Chapter 21 Eiden
Eiden's POV
Honestly, I don't know why I was so happy when I found out I had a child.
When I received news from a rogue about a boy who looked just like me, and I saw him in person to confirm it, I had no other thought than wanting to get to know him.
I was relieved that my ex-mate let me build a father–son bond with our boy.
Every time I look at Liam, I regret not realizing he's my blood too late.
"Can't we turn back time? I want to go back to when Liam was born. I want to hold his little body and help Celeste care for him."
I think about that so often. My chest feels tight. I curse myself for being so cruel to the person the Moon Goddess destined for me.
"I'm sure Benedict wouldn’t mind if I visited their house often to spend time with baby Liam. He's a good and thoughtful guy."
I looked at the photo of Liam and me on my phone. Celeste had taken the picture of us when they stayed over at my house. We were smiling awkwardly, and I still remember how hard my heart was beating.
“We’re like statues.” I chuckled. “Why can’t he smile like me?”
'Yeah, just pray to the Moon Goddess that Liam won’t be a jerk and a player like you when he grows up.' My wolf quipped at me. For some reason, he only remembered bad things about me.
“I’ll advise him not to reject his mate for any reason,” I said.
'I'm sure he wouldn't be that stupid.' My wolf gave me a sneering look. 'He grew up as the child of a rejected mother, even if he did get a good stepfather.'
My wolf was right. Liam would never forget any of that. Thankfully, he doesn’t seem to hate me. Or he might just be forcing himself to accept that I’m his biological father.
I stared at the clear blue sky. A few minutes ago, I had lunch. After finishing my meal, I sat on the porch behind my house, waiting for Celeste's message.
"Have I been good enough for him?" I muttered.
'You've done your best,' my wolf said. I shuddered because he rarely said anything nice to me.
When Celeste’s message popped up. \[Are you free?\] I sat up straight, my heart hammering against my ribs.
\[I'll call you.\] No. I didn't want to just listen to Liam's voice. Face time with him was something I'd been wanting to do for a long time.
I waited anxiously. It seemed like Celeste was convincing Liam to video call me. Now I was taking a risk because Liam didn’t always want to talk to me.
My eyes widened in shock when I saw Liam's face on my phone. Oh, Moon Goddess, I'd scared him.
"Hi, Liam. Good afternoon," I said. My wolf laughed at me. I sounded ridiculously formal, like I was greeting a business partner.
"Hi." Liam waved a hand. He glanced away from his phone several times. He still couldn't meet my eyes for some reason.
“Have you eaten?” I would normally ask Celeste, but since Celeste had texted me earlier that Liam had agreed to talk to me on the phone, I saved that question for him.
“I’ve eaten.” Liam nodded. He glanced at me briefly before dropping his gaze again.
“How’s school?” I didn’t know why my voice didn’t sound enthusiastic, even though I was so curious.
“Everything’s fine,” Liam replied. A small smile appeared on his face. "I draw. The teachers praised me. My friends gave me their snacks as payment for drawing their favorite animals."
“Wow, your drawing skills have been recognized by many people.” I smiled broadly and sincerely. “Do you enjoy drawing for them?”
When Celeste, Liam, and Levi stayed over at my house, I didn’t show them my drawings because I suddenly remembered that there were many I didn’t want to show to others.
“I’m glad they liked my drawings.” Liam smiled broadly. Then his brow furrowed. “But I don’t really like drawing things I don’t want to draw.”
“I know that feeling.” I nodded. Liam stared at me intently, as if we were face-to-face. “Just tell them the truth. Don’t be a people pleaser. You’ll only hurt yourself.”
“Yeah, I’ll try.” Liam looked hesitant. The five-year-old already had a lot on his mind. “Thanks for the advice,” he said shyly.
“My pleasure.” I smiled. It felt good to be able to say something nice to my son.
We talked for half an hour. Often, we didn't say anything, and I struggled to find a new topic.
I continued with my work. I hadn't left my house that day. Working in my study was much more comfortable.
I spaced out all through dinner. The six-seat dining table and the mountain of food on it just made me cringe. I was the only one here.
Yeah… I was fine. Even if I had a girlfriend, it wouldn’t fix the loneliness that’s been stuck with me since I was a kid.
I hadn't had a nightmare in two days, which made me eager to sleep.
I ran on the treadmill for an hour before bed. Being exhausted usually helps me sleep better.
I changed clothes, as they were soaked with sweat. Then I lay down on the bed. It didn't take long for my eyes to close.
"Eiden, run. Run far!"
I jolted at the scream. My eyes flew open, and I quickly stood up, frantically searching for the owner of the voice.
“Why should I run?” I muttered. “Where am I?” My brow furrowed as I looked at the trees and grass around me. “What am I doing here?”
"Eiden. Run. Don't make me regret doing this for you."
I scratched my head. “Who are you? Why should I run? I’m not afraid of anyone.”
I walked toward the trees behind me, which would lead me deeper into the forest. I didn’t even bother wondering why I was here.
I froze when I heard the woman scream again—this time begging for mercy. A familiar, uneasy feeling crept into my chest.
“Eiden.”
My whole body went rigid, my eyes widening like they were about to jump out of my skull.
She crawled toward me slowly. What made my skin crawl was the blood covering her face, hiding her eyes, and the wounds all over her body.
“Go away. Don’t make me regret it.”
I just realized. The woman spoke to me through mind link. She couldn’t open her mouth; I assumed she no longer had a tongue.
I swallowed hard, and my eyes moved wildly. This wasn’t easy. I didn’t know what to do.
“Eiden!”
I flinched when she suddenly shoved me, causing me to stumble back a few steps. I didn’t even realize she had gotten that close.
“Go away!” She yelled at me, and I could see the tears in her eyes.
My feet ran without my will, just doing what the woman said. I didn’t even turn my head. I completely left her there.
“Eiden, you—”
No. I don’t want to hear what you have to say because I know this is just a dream.
I woke up, gasping for air, sweat pouring down my body.
“Damn it,” I hissed. “Why am I remembering that again?” I punched the sheets beside me. “I’d rather dream about being eaten by a tiger or crushed by cave stalagmites.”
The dream always came when I was happy. I felt like I was cursed.