Unworthy

The strong burn of my back pushes me into restlessness whilst the soft cushions do nothing to ease the discomfort. I struggle trying to move into a suitable position that would make me feel better but nothing seems to work my body trying to endure carrying the weight.

My male walks in with fast steps carrying a small bottle in his hands, shutting the door behind him he heads towards me. His office in our villa is often very quiet and no one dares to disturb in person or through the phone so I come here to relax. Most nights, he works behind the table and I indulge in the presence of my mate.

Kneeling at my feet he removes my socks. "It is a bit swollen, my female." He whispers peering up to meet my tired eyes. I didn't get any sleep last night turning and twisting the pain of my body consuming me. He didn't know what to do but hold and rock me until I could close my eyes for a bit.

"I do not know why, I didn't strain myself." I whine eyeing my feet with pure uncomfortableness. The soles are red, flesh throbbing, and sensitive.

"The healer gave me this." He says lifting the bottle so I could see it. The texture seems to be like oil.

"Is it the same one as you always use?" I question unsure of its actual contents.

"No, this is different. It will act as a drug to numb your feet for a while whilst it heals you at the same time." He says pouring out the information he has acquired.

"Well, someone has been studying." I chuckle.

"I have a pregnant female to take care of." He says with a smile. He pours the liquid into his palms rubbing them together creating heat between the flesh. Lifting my feet placing it upon his thigh his fingers slowly begin their massage. Not much pressure is added just a little from the pads of his fingers.

"I remember the first time you did this." A soft laugh leaves my lips as I shake my head.

A light pink hue paints his cheeks his eyes focused on my feet. It was really bad, he didn't know what to do stumbling about whilst carrying the bottles pressing down without proper focus. He ended up causing me more pain.

The healer trained him, he would dedicate time to learn after he finished his duties. No matter how tired he was he would always go. Some nights when I woke up in the middle of the night he wouldn't be by my side but in the healer's office watching and learning the methods to ease my pain.

"You didn't need to go that far." I whisper closing my eyes relaxing, feet numbing.

"You were in pain, Lumina. Not one I could heal just by staying next to you. I wanted to make you feel better." He replies eyes scrunched never removing them from my feet.

He has gotten so good at this I told him he could train the males of our pack so they could help their females. He laughed when I said this. Loud laughter from his belly. "Feel better?" He questions.

"Yes. Your hands are miraculous." I moan loving the feeling upon my body.

A soft knock has me sitting up on my elbows carrying my weight. "Enter." Deimos commands and the door swiftly opens giving us the view of a freshly showered Ragon standing with droplets of water still drenching his hair. He rushed to come here.

"Alpha. Luna." He looks at both of us giving each of us a bow of respect and greeting.

"Ragon." I greet back with a gentle smile. My favorite male.

Deimos's chest vibrates as he lets out a low growl not liking my choice of words. A flash of fang towards me has me nuzzling into him. "After you, of course." I whisper my lips placing a soft kiss to his mark.

"The jet is ready and waiting for us at the airport. I am here to collect your bags." Ragon says.

"They are in the living room, I put them there last night after finishing up with Lumina's clothes." Deimos replies continuing with his massage. Perhaps this is not the best position to be in with him kneeling on the ground and my leg upon his flesh. In terms of his status, wolves may regard this as degrading. But my male doesn't care, he does what he pleases and always puts me first.

Finishing up he slides a new pair of fur socks on my feet making it even warmer. Now all I want to do is sleep. Ragon heads down with a nod and I look back to my male as he cleans up everything. Putting the last of his papers into the file he seals it placing it into his private hand luggage.

Eyes scan over the room as he inspects that everything has been taken and none left. With one last glance at his desk, he grabs his phone thrusting it into his back pocket. Striding towards me he bends down to my eye level.

"Can you walk or do you wish for me to carry you?" He asks eyes gentle. He often asks before he takes any actions not wanting to go against my wishes.

"I can walk." I nod encouraging myself. My feet are numb and I cannot feel anything anyway. Getting up slowly Deimos has his arm around my waist carrying my weight preparing to pass it back when I say so.

Taking a tiny step forward has me leap with joy. I feel nothing. The fur socks acting as a cushion providing me more comfort. I meet his eyes implying he can let me go now and he slowly adheres to my wish.

I walk away from Deimos swaying on my feet adding pressure from one leg to another. "Nothing. No pain." I say a huge smile upon my face, now I can travel with ease.

"Good, if the pain returns. Let me know, Lumina. I will ease your pain even if it wasn't behind closed doors." He says following closely behind me as I head down to the living room. I nod in reply keeping my eyes on the stairs. My right hand clutching the railing my left under my belly.

