Chapter Eleven — Truth

Maria stood with her back pressed against the inside of the bedroom door and tried to calm herself down. Chad was back. She couldn’t escape from him. He was everywhere and he would find her again. Tears burned in her eyes before they ran down her cheeks once again. She couldn’t believe she had compared Joseph to Chad out loud. He wasn’t like him, not in the least. The only thing they had in common was their dynamic and that was it.

She sank down the door until she sat on the floor, tightly hugging her knees to her chest. He had a right to know what Chad had done to her and why she was so scared of leaving or being sent back to him. Joseph must have seen the marks on her body when she had first arrived. Hopefully, she wouldn’t have to go into too much detail, but she would if needed. He deserved the truth.

Maria waited until she was sure she wouldn’t break down in tears as soon as she spoke before she gathered herself off the floor. She walked down the hallway quietly, almost as if unconsciously, she didn’t want him to hear her approach.

She wrapped her arms tightly around her middle, taking in another steadying breath and stopped in the middle of the room when his eyes met hers. All of a sudden, her heart beat up into her throat. Maria swallowed thickly before she moved any closer to him. Her gaze dropped to the phone in his hands and uneasiness churned in her stomach. No, he wouldn’t call Chad and sell her out. He wasn’t like that.

Shaking, she rounded the couch and stopped right in front of him. “I’m sorry.”

Joseph shook his head and put the phone onto the coffee table. “Stop apologizing all the time, Maria.”

Heat rose into her cheeks.

“If you didn’t want to call… him, who were you going to call then?”

“If? Maria…” He let out a heavy sigh through his nose and shook his head. “I was going to call my former partner, Omar.”

She raised her eyebrows, realizing she had absolutely no idea if Joseph was straight or not. Partner sounded like the latter at least until he continued.

“When I was a cop in Seattle we used to be as close as it can get. I wanted to ask him to tell me everything he knows about Williams.”

Maria knew he wouldn’t find anything on the record. Most of her injuries were placed well-hidden underneath her long sleeves, knee-length dresses and high collars. The ones that needed more medical attention were usually dealt with under the table with enough dollar bills and whispered threats to make sure that none of her injuries found their way into her official medical records.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered and took a deep breath. “I-I shouldn’t have lied to you. About my surname.”

“You had your reasons,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Maybe, but I want you to know everything.” Maria sat down and watched Moose sneak closer to crawl onto the couch by her side. His warmth and comforting closeness gave her the distraction she needed to speak about the worst time of her life. Shame crept up her spine and settled heavily on her shoulders as she petted Moose’s big fluffy ears.

“I was twenty-one when I met him at a function. My mother had dragged me there like so many times before. Chad was… he was the perfect gentleman, saying all the right things and he liked me. A lot.” Maria took in a shaky breath remembering how rosy everything had seemed back then. It felt like it was a lifetime ago, when in reality only four years had passed.

“We married only two months later. We were the perfect couple. He bought me dresses, took me to fancy restaurants, and made sure I had everything I needed to be happy. During his campaign, I was always with him and he made sure everyone knew how much he loved me. After his election to mayor, he was busy but he still doted on me. Especially after…”

Maria’s eyes filled with tears and her breath caught in her throat.

“Especially after I got pregnant not quite a year after the wedding.”

From the corner of her eyes, she saw Joseph shift in his seat, but he said nothing. Maria felt cold all of a sudden and snuggled a little closer to Moose.

“I had a—” A sob cut her off. “I had a miscarriage six months in.”

She had hardly talked about that day, not with Chad and not with her mother or sister. But Joseph deserved the whole truth and that included her role in all this as well. It was her fault that Chad had become the way he was, her failure had driven him into his anger. Images of her hospital room flashed up in her mind, white walls, the smell of detergent, hushed voices of doctors and nurses… and Chad’s anger. The pain of the induced labor, the delivery itself and the feeling of loss when the midwife simply took him away, all came flooding back to her. Maria took in another shaky breath and pushed those memories aside again.

“His heart had simply stopped, they said.”

“Maria, I’m so sorry,” Joseph whispered, but she only nodded, not able to look up from Moose’s ears in her hands.

“Chad changed after that. Nothing I did was good enough and he was ashamed of me, of my failure as an Omega. It was my fault, I know it.”

“Why do you say that? Miscarriages happen.”

She shook her head and wiped a tear from her cheek. “No, I did something wrong. I must have.”

“Did you do drugs or drink alcohol during your pregnancy?”

Again, she could only shake her head.

“Did the doctors tell you what might have caused it?”

“No, they hardly talked to me, only to Chad.” But that wasn’t the point. “He was angry with me all the time. Correcting me when I did something wrong and punishing me when it was something bad.”

