Chapter 61 SIXTY-ONE

Chapter 61 SIXTY-ONE
J A D E

I was still shaken up from yesterday’s events. I couldn't stop thinking about how the man had found me. Was he following me? Had I been careless and let something slip?

I didn't know, but I was scared. And the thought of Saffra finding me made my blood run cold.

Just as I thought my life was finally coming together, I was out from Markov’s life so I thought the drama that followed him would finally leave my life for good, and it would have if saffra had stopped at what she was doing before I ran away.

But no, the evil bitch decided to up her game and came after me herself. And if I had to guess, I'm sure that if her lackey had managed to kidnap me and take me away, she would have made sure she would have made an appearance to gloat.

And that's what terrified me the most, the fact that saffra knew me and knew exactly what would drive me mad, my death would be in my own hands. And that's exactly what she wanted, for me to kill myself, and die at her hands.

The thought was too much.

"Jade…" Markov’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and I turned to look at him. He looked tired, a little bit weary as he approached me. I had seen him transform into an enormous Lycan beast which I still couldn’t unsee no matter how much I tried, but I also felt bad that he didn’t want to scare me further, when all he did was try to protect me. 

I reminded myself that it wasn’t his fault that he turned out like this. He was a lycan quite alright, but the curse placed on him morphed him into something else entirely. A monster. And if I had to guess.

He didn’t choose to be born as who he is, he was just as much of a victim in this as I was. Maybe even more so. He didn't have any choice in this, he couldn't decide if he wanted to be cursed, and it seemed unfair that I blamed him for things that weren’t his fault.

I wanted to hate him, but I knew it wouldn’t be right, not when he was the one who has been sacrificing everything, even his freedom and happiness, to save me and keep me safe from Saffra.

"We're moving back to the pack. Now."

The statement shook me from my thoughts, and I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"I can't do that." I said, my voice low and strained. I went from feeling bad for him to getting angry. 

"It's not safe for you here."

"You'll keep me safe." I insisted, my voice firm.

He sighed, his shoulders sagging.

"We need the pack to help us protect you, Jade," he said, his voice laced with frustration. "The more eyes, the better. You saw what happened last night, he almost took you, and if he had, we wouldn’t have known. This is serious."

I could hear the worry in his voice, and it made my heart ache. He was right, but the thought of moving back to the pack terrified me. The pack was filled with monsters like the ones who had tried to hurt me, and I didn’t think I would be able to deal with it.

I had been safe with the humans, and I felt at home with them. I couldn't bear to go back, and live with a constant sense of dread hanging over me. I wanted to be free, and I wouldn’t be able to do that if I returned to the pack.

"I can't." I said, my voice breaking.

"Jade," he said, his eyes pleading with me.

"No, Markov. You promised. You promised that I wouldn't have to go back," I said, my eyes filling with tears.

He sighed, his shoulders sagging in resignation.

"Are you being serious right now? After what happened yesterday, you still expect me to keep to my words and risk your life? Do you want me to lose you again? Because that's what will happen if you don’t leave. Saffra wants your blood on her hands, and I will never forgive myself if I let her win and have her way."

I could hear the emotion in his voice, and it broke my heart.

He was right, he was so fucking right, but I just couldn't do it, not when the pack was the place I had wanted to flee from and escape, I just couldn’t bring myself to return to the place where I had felt the most terrified and alone.

"Please, Jade, I need you to listen to me." He continued.

"No," I said, shaking my head. "I won't do it, Markov. I can move into a different apartment. A more secure one. You can assign as many guards to protect me as long as they are not always in my face. You can have your way. But I will not be going back to the pack."

I knew I was being irrational, but I didn’t care. I was afraid, and I needed him to understand.

He looked at me for a long moment, his gaze searching mine. I knew he could see the fear and determination in my eyes, and I hoped he would give in.

After a tense moment, he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Fine, if you won't do this for yourself, do it for me."

I was taken aback. He has never pleaded or asked me for anything, so for him to do so was something I never saw coming. I stared at him, not knowing how to react.

"Do it for me, please." His voice was soft, almost pleading. "I can't lose you. I can't go through the same shit again. If something happens to you, I won't survive it, not after all we've been through. Please, Jade, I beg you. Don't do this."

"I..."

I didn't know what to say, my mind was a jumbled mess of emotions and I couldn’t think clearly.

I was conflicted, and I couldn't seem to make a decision.

"I’m sorry," I said, my voice barely audible. "I just can’t leave the life I’ve being living for the past three months and move back to your pack like I never left. I will be safe here. I trust you, Markov, please don’t make me regret that."

"It's not about you trusting me, Jade. You can trust me all you want, but I can't keep an eye on you 24/7." He growled, his voice filled with anger. "And this apartment doesn’t have security like our compound, they could easily find a way in if they really want to, and once they get to you, no amount of trust would matter because it's too late and you would be dead."

He was right, but I couldn't help but feel resentful.

I didn't say a word, and he just stared at me. After a long moment, he let out a sigh of resignation and stood up.

"I knew this wouldn't work," he muttered, before turning around and leaving the apartment.

I sat there, frozen in place, too shocked and surprised by the whole thing. I had expected him to fight more, to argue more, but I should've known that it would be in vain. I knew I had made a mistake, and that I should have given in, but I couldn't. I didn't want to go back.

I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to calm my nerves.

"Damn you, Markov." I whispered, my voice hoarse.

"You should listen to him, you know."

I jumped and looked up to see Tristin standing there, leaning against the doorway. I didn't even realize that he had come into the apartment. When did he arrive? Had Markov called him? 

"He knows what's best for you," he continued, his voice firm and filled with concern. "The pack has security. You'd be safe there. The humans don't have that kind of protection. It's just not safe here, especially after what happened last night."

"He’s right, Jade. You aren’t safe here anymore." Ava said, coming up behind Tristin. 

"Did Markov call you guys here to lecture me and treat me like a baby?"

"No, Jade, no." Ava said, sitting next to me on the bed. "We aren’t here to lecture you but to convince you that this is not the way. We just want you to be safe and alive."

"Yeah, well, I can't just go back there. The thought terrifies me."

"I know it's not ideal," she said, her voice soft. "Look, I know you love the newfound freedom you’ve gotten since moving here. For the first time, you’re finally LIVING. You’re living by your own rules, you make the decisions, you have a life of your own, but Jade, it's just not safe anymore. If something happened to you..." Her voice trailed off and she looked at me, her eyes filled with sadness and concern.

"I get it, I do." I said, my voice cracking. "But I'm so terrified, Ava, and I'm afraid to go back, I just can't."

"I know it's not easy, Jade." She said, her voice gentle. "But you have to trust us. You're part of this pack, and we won't let anything happen to you, we'll protect you, all of us. Whatever happened with Markov won’t repeat itself anymore. He regrets his mistakes and would rather die before making the same mistakes."

"I trust Markov. I trust all of you guys. I trust you, Ava, and I trust Tristin, but I just don't trust your pack. All packs. My pack. It's been hell for me there, I've suffered and endured a lot. The pack isn’t my home." I said, my voice cracking. "You know, when I came to your place and begged for your help, I just wanted you to get me away from Markov, and I had this huge fantasy of running away from you guys to the city and having a life of my own where I wouldn’t have to deal with Markov anymore. Or Alpha Dane. Or Saffra. And it would have happened if saffra had never caught up to us."