Deimos takes a step with me and stops when I do, his eyes never leaving my flesh. My eyes scan the living room and tears well in my eyes. We have stayed here for a year and I cannot bear to leave it. The memories I have of this place beautiful yet painful at the same time. My male was awoken from the brink of death and my pup has spent the first six months of life here.

"I will bring you here as many times you want, my female. You will never lose this place or the memories imprinted within these walls. I will make sure they will always be alive, this I promise." He whispers with a kiss to my head.

Clenching my jaw taking a shaky breath, I follow Deimos out of the villa. I don't look back for my male has promised me that I will return. This makes me stronger for I know he is a male who keeps his promises.

Ragon and Elriam have already left to Giovanni's pack to take care of the final preparations. The driver bows as soon as he sees me his fingers wrapping around the handle pulling the door open. I greet him with a smile of my own getting into the car slowly.

My right foot dives in first whilst the other waits outside until my body settles upon the seat. Deimos comes towards me bending down thrusting my seatbelt into the socket having a look over if I am comfortable. Once he is satisfied he walks over to the other side taking his seat next to mine.

"I have warned him to drive cautiously for I know the bumps along the path will be horrible for you." He whispers peering down at me. I nod in acceptance as it is the truth. That is why I stayed back here and would go to Gio's pack once a week only.

My male pulls me to his side so he can carry some of my weight and I could indulge in the heat of his flesh. The wolf made sure to drive as slowly as possible that the cars behind us honked continuously in annoyance and raced past us.

Deimos kept peeking down the entire ride making sure to see if I was uncomfortable, upset, or stressed. I had to ease him by meeting his eyes once in a while to show him I was fine.

As soon as we reached Gio's grounds my heart pounded in my chest overflowing with hidden pain. Goodbyes are the worst, something I detest with all my soul. The pack waits outside for me, unlike the first time we met. The sight was not that of lifted lips or low snarls but heavy tears and soft sobs.

I have made another home here with the pack and with the females. As soon as they sense me they rush towards me pulling me into their circle some kneeling on the floor holding onto my leg sobbing. Deimos takes a step back allowing us this privacy. I cannot control my emotions but sob with them my lips quivering my body swaying.

A shrill scream of a pup leaves us unsettled and I immediately know its source. Gianna struggles to get out of her brother's grasp as he tries to clutch onto her. Her arms failing nails scratching her brother's flesh, cheeks red with discomfort she meets my eyes wishing to get to me.

"Let her come, Gio." I whisper. He lets her go and she runs to me as fast as her little legs could take her.

"Stay. Please stay." She whines pulling on the hem of my skirt. Kneeling with a struggle so she could meet my eyes, placing a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"Gianna looks so pretty today." I whisper wiping her cheeks with my thumbs. "Gianna look." I tell her softly placing her tiny palm on my stomach.

"Do you know who is hiding inside?" I ask and she shakes her head soft hiccups leaving her pink lips.

"A pup, just like you. My pup feels alone inside and wants to come out and play with someone. I am leaving so this can happen. Don't you want a playmate, Gianna?" I ask her.

Her eyes widen and she nods her head a hint of excitement surging forward. "I do but Gio doesn't let me have one." She whispers.

"Well, he will. You can play with my pup. I will return as soon as the pup is of age. Can you wait for me?" I ask her.

She shakes her head in disapproval not wanting to let me go but a low warning growl from her brother has her flinching and then slowly nodding looking at her feet hands clutched together. Lips wobbling, tears pool in her eyes again. Deimos comes closer and squats down next to me.

"We have something for you." He says taking a pink box out of his front pocket. He passes it to me. Opening the box I remove the necklace we custom made for her. It has a small locket with a picture of her and me inside it. I show it to her as she leans forward squinting to see what I possess.

Once she recognizes our faces a small smile graces her face. Wrapping it around her neck hooking it safely I let her feel it on her flesh. "I will return Gia, I promise." I control my tears that wish to flood holding my sobs within the depths of my throat.

Giving her a soft kiss, I pick her up and stand straight as Giovanni walks towards us. He holds his emotions well hiding them behind his calm exterior. As soon as he is within my reach he takes his upset sister from my arms.

He looks from his uncle to me and with a gentle smile, he bows deeply. Raising back up meeting our eyes head-on he says, "Until we meet again." An Alpha male has risen one trained and grown by my male.

A chuckle leaves my lips watching the siblings, they are like my own. The bond I have created with them is unbreakable. "Until we meet again." I whisper struggling to breathe as I scan the pack.

Deimos gives a curt nod to the wolves and a long lingering gaze at the siblings. He opens the car door for me to step in. I take a seat and before he could shut the door my voice booms through, "Call me, Gio. At least once a month no matter how busy you are."

He nods a smile on his lips, "I will be waiting for the good news, Zia." His final words to me regarding my pup as the door shut close.

