AMBROSE'S POV
"What was that all about, Ambrose?" Logan asked me as soon as we exited Valerie's room, and I bit my nails, feeling anxious for her.
This was the first time I saw that kind of fear in her eyes. It was as if she was afraid of something beyond her control.
"Can we talk once she wakes up? Don't act like you are not worried for her and only care about protocols." I muttered, and Logan looked at me for a few seconds before sighing.
"What do you expect me to do, Ambrose? I am one of her legal guardians. How long has this been going for?" Logan's question was getting on my nerves now, and it took every ounce of patience in me to not snap at him.
I stood from my place, remembering everything that happened on the Ferris Wheel that might've triggered this anxiety attack in her.
Logan said the first time he heard about her attack was when she was six years old and her father left her. This was the second time he was hearing of her having an attack.
It happened right after I asked her for another chance to show her what I feel and how genuine my feelings for her are.
Could it be that she didn't like my confession, or is she scared of love?
She has never mentioned this word even casually. Only Valerie can answer these questions, and as much as I knew she needed rest, I seriously hoped she would wake up soon and clear these things because I was minutes away from losing my mind.
"Do you like her?" Logan placed his hand on my shoulders when I walked to the balcony and looked down, dazed.
"More than you can imagine. You asked me when this started, no? This started when I saw her. I had this strange feeling of attraction towards her. I know it would be hard to believe because she isn't my mate or I don't feel any mate bond whatsoever, but this attraction that I feel for her is stronger than what I felt for my own mate when I met her for the first time," I turned to Logan, whose expression didn't exactly look supportive.
"I tried to avoid it and her presence. But as time passed and I tried to find out more about her because she was the rogue mentioned in the documents, I found myself falling for her before I could control myself and put a pause on it. I know you hate me for that, and I don't blame you. You have all the rights -"
"She doesn't believe in love," Logan's words cut me mid-sentence, and I looked at him, waiting for his explanation.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Just like every other she-wolf, Valerie also dreamt of having a family, a loving husband, and a couple of kids. She wanted a simple life. Usually, she doesn't share these things, but that night when I found her in the middle of the forest on the verge of being violated by the alpha's son and beta of one of the packs, she was high on wolfsbane," Logan said, and I clenched my fists.
I can't even imagine what kind of fate this girl went through to become what she is today.
"That night, she told me some things that she desired in life but never got the chance to. Her dreams were shattered by none other than her family. Her fatherly love was snatched by her when he left her. Her real sister snatched her true mate from her, who rejected her because she didn't turn into her wolf. No one knows anything about her, and the fact alone sends miseries toward her," Logan sighed.
"There have been other alphas and people in these few months of her journey till she reached here who confessed their undying love just because she was beautiful and they wanted to use her. It took her three months to realize what kind of cruel thing this world was before she became what she is today," Logan smiled sadly, and I kept looking at him, wanting to know more about her.
I want to know what kind of pain she went through so that I can love her even more than that. I can't change what happened to her in the past, but I can surely change what will happen in the future.
"There was this one time when one of the alpha's sons proposed to her. I can't reveal their identities because of the protocol. They asked her to join the pack, and she agreed. When I heard about the news, I was shocked because this was the first time she agreed to become a pack wolf again," Logan scoffed.
"Pack wolf, my ass. They just wanted her to be their slave. Apparently, Valerie heard about it too, and on the day of the ceremony, she tried to run away from the pack. However, they caught her and beat her up,"
The more Logan spoke about Valerie's experience, the more I understood why Valerie is always so uptight about packs and pack wolves, and I can't help but curse those alphas who turned her life like this.
"When I reached there to attend her ceremony, I smelt her blood before I heard anything else. You can't even imagine what kind of condition I found her in. She was shivering in the corner with a sword in her hand with 7 bodies at her feet. That was the first time I saw her mass killing like a crazy person, and since then, there has been no turning back," Logan sighed before taking a deep breath.
"It was horrible. That's why I made it my responsibility to take care of her. She might look tough and strong, but she still has an innocent heart that softens for anyone. As much as I am proud of her for keeping her emotions alive, it also scares me at the same time," Logan thinned his lips.
