Chapter 190

Elena:

“We didn’t think that he was being honest when he told us that you were alive. The fact that we believed that you were dead…”

“Why didn’t you come looking for me?” I asked, stopping my father. His eyes dropped to the ground and for a moment, I had to admit, I regretted the fact that I asked. Seeing his pain in his eyes told me that there was more to the story than I knew. But even so, I knew that nothing was going to explain what I went through. I lost my life because of them.

“We did, Elena. For months, we searched for you. Konstantin convinced us that you were dead. He wouldn’t allow us to see your body. But he showed us your pictures, he showed us your grave, and it was then that we left.” Mom said, choosing to be the one to answer. “I know that you have been through a lot…”

“You know nothing of what I’ve been through.” I said, looking at my brother and sister. “I lost my life and everything because of all of you. You chose to sacrifice me to a monster, and not once did you stop to think and consider the pain that I went through. You could have pressed on him, you could have…”

“I know, baby.” Mom said, and I shook my head, taking a step back.

“I am not your baby. I am not your daughter. That Elena, that innocent girl who wanted nothing more than to go to college, to go to dance, to laugh, to fall in love. I was raped, day after day, night after night. He had men taking me…” I said, taking a deep breath as I knew to choose my words. The boy that they called my brother was playing in a distance, but my sister, who they changed her name to Yasmin, had her eyes on me. Tears formed in her eyes and I shook my head. “I was abused for years over something that I didn’t do. Neither one of you would know what I went through, nor can you imagine what I went through.”

I looked back at the house as the door opened. Natasha’s eyes met mine and she nodded in assurance, silently letting me know that she was there if I needed anything. I turned to my parents and sister, my eyes couldn’t even glance down at the boy. I didn’t even know his name nor did I bother to ask. I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to see the happiness that they all lived through while I was living in pain and misery because of their mistake.

“If we could give you those days back, Elena, we would have. But this is something that we can’t do…”

“Then you may proceed to live your life as you did. Believe that I was dead, believe that he buried me, that he would even give me a grave, because trust me; Konstantin would have done everything but honor my death with a damn grave. He would have thrown me in the deepest pits, but he wouldn’t have given me anything to hold onto. He violated me in ways that a girl would be ashamed to speak of or imagine. He had men watching me, and he had men killed after they used me.” I said, taking a deep breath as tears formed in my eyes before I looked at my mother. “Therefore, mother, don’t tell me that you know half of what I’ve been through.”

I looked at Yasmin, my sister, the sister who I gave everything up for to protect. “Because neither one of you would have been able to survive it.”

I took a step back and turned around where Natasha helped me to the house. She closed the door just as a sob escaped my lips, and wrapping her arms around me, she pulled me in for a hug. I buried my head in the crook of her neck. And it was second later when Vladimir walked out of the infirmary, looking as if he had seen a ghost.

“Elena…”

“Tell her parents to leave, Vladimir.” Natasha said, stopping him. “She is going to be fine, but if you don’t want things to backfire more than they already have, just tell them to leave. It is going to be the best option at this point.”

Vladimir didn’t say a word, but I heard the door open before Natasha pushed me away from her arms to look me in the eye.

“I know that my words are going to sound irrelevant to you,” she said, wiping my tears. “And I have no reason to speak to you the way that I am, and I know that you might think that you are alone right now. But each one of us in this house has been through his or her own share of pain. However, you are going to use that pain as your shield, your strength, because God knows that you are both brave and strong, Elena.”

She put her finger under my chin as I tried to look down, wanting to avoid her eyes, and I watched as she shook her head at me. “Regardless of the pain, never, not for a second, lower your head because what you did, you had nothing to do with. You suffered, but you stood. Vladimir fell for you of all the women who are around, first because of your strength, and second, because he saw and still sees a warrior that even you might know that you are.”

She wiped my tears for me one more time and smiled, encouraging me. “Now, you are going to mourn, to cry, and you might even scream. But when that is done, you have to toughen up. Us Ivanov women are strong as hell, even stronger than our men, they lean on us when they weaken. And God knows that they only do that when the world closes down on them to a point where they can no longer handle. And for that, we have to be as tough as the strongest of mountains.”

“You are to be an Ivanov like all of us, but for that to happen, our last name comes with a burden, a curse, and enemies. You have be able to stand in front of all that to earn it.” She said, looking at the door as it opened, revealing Vladimir. “He is going to need you to be able to stand when he can’t, just as we need them when the world becomes too small for us to fit in…”