I take a heavy painful breath giving air to my lungs. I do not look outside keeping my eyes on my feet. As the car drives away from the grounds and their scents die I bite my lower lip shutting my eyes close.

I feel his gaze upon my flesh the tingles running down my spine. Our eyes meet. "Come." He says opening his arms for me knowing the war within. A loud sob leaves my lips wrapping my arms around him thrusting my face into his chest I wail my sorrow. A heavy sigh passes his lips as he pats my back gently comforting me.

The entire ride to the airport has me sobbing and letting my emotions out. I would stop for a while tired and then begin again once the memories of them graze my mind. Deimos didn't move staying still his cheek leaning on top of my head allowing me to grieve the distance that would come between the siblings and me.

"Comfortable?" Deimos asks me whilst buckling my seatbelt. I nod quickly looking outside the jet window. I didn't even flinch or get scared like last time when it took off. I didn't feel anything.

Gianna must be crying now and this thought makes my lips quiver. "That is enough, my female. Stop now." Deimos whispers his thumbs sliding across my eyelids easing them.

"Yes, Alpha. We will come again soon." Elriam utters gazing at me with sadness. Her eyes drowning with worry.

"You need to rest, Lumina. I need you to sleep until we land as I know for sure you will not once you meet your females." He says guiding me to the room at the back. My hand clutched in his as he swiftly passes through the seats walking straight to the back door.

With a click of a button, the door slides open automatically giving me a view of the bed. He pushes me gently and I crawl upon the mattress slowly my palm beneath my belly until I lie flat upon it. Deimos takes a pillow placing it on my side and I immediately turn to throw my leg on it as it supports my stomach.

"Sleep." He whispers bending down a soft kiss to my forehead. With slow steps he leaves the room, the door sliding shut behind him.

I close my eyes shut not wishing to think about anything and just give the rest my body needs. I have had enough today both emotionally and physically. The soft hum of the jet that plays in the background lulls me to sleep along with the slow bumps it undergoes as it passes through the clouds.

I clear my mind covering myself in the covers inhaling its lavender scent and doze off into darkness hoping I do not dream of the bonds I left behind.

My sleep was not deep as I was often disturbed by the heavy shaking of the jet throwing my body along the mattress and my uncomfortableness of sleeping in an unfamiliar and enclosed space. I would open my blurry eyes to scan the room and slip into slumber again.

What does wake me is the smell of heated food and fresh bread. I haven't eaten anything since breakfast my appetite lost with my pain and anxiousness. My stomach speaks to me begging to fill it and I open my tired eyes.

Removing the blanket off my face I struggle to sit up rubbing my eyes to get rid of the blurriness. The door slides open and Deimos peeps inside. As soon as his eyes find mine he greets me with a gentle smile. "Sleep well?" He asks. I nod hesitantly and then shake my head quickly in disapproval.

He chuckles as he walks over to sit behind me. "You will sleep better once we are at home. Another hour left for us to land."

"I am hungry." I whine leaning my back against his chest. Perhaps I have grown to become spoilt but I love the feeling of being treated as such.

"I know. I could hear your stomach all the way there." He chuckles again earning a soft playful punch from me.

Opening the side drawer he extracts a small brush. "You need to look presentable, no? It is the first time they are seeing their Luna carrying the future Alpha." He says as he begins to comb my hair making sure to sink into the knots and free them.

I close my eyes drowning in the feeling, waiting patiently as he finishes. I thread my fingers through my hair to find it smooth and untangled. Turning around, I am faced with a sudden kiss from my male. His fingers holding my chin raising my head to meet his as he bends to take my lips in his.

"Food?" He asks leaning back peering down at me.

"Food." I nod eagerly wanting to fill my belly.

The rest of the journey home runs smoothly. I ate to my heart's content and sat next to Deimos watching a movie with him my head placed on his shoulder. It had a sad ending that made me sob as my male laughed whilst wiping my tears with a tissue.

The landing wasn't that bad. Yes, it was scary and made my entire body shiver with anxiety and fear now that I have another life to protect. But Deimos made it easier for me killing the tension with his warm gentle hands and words.

"I am nervous." I whisper leaning into him our elbows touching. We are a few minutes from the pack and my heart is beating running through the barriers. Ragon is driving with Elriam in the passenger seat both engrossed with their low chatter.

"Why?" He asks frowning gulping down the remaining contents from the flask. Thunder booms across the sky and rain pounds the earth the forceful wind helping it strike the car window glass.

"What will they think when they see me? Perhaps that I have gained weight?" A small whimper leaves my lips as my eyes fall to my lap.

Deimos laughs loudly head thrown back mouth open. A laugh from his belly. He meets with a lift of my lips and the glare of my fang. His laughter dies into chuckles as he peers down at me. "Lumina. This is normal. Plus I like how your cheeks have filled out." He says giving a soft pinch to my left cheek.

