Chapter Nine — Home

Maybe she had said something wrong. Maria had no idea why Joseph was hardly even looking at her the next morning. She had asked him if he’d like pancakes for breakfast and he had only grunted out, “I don’t mind,” before leaving for the bathroom for… whatever. She noticed, he limped even worse than yesterday. Perhaps it was only his knee bothering him more than usual, but it still hurt to think that she had said or done something that made him irritated or annoyed with her.

The solution in her mind was simple. She put extra effort into the pancakes, making them fluffy and soft. Maria watched him like a hawk to see if she had done a good job when he returned and began eating. He usually commented on her cooking skills which gave her a sense of success. After all, as an Omega it was her prime objective to please her Alpha. For the time being that was him, giving her shelter and food. But he only ate in silence, hardly glancing up at her when she asked if he wanted more maple syrup or another cup of coffee.

She must have done something wrong. Maria cleaned the dishes after breakfast, wracking her brain for what she might have done.

“I’ll take a long bath. Let Moose out in an hour so he can do his business.”

She nodded and gave him a smile he didn’t react to before he limped down the hallway and closed the bathroom door behind himself.

Stop, Maria. Stop, whatever you are doing that is annoying him. Do what he told you. Show him you are good, you are obedient. The lecturing voice of her mother came back to haunt her. No Alpha likes tardiness. No Alpha wants to raise their Omega. Learn to read him, please him, give him what he wants without having to tell you beforehand. Be good, be obedient so he loves you.

And she did. Maria made sure that the dishes were squeaky clean before she put them back into the kitchen cabinets, she cleaned the dining table of spots and crumbs, before she put on her extra socks and let Moose out to roam the surrounding area around the house.

The big dog was joy personified. He jumped through the thick snow, hopping like a rabbit, burying his whole face in the snow only to sneeze out the coldness from his nose. Maria wrapped her arms tightly around her middle and took in deep, calming breaths. The first chirps of blackbirds echoed from the evergreen trees. The air was still chilly and she wouldn’t stay out for much longer, but the sun warmed her face nicely.

Moose barked and caught her attention. He stood right in front of her with a stick lying on top of the snow by the porch.

“You wanna play, buddy?” she asked with a smile. Moose barked again, high and playful. Maria picked up the stick and wiped some of the snow off before she threw it. Not very far, but obviously enough for Moose to get some fun out of it. He retrieved the stick over and over, not caring one bit that Maria was slowly getting colder.

After the seventh or eighth throw, Maria heard a deep growl from inside the house.

“Why didn’t you watch the fire?” Joseph shouted.

Her heart dropped at his tone. He was mad, and he would hurt her, surely.

She stepped off the porch and into the snow when she saw him come down the hallway toward the front door.

“Get back inside, immediately. Are you crazy going out without shoes on? And why didn’t you tell me you didn’t have any more logs in the bedroom? Do you know how annoying it is to get a new fire going?” he hissed, holding up the towel around his hips with flared nostrils and anger tinting his scent dangerously spicy.

Maria forced herself to get closer, keeping her eyes on his hands in case he would try to hit her.

“I am not him,” he suddenly growled and took a few steps back, allowing her to keep her distance while still getting back up onto the porch. “I will not hurt you, but I am pissed. Get back inside and put on dry clothes. Now!”

Joseph pointed down the hallway, his expression pained and still radiating anger. Maria squeezed past him and kept her eyes down. She caught a glimpse of his scarred knee, the sight of its unnatural bend burning itself into her mind. It looked painful but Maria wouldn’t ask about it. Definitely not now when his anger made her stomach tighten. She hurried down the hallway and flinched when Joseph called for Moose to get back inside. The dog immediately followed her, not giving his master a single look.

Just like last night, Moose hopped onto the bed and waited for her to be comfortable to cuddle into her side. The room was cold thanks to the forgotten fire. Before yelling at her, Joseph must have started a new one that was fighting to warm up the bedroom. So even in his anger, he thought of her comfort. Maria snuggled deeper into the cocoon of blankets and comforters and held onto Moose for additional warmth.

The noise of his steps got louder, but Joseph didn’t enter the bedroom. He called through the door.

“I will be outside chopping wood. Don’t let the fire go out again. Not in the bedroom and not in the living room either.”

He didn’t wait for any kind of response before he limped off again, slamming the entrance door shut behind himself. At least now she knew what she’d done wrong. A silent tear ran down the side of her face.

I am not him, it echoed through her mind, I will not hurt you. Maria didn’t know if she could actually trust his words, but she wanted it so desperately. He could have hurt her when he was mad at her earlier, pushing her against the wall when she had passed him or flung her to the ground like Chad had done last time. The bedroom door was also no obstacle for an angry Alpha. Still, nothing had happened.

