Cure
“Sister, lie down properly in bed,” Leonardo’s voice wakes me.
My body is in an uncomfortable position and it hurts because of it.
“I’ll get up,” I grumble, stretching.
“You didn’t sleep at all, I know,” Leonardo says as he adjusts me in bed. “Sleep, I need to take care of some things.”
I nod and cover myself.
When I wake up again, it’s already eleven in the morning and I feel refreshed.
I get out of Leonardo’s bed and decide to get ready in his room. I take a shower and put on one of his sweatshirts, which is too big for me.
I leave the room distractedly and end up bumping into someone’s chest. Lorenzo catches me before I fall.
“Sorry,” I say, putting my feet on the floor.
“No problem,” Lorenzo replies, looking at the door I came out of. “Did you sleep here last night?”
“Yes,” I say, looking into his eyes. “Do you have a moment to talk to me?”
Lorenzo assesses me and nods. I follow him to his room, at the beginning of the hall.
We go in and I’m not surprised to see his room organized, with nothing out of place.
I sit on the bed and Lorenzo pulls up a chair to sit across from me.
“I haven’t been able to sleep these past few days,” I say, starting with what’s bothering me.
I’m trying to practice what they asked me to do, the trust thing.
“Nightmares?” he asks, and I sigh.
“They’re more memories than nightmares, and when I wake up I feel lost and suffocated,” I explain calmly. “That’s why I went to Leonardo’s room; it seemed safer there than being alone with my thoughts.”
Lorenzo can read between the lines of my words.
“Did you want to get hurt again?” His tone is understanding.
“Yes,” I admit softly. "I feel like I'm losing control."
Lorenzo sits beside me and hugs me.
"I want to go to therapy," I say quickly before I change my mind.
I don't know if going to a psychologist will help me in any way, but I want to try anything that can help me control my mind.
Help me have a normal life.
"I can arrange that for you," Lorenzo says, and I pull away from him to look at his face.
"I want to try it, see if it will help me," I say, and he nods.
"I know a trustworthy person who can help you with your problems," he says, and I smile at him hopefully.
"Thank you, brother," I hug him affectionately.
"I'm proud of you, little sister," Lorenzo says, returning the hug.
Today was a pleasant day.
After lunch, Sandro took me to the shooting range and taught me how to shoot a rifle. The recoil of the gun is strong, and I need to learn to plant my feet firmly so I don't stumble backward after firing.
He also gave me a small revolver and told me to always carry it in my backpack, for emergencies.
Luca and Bruno have dedicated themselves to teaching me how to defend myself; it's part of my agreement with Grandpa, but it also makes the boys feel more at ease.
At the end of the day, I'm exhausted and my body aches from using muscles I didn't even know existed.
Matteo explained that I can't take painkillers because I need to develop muscle memory, and that's how it works for people who train and go to the gym.
That's why almost no one exercises.
The twins Giorgio and Giovanni recommended that I take a hot shower, and that's what I'm doing now.
I let the water relax my muscles and calm my body.
After ten minutes in the hot water, I turn off the shower and wrap my hair in a towel.
I'm putting on my pajamas when the house alarm goes off.
I run to the living room and find Antoni and Angelo at the computer, furiously typing on the keyboard.
My uncles and brothers are armed, and I see Grandpa and Dad enter the room right after me.
The alarm stops ringing minutes later, and my ear is ringing from the loud noise.
“What was that?” I ask, massaging my ear.
“The prisoners’ shed was raided,” Angelo says, and I stare at them confused.
“Prisoners?” I repeat the word with a lump in my throat.
“And was anyone taken?” Aunt Isadora asks, and Antoni nods in confirmation.
“Who?” Dante asks, but Angelo glances at me.
Everyone looks at me, and I cross my arms.
“I’m not leaving here,” I say inflexibly.
“Let her stay; after all, she said she wants to get involved in our business,” Grandpa says, and the boys look at him incredulously.
“Who was taken?” Uncle Massimo asks. “Eloisa,” Angelo replies, and I blink a few times before fully understanding.
Neither of them looks at me, and I feel the need to sit down.
I pull up the nearest chair and sit down quickly.
What the hell did I expect? They're from the mafia.
But Eloisa is family, why would they treat her like this? If I do something wrong, is this what will happen to me?
“Elena,” Vicente calls me, and I raise my hand to him, indicating that I need some time.
“S-she's family,” I say softly. “She made a mistake, but a prisoner?” My voice comes out almost as a whisper.
“She was paying for what she did,” Aunt Andreia replies coldly.
“I know she made a mistake, but this is too much, it's the opposite of what you asked me to believe,” I say confused and stand up. “You said family doesn't hurt, is this what will happen to me if I make a mistake?”
“Elena, you don’t understand,” Giorgio says, and I shake my head, turning away from them.
“What is there to understand in this situation, Giorgio?” I ask, perplexed. “Eloisa may be the worst person in the world, and yes, she should pay for what she did, but she’s still family, and that’s not how you deal with it. Torturing a family member isn’t the solution.”
I run my hand through my hair, exasperated. I need fresh air.
“I need to breathe,” I say and walk towards the exit.
No one stops me from leaving through the door.
I walk to the pool area and sit on the edge, putting my feet in the cold water.
My mind is struggling to process everything.
My family says we protect each other, but to what extent? Where is the limit of that protection? What are the rules for it?
I know Eloisa deserves to go through this hell, but I don’t want her to go through what I went through. She could have been arrested, and maybe that would have made me feel better.
I hear the sound of cars leaving the garage and see three cars passing through the gate.
I don't know why, but something inside me is conflicted.
I'm confused because Eloisa is family and yet she's being tortured?
But if she weren't family, would my thinking be different? Would I still hold the opinion that she doesn't deserve to go through this?
Or does it hurt because this happened to me in my old family?