Embarrassed and filled with anger I slap his hand away moving to the corner turning away from him my face towards the window. He dares to tease me in this situation. He laughs again saying, "I am sorry, my female. Come here." The rest of the ride has me pouting and Deimos cackling but at the same time trying to earn my forgiveness.

As soon as the car drives through the open gates and parks. Deimos and the two betas get out of the car swiftly closing the doors shut behind them. My male helps me as I clutch onto his arm taking tiny steps the rain drenching me soaking my clothes.

The fog clears and my view becomes clearer. My eyes meet with my females' and my soul rejoices. A song is being sung as I take my steps towards them loud howls from within their chests boom tears running down their cheeks.

They aren't just welcoming me but their future Alpha. Pride surges forth as Deimos leads me head held high back straight. They kneel upon the wet soil dirtying themselves head bent low as they welcome us.

A reunion has begun a joining of hearts and minds. I shudder under his arms as they protect me from the cold rain, a safe wing I am sheltered under. As soon as I am near my females' run to me bare feet sinking into the wet grass floor.

I welcome their presence as they wail encaging me within their bounds. Their noses sniffing my scent taking in the change, eyes scanning my belly. My forehead meets with many. Some laughing with happiness others praying their thanks. I comfort them as a mother would after returning to their pups. The oldest of all gently lays her palm on my belly patting it with a soft smile on her face.

The sudden strike of lightning that booms across the sky disrupts us and frightens me as I flinch and shiver beneath its intensity but what frightens me more is the male that is emerging from within the darkness. His steps are heavy feet crushing the floor, pounding the earth leaving deep footprints in the soil. He carries the storm with him.

My females quieten and so do I. My eyes focus on this male whose features I cannot see entrapped by the night. He is clothed merely in woolen trousers his chest bare as if the cold didn't affect him in any way.

My females make way and Deimos takes my left. This male resembles a bear, huge in size his muscles oozing power and strength. No this is no ordinary wolf. Each step has the ground crumble beneath him the storm calms in fear of his wrath.

I push myself deeper into my male's side unsure of this potential predator striding towards us. As soon as he is within our reach a flash of lightning has me meet his eyes. They hold the color of the vast skies in the summer as it kisses the depth of the oceans.

My male stiffens his heart pumping not with fear or uneasiness but pure happiness as he regards this male in front of us. "Brother." Deimos whispers a gentle smile on his lips. My eyes widen as I look back and forth between the two males.

The wolf meets Deimos's eyes head-on no smile on his lips but his eyes they speak. Speak of his happiness. He gives a curt nod to Deimos as he takes a step forward to us. Reaching out his palm, Deimos is quick to hold it in his.

They share a moment, eyes meeting talking but no words are spoken. "This is my female, Lumina." Deimos introduces me. The male's eyes are immediately on me a striking blue taking my breath away. His eyebrows and eyes sharp as he scans me from head to toe lingering on my belly.

A scar runs down his right eye adding to the fire of his intimidation. He truly resembles a beast. "Lumina, this is my brother. Phobos. He took care of the pack whilst we were away." Deimos whispers never taking his eyes off his brother. All these years and my male hasn't mentioned he had a brother.

Phobos takes a step towards me and I take a step back my eyes widening. My heart pumping almost as if my ribcage couldn't contain its beats. He tilts his head peering down at me his height taking me off guard. His flesh filled out not an inch of space for extra fat. He meets me with not a gentle gaze but a strong ruthless one.

He walked as if he owned this place as if it were his. No doubt no fear pure possession. The tips of my hair stand up when his eyes meet me a strong current rushes through me. This male is of no good. My eyes widen again with what I have found. They are equals. His beast and him. Something impossible. How?

I see a small female walking towards us her hands hugging herself, feet bare as she shivers taking small steps to us. The scent I once hated, the familiar golden locks and wide hips I once felt jealous of. Theia.

She sneezes along the way shivering her hair drenched her eyes never leaving the ground. I saw a change of posture in Phobos. More guarded unrelaxed as she neared us. She comes to a stop at his right head bent peering down at her feet.

Phobos takes a step away from her creating space between them and she flinches visibly. Deimos watches confused for a while but his eyes light up as realization surprises him. He smiles wide showing his teeth. "Your female?" He asks looking directly at his brother.

I gasp silently looking at Theia and her moon blessed. Phobos meets my male's eyes and looks down at his female in disapproval. She meets his eyes and quickly looks away for she cowers beneath his gaze. No, she does not even share a smile with my male, her eyes only for her moon blessed.

Theia is drowning, her mate bond pushing her into ocean depths. She only regards her male, she wants him. Her soul calls to him for I can see it. Eyes speak more than words.

But when I saw the look in Phobos's eyes I knew. It was the same Deimos looked at me when he first met me. *Unworthy.*