“He didn’t have a right to do that to you.”

“He’s my husband and my Alpha. Alpha knows best. Only good and obedient Omegas get love. Bad Omegas get nothing.” For the first time the lessons her mother had taught her didn’t sound right anymore. She and Joseph had not been on the same page for most of their time together, no matter how good and how obedient she was trying to be, and apart from his smell of annoyance or anger, no other consequences had happened to her this far. Maybe her mother was wrong.

“He was also mad at me because after the miscarriage, something was wrong with me. Still is.” Maria’s stomach clenched thinking about telling Joseph about her biggest flaw, something that made her think she was a failure above all things. “I haven’t had a heat since getting pregnant. I’m infertile.”

A fresh tear rolled down her cheek, landing on her cold hands clutched around Moose’s head. Maria waited for Joseph to say something, but he remained quiet. She needed a moment to gather the strength to look at him. He sat motionless on the couch, his head turned slightly away from her as he stared out of the window. Maria understood that he couldn’t bear the sight of a broken Omega like her. As soon as the streets were cleared, she would leave and he would never have to look at her again.

Regrets filled her. He had been kind to her, had comforted her earlier, and she had ruined it all by showing him what a useless thing she was. She slipped back into the lessons her mother had taught her; if an Alpha cares, he will teach you to become good.

Obviously, Joseph didn’t care… not enough to even look at her and not enough to correct her faulty behavior. Before she could say another word and risk him becoming disgusted with her, she pushed Moose’s head off her lap and returned to the bedroom. The urge to comfort-nest was strong, but if he wanted her to leave as quickly as possible or tell her to sleep on the couch from now on, disassembling her nest would take too long. She crawled into the bed and forced herself to sleep. This way her mind could hopefully come to rest again.

***

Hours later, she woke up because she felt impossibly warm. The fire in the fireplace flickered peacefully with enough fodder for at least a couple more hours. So her high temperature couldn't have come from that. Maria turned around and found Joseph’s side of the bed empty. Even his pillow and blanket were gone.

Maria let her hand glide over the mattress and found it completely cold. He hadn’t been in here at all unless to take his bedding and leave her alone. Of course, why would he, as an Alpha, want to spend any time around something as broken as her?

Sweat covered her face, warmth radiated from her skin. She needed water. Maria reached to the glass of water she usually kept on her nightstand and found it almost empty. With a little groan, she rolled out of bed and considered just getting water from the bathroom tap, but she didn’t trust the water quality. The last thing she needed was to be a bigger burden to Joseph by getting sick. On the other hand, this meant she had to enter the living room and disturb him.

Once she stood, she quickly needed to sit down again. A wave of dizziness caught her off guard and forced her to wait a second before her next attempt. Was this all the stress of the day catching up to her or should she have listened to Joseph and put on more layers whenever she’d left the house? One way or another, she was burning up.

Maria got up eventually and got herself some water. The only light in the living room came from the fireplace. She didn’t need to look to know that Joseph was peacefully slumbering on the couch. His quiet snoring already gave it away and it broke her heart. She’d thought he was different, that he cared and wouldn’t think less of her for all her shortcomings. In the end, Chad was right and she was just a failure.

After she had downed one glass of water and got herself another one, she sneaked back into the bedroom, hoping the sadness in her scent wouldn’t wake Joseph up. Moose followed her quietly and jumped up on the bed before Maria even had the chance to close the door behind them. At least the dog didn’t care how bad she was.

She wrapped herself into the blankets on the bed and curled up into a little ball, drifting off into a restless sleep.

***

When she woke up, the fire had died down, but she wasn’t cold, not at all. If anything, she was burning hot. Something was off. Where was Moose? Why was the fire out?

Maria struggled out of the blankets and bed. On shaky legs, she stumbled out of the bedroom and into the equally cold and dark hallway. The only light shining came from the living room. Through the windowpanes in the door to the mudroom and the entrance door, Maria could see heavy snowfall again. Had the storm picked up again?

Despite this, Maria moved forward and entered the living room. A familiar scent crawled into her nose and before she could even fathom where she knew it from, strong hands curled around her upper arms in a tight grip, hurting her. Her heart hammered in her chest when she finally remembered the scent, Chad. What was he doing here? How had he found her? Where was Joseph?

“Did you really think you could hide from me? You are mine, you worthless slut!” he sneered and pulled her toward the front door.

Maria struggled with all her might. She didn’t want to leave. Where was Joseph? What had Chad done to him? Where was Moose? Why did nobody help her?

“Joseph!”

“Scream as much as you want. Nobody cares about you!”

No, it wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. His hands around her arms dug deeper into her skin, meant to leave new bruises after his last ones had just faded completely.

“Joseph!”