"She has had a tough life," I commented after a long time, and Logan smiled.
"You bet. However, she isn't the only one I am worried about. I also worry about the people she meets and those who piss her off. Just because she is a rogue doesn't mean she has a soft spot for them. She has had her experience with rogues too. If we count the last kill she had a couple of days ago, she has made it to more than half-century," Logan's words caught my attention.
"A kill a couple of days ago? How is that possible? We didn't find any dead rogue apart from the ones we killed," I looked at him, confused.
"I know, right? That's what she has mastered over time. This is a skill even I find strange. She never leaves a trace. If she doesn't show you the evidence of her kills, you will never be able to find out who killed that person and in what way," Logan said, and I was about to ask him to elaborate when we heard some shuffling from inside her room.
We were about to walk to her room to check on her when she walked out, looking at us as if she didn't know what happened.
Was it a way to deal with her stress? Does she use denial to deal with her problems before facing them?
"You scared me," Logan addressed the issue directly, and she rolled her eyes.
"I don't remember the time when I gave you the right to tell a tale about my life's history to anyone," Valerie's eyes were cold, and they looked like they were changing colors to something dark that I haven't seen before, and I could feel Logan's discomfort beside me.
Why was she acting like this? Is she angry about what I said on the ride? Logan has explained to me why she doesn’t believe in things like love and runs away from such related emotions. It was making me skeptical of what she was going to do next.
"It's not the first time I scared you. Big deal?" Her voice was calm again, nothing like a person who woke up after having a severe anxiety attack. There were no traces of her earlier coldness. It was as if she held back after sensing Logan's discomfort, and Logan sighed beside me.
Was it just my assumption that I felt Logan was actually scared of her for a minute? Valerie's eyes went back to normal, and I waited for her to look at me.
"Of course not. You just looked like you would die, and it scared me, but then I remembered you are a devil's spawn. How could you die so easily without making me worry about you?" Logan sighed before he walked to her and held her close to his chest, half hugging her.
"What triggered it?" Logan asked even when he knew the answer.
"Ambrose," Valerie finally looked at me, and I didn't know what to expect anymore.
I just hoped she wouldn't reject me.
"I hope you haven't kissed many girls to blow their minds like this," She said, and I looked at Logan, who looked at her, amused, before shaking his head.
"What do you want to eat?" He went straight to the kitchen, and though he was acting nonchalant, I could see the hurt in his eyes before he turned around.
So my assumption about Logan liking her wasn't really wrong.
"Leave," Valerie looked at me, and the smile on my face froze.
"Leave this whatever idea that's revolving in your head," She turned around and went to her room, and though she didn't say anything directly, I felt rejected.
I followed her inside the room before closing the door.
"Hey! Something urgent popped up! I will be back in 15," Logan shouted before we heard the sound of the door closing.
Fantastic. Now I can talk to Valerie without her becoming shy about anything.
"I am sorry," I said as soon as she sat on the bed.
"I didn't know my confession would trigger the anxiety attack or whatever it was. Please forgive me," I said, and Valerie tilted her head like a predator observing its prey.
This was the first time I was feeling like someone had an upper hand on me, and though I should hate this, for some reason, I liked how she was observing me.
"Forgive me for what I said and what I am going to say. I know you ran away from love because of what happened to you in the past. I can't change your past, nor do I want to interfere with your future, but let me be a part of it," I paused to rephrase it in a better way since I was so bad at these things.
I have never done these things for anyone and was a proper amateur at it, but for Valerie, I was willing to try and do anything to please her.
"These feelings are mine. I don't expect you to reciprocate anything. If you feel uncomfortable around me, say so, and I will not do that, but if you think I will leave you alone after this, and after I realized how strong my feelings are, you are mistaken," I said in one single go and Valerie bent forward, her cleavage showing a bit too much for my liking since my manhood immediately reacted to her.
Damn it! This is not the right time, Cyrus! I snarled inside my head.
'Hey! Why are you blaming me?! These are your emotions! Don't force your lust on me, okay?' Cyrus huffed, and I looked at Valerie, whose gaze turned a bit softer than before.
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