afresh Laura." The tears that had formed in my eyes began to drop and I brought out my handkerchief. As I stylishly dabbed at them, I caught Mack's movement from the corner of my eyes. She was standing and her body language was poised for violence. I dropped my hands at her to stay back, I had it under control. "Julian, I —" I started to say but the words never saw the light of day as a sharp pain tore through my chest stopped me mid-sentence. It took everything I had to not topple over. My breath quickened as I struggled to balance myself. Julian hadn't noticed, he still stared into my eyes, waiting. My heart hurt even more. I wanted to accept his offer, I really wished we could get back together. I wanted to make our love thrive again; I had dreamt of this all my life. All those memories we made together in the beginning, I knew those were sincere. But what was the point? In a few days or weeks, I would be dead anyway. Why promise to make our relationship thrive if I would be the one to break his heart with my death? I told Blade I wanted to leave the world without any worries, not to now have any of my loved ones or family worry about me. I wanted it to be peaceful, with no broken promise. The pain receded, and I was able to stand straight. I pushed back my tears with a heavy heart and forced a frown. "Julian, it is too late for that now." I managed to speak. But Julian wasn't having the rejection. His face morphed between confusion, anger, pity, and sadness before it returned to confusion. "Why is it late? How—why?" He stuttered. This part was going to hurt. "I have someone I love, just as you have Sarah. I can't go back after I have already moved on," I told him. I saw the light leave Julian's eyes at my confession. Tears filled up those orbs as he stared at me. I felt the sadness ooze out from him because of the connection our wolves had. "If you really love me, Julian, you will let me go. If you hold me back, I will never be happy, and that isn't love because it is one-sided. You wouldn't want that right?" Julian clenched his jaw and looked down at his shoes. He had a maelstrom of emotions going on within him. Tears rolled down my eyes again but I didn't bother to wipe them. I really hated this, I hated lying to him like this but it was for good. Tears threatened to drop from his eyes but he held them back with great control and feigned a small smile. I knew it took every inch of his will not to break down. I also wanted to breakdown because I had never seen him like this, he seemed so sincere. So fragile. My stomach folded, wishing there could be another way... But there wasn't. Julian nodded and held my hands. "I understand. I just—" he swallowed back his words and tried again. "I just want you to know that I'm sorry for everything. Don't hesitate to reach out to me if you are in trouble, I will always be there for you—" "You know there's no need for that, Julian; we have to move on." "I know, I know. But still, don't hesitate to reach out if you need anything." He feigned a painful smile. "I will accept your decision. This is my punishment for hurting you, for doing everything for you—" "Oh no, Julian—" "Nothing you say will change that. I wish you a good life, once again, I love you Laura." He confessed again. Anytime he said those words, my chest pain was becoming sharper. I felt like I wouldn't be able to make it to the end of the ceremony. "Thank you, Julian," I whispered. Julian turned back to the hall. "Let's go," he motioned. We walked back to the hall, with me behind him, and stood at our position. We could feel the tension in the air when we came back because the situation wasn't looking good. Even Mack didn't look too happy that we talked. Mack only wanted the best for me after everything, it was only natural for her to despise Julian. But my wolf was corrupted. The chairman cleared his throat and began. "I trust that you have settled your differences, shall we proceed?" Julian smiled and looked at me. I nodded at him and he cleared his throat. "Please proceed." His tone was high-pitched, very forced— Poor Julian, he was handling things the wrong way. He was been very hard about himself. But understood, even after I passed away— —This was for the best of us. The chairman nodded and started the procession for the divorce. A priest was summoned, and he read a few quotes from the Lycan book, talking about marriage and divorce, and everybody listened except me. The pain in my chest had become very unbearable. I gripped the stand and cursed myself for not doubling on the dosage of drugs this morning. I had forgotten about it because of Mack's team, and it would be very bad if they saw me taking drugs. "And now, the alpha shall repeat after me to break the vow he made with Laura in the Goddess's presence." Oh no. I clutched my chest, the pain had spread to my lungs. My breathing was shallower than ever, I couldn't get enough air no matter how I tried. My hands felt numb, everything spun around me. I turned to Julian but he was looking at the council. I croaked his name, but words couldn't come out of my mouth. It was as if my lungs had disconnected from the rest of my body. "I, Julian Ravensbridge, Alpha and Lycan king of the realm hereby—" I barely heard what he said as the pain intensified and my vision dwindled. In a matter of seconds, I lost all sense of myself and slowly everything started becoming dark. The last thing I saw was Mack's horrified expression as my legs gave in and everything finally turned dark.