She fought against her fear and got up again. When Joseph came back inside, he would be frozen solid. A cup of hot coffee and maybe even the beginnings of lunch would be a welcomed sight when he returned. With her new plan installed, Maria began her work. A couple of minutes later the coffee was ready and waited in the thermos for the Alpha. The constant sound of metal splitting wood and his quiet grunts were interrupted a couple of times, probably to get more bigger logs to split. When lunch was almost ready, the pauses turned more frequent until it was more grunts and less splitting.

Maria furrowed her brows and debated if she should check on him, but he had ordered her to stay inside and look out for the fires. She had done that and her only hope was that he wasn’t angry at her again.

He wasn’t, but he wasn’t in a great mood either. She served him the coffee and put another log into the still roaring fireplace in the living room, doing the same in the bedroom. When she came back, Joseph still sat in the dining room chair he had slumped into after coming inside.

His eyes were closed and his face scrunched up in discomfort. Maybe it would help if she helped him out of his heavy boots? Maria came around to him and reached for his tight shoelaces when she picked up on the foul scent of pain. This close to him, she could actually smell it under the layers of his irritation.

“Do you want to take another bath?” she asked carefully, startling him when he opened his eyes and she stood right in front of him.

“Yes,” was all Joseph said before he gripped the edges of the table tightly to pull himself up. Maria looked after him when he made his way toward the hallway. Before he disappeared around the corner, he stopped and turned his head slightly to the side to look at her from the corner of his eyes.

“From this night on I will sleep in my own bed again.”

A cold feeling rushed through her. Before she could ask him where he wanted her to sleep instead, he was already on his way to the bathroom. Afterward, she told herself. She would ask him afterwards when he was in a better mood.

But even after a long relaxing bath, his mood still seemed at a low. He ate the meatloaf she had cooked up silently just like breakfast. She hoped when the evening rolled along, he would settle down on the couch, and then he might be more open for conversation.

After lunch he mumbled something about needing more firewood before he headed out into the coldness again. So, maybe she would just wait for him to broach the subject once more when it was time. She moved her food over the plate, not hungry enough to eat it. Chad had never allowed her to eat red meat because it only made her fat, but since Joseph’s pantry held virtually no fish of any sort, red meat it was.

She looked out the window by the couch and watched Joseph split more and more logs, the pile of wood by his chopping block becoming higher with every new log. His knee must hurt like hell, she thought, eating but not tasting the meal. It was probably the reason why he wanted to get back into his bed. Just the thought that he had taken up physical pain to give her the comfort of distance and a space to retreat to blew her mind. She had been selfish without even realizing it. The complete opposite of what a good Omega should do.

It was turning dark outside when he returned and placed a heap of damp firewood close to the living room fireplace to help dry it off quicker. Another mug of steaming hot coffee waited for him by the couch while some leftover meatloaf and potatoes were sizzling in the kitchen under Maria’s watchful eye.

“Do you want something else?” she asked, trying to sift through the fine notes in his scent to determine if he was going to snap again.

“No, meatloaf is fine,” he replied, mumbling and letting out a satisfied moan when he took a deep gulp from the coffee. A small smile tugged on her lips when Maria heard the silent praise in it. She had done something right.

They ate in silence once again. After cleaning up, Maria found the couch empty. After being outside the whole day, he was probably exhausted or his knee needed another relaxing bath. Tiredness sat in her bones as well. She turned off all the lights and made sure the fireplace in the living room still had enough wood before she carried Joseph’s blanket and pillow into the bedroom, making his bed and arranging her converted nest on the left side of the bed. She listened for his steps coming closer and crawled into bed, getting comfortable and making sure to leave enough space for his much bigger body.

The masculine scent clinging to his pillow so close to her was oddly calming to her senses. She should have felt at least a little weird for basically allowing him into her comfort zone, but strangely enough, she wasn’t. Something about him reminded her of her dad. She hadn’t seen him for over fifteen years, but something about Joseph brought back kind memories of her dad. Evenings in the living room with her sitting on his knee while they read a book together, a glimpse of her struggling with math and him bringing home her favorite flowers to help her with subtraction, his kind eyes when she showed him a drawing she had spent hours on. Home… Joseph smelled like home.

And then again there was the fact that the Alpha could have kicked down the bedroom door at any given moment or threatened her with throwing her out if she didn’t comply, but Joseph chose to give her space, and allow her the better sleeping commodities despite his health. Chad would have never done that.

When his silhouette appeared in the doorframe the slight scent of confusion accompanied him.

“Maria?” His voice was soft in the quiet of the night.

She hummed a “yes”, too tired to fight herself out of the cozy cocoon she was wrapped in right now. Joseph came closer and sat down on the edge of the mattress. Maria took in a deep breath and snuggled even deeper into the bed. He wasn’t him. He wouldn’t hurt her.