UNLOCKING KHAL'S HIDDEN IDENTITY I
KHAL'S POV
I went back to our house, finding the clue of who was my father. I explored every corner of our house, even the basement, but I found nothing. I massaged my head as I looked around. Everything was a mess.
Who is my father? Did he go to my mother after his cruelty? Seems like my mother had a connection to him after that.
I went to the drawer. I found a notebook. My eyes widened when I saw it was my mother's diary. I hurriedly flipped it open. Maybe she wrote what happened to her. I froze when I realized something.
Am I ready to know the exact event of her past? Am I have a strong heart to feel what she felt at that time?
I blew air and suddenly placed back the diary. "I'm not a bad person. Why is it happening to me?"
I closed my fist hardly. I wanted to shout to the world! I am so livid!
Do I have the option? Nothing. I should read the diary to know the truth, or else my mother will be forever disappeared from my life.
I closed my eyes hard and pulled all my strength before I opened the notebook again.
*****
January 14, 199X
Hey Diary,
Today is my 15th birthday! I am so happy that Mom cooked my favorite cookies. She baked a cake and invited all of my friends. We planned to have camping after a day or two. Now, I am playing my piano. It feels so relaxing! Gonna get back to you to write what will happen to the camping.
*****
She seemed so happy on this day. I did not know that she loved to play the piano. I never heard her playing music. Now I know, why there was a piano at my grandparents' house.
*****
January 16, 199X
Hey Diary,
It took us a day to find where to camp. I am so excited! I got my bikini two-piece because there is a waterfall there. Gonna swim!
*****
That's all? She did not write anything important to solve this. It seemed like my mother was lazy writing. Like me, during my high school days, I hated writing, therefore I just listened well to the teacher. A little smile formed on my lips.
*****
January 17, 199X
Hey Diary,
I'm freaking out! Finally! The day has come! We're going on a camp. I will not bring you, Diary. I'm gonna write once I came back.
*****
My mouth barely opened when I flipped the paper. The next page had full of blood. There was no date or no "Hey Diary" as usual greetings. I shut my eyes as the pain covered my chest.
*****
Kareena Writing (Khal's Mother)
I'm sorry Mom and Dad. I can't handle the pain anymore. If I die, there's no pain, no crying. I was raped. He raped me! I am just a little girl. I am 16 years old and sorry if I will cut my life. I can't… I can't… I wanna die!
*****
While reading it, tears were rolling down my cheek. Nothing else had written on this page, but I could feel the pain of my mother. I could imagine her sleepless night. Having nightmares, crying, almost killed her own life.
I should finish reading this. I need to know more.
*****
Kareena Writing (Khal's Mother)
What is his plan for me? I suffered a lot in the pack that captivated me. I survived my slash to my wrist. The week in the hospital was so heartbreaking. Wherever I went, I could feel the abuser's hand traveling to my body.
How can I run from this pain? I wanna die to escape, but how? There is a life inside my tummy. I don't like this. However, I can't blame an innocent life.
I should be strong. I will be brave. I will offer my whole life for my baby.
I love you so much. Please, hear me. I love you. Please don't leave me. I am in charge of taking care of you. I will never be mad at you. You are my strength.
I will call you Khal. It has meaning for me: the king in my castle of love.
*****
I covered my mouth to stop myself from sobbing. Despite my mother's experience. She loved me unconditionally. I touched my chest, massaging it hard as I felt so much pain and love for my mother.
When I was a kid, I was bullied for not having a father. During Family Day, I only had my mother. I was furiously mad at her. She could not tell me where was my father. I scolded her and even talked to her badly.
"I wish you are not my mother!" I could still remember the words I said to her when a couple of kids bullied me again.
Instead of being mad at me for saying those words, she knelt down and hugged me so tight saying, "We don't need him. Our love for each other is enough."
Until I used to it. It was too late for me to appreciate the effort of my mother for going to the Family Day while she was raising me alone. She rejected every man who tried to court her. Always saying, "My son is my everything. He's enough."
I thought she just did not want someone in her life, but one day, I saw her crying while looking out the window, watching his suitor, Gerald, walk away.
After dumbing him? What makes her cry? She chose to push him away. Why was she hurting?
Only to find out, she loved Gerald.
I could not understand. One morning, my grandparents visited us. Grandpa hugged my mother. My shock was undefined when she startled, cried out loud, ran away, and locked the door. I thought they had a fight. Grandma said Mom was scared of men touching her. No matter what she explained to me, I could not understand why.
I realized I was the only man who could touch her. Once a man's hand lay in her, she cried so bad. I wondered how was she at the moment. I saw the fear in her eyes when the pack got her.
When I was calmed down from crying. I continued reading, even though I should expect, I would cry once more at the revelation of her suffering.