Never again
It takes me a while to convince myself that I'm neither crazy nor dead.
My relatives told me what happened after Sandro was taken away and that he arrived at the hospital nearly dead.
Nicco, Leonardo, and Ângelo haven't spoken to each other since they arrived.
We all have problems to deal with, traumas that will be difficult to overcome.
"Can I talk to them alone?" I ask, and I don't need to say who I mean.
"Of course, we'll be in the waiting room if they need us," Aunt Andreia says, and everyone leaves, leaving me alone with the four of them.
The silence between us is heavy.
"I think it's silly to ask if you're okay," I say with a weak smile.
Ângelo nods, approaching me and sitting on the edge of the bed.
"We're trying to heal," Ângelo says coldy.
I know a part of them has broken, the same part that was already almost healed inside me.
"I hope you don't blame yourselves for anything that happened, especially you, Nicco," I say, and he looks at me in surprise. "It could have happened to any of the others."
"But it didn't," Nicco retorts, and I see the guilt he carries.
"If it's any consolation, I don't blame you or any of you," I say, even though I know a part of me is still conflicted about this.
Leonardo looks at me seriously; I can't read the emotions in his eyes.
"I want you to know that Edgar is paying for what he did." Leonardo's words carry pure hatred.
The name of that monster sends shivers down my spine, and for a moment, I feel his knife against my skin again.
"May he burn in hell," I say angrily.
"Elena," Angelo says softly. "What happened that day with Edgar?"
I pull my hands away from Angelo's as if I've been shocked.
"I don't want to talk about it," I say bluntly. "And if possible, I never want to hear his name again."
The boys stare at me, trying to see through the barriers I've erected around myself.
"I need to rest," I say, wanting to be alone.
They get the message and leave the room without another word.
What happened to Edgar will be buried deep in my mind, as will the trauma I carry because of Henk and Eloisa.
I wake with a start to the sound of thunder outside.
I see Lorenzo dozing in the armchair next to my bed; he stayed with me after the others went home to rest.
I get out of bed carefully; my leg is covered in a large bandage that covers most of my thigh.
I don't have the strength to step on the floor with my injured leg, so I have to hobble to the bathroom.
It takes me a while to reach the door, and sweat runs down my spine.
I do my business and then look in the mirror, startled by my appearance.
I look like a corpse, dark circles marring my face like bruises.
I try to fix my hair, which looks like a bird's nest.
"Elena, is everything okay?" Lorenzo asks from outside.
I open the bathroom door and look at my brother. He looks at me before hugging me.
"I was so scared," I say, grabbing my brother.
Lorenzo guides me back to bed and lays me down. I cuddle against him until my tears stop and I can go back to sleep.
It's been three weeks since I returned home.
I bought a new cell phone and have been secretly corresponding with Silas; it's helping me.
I told him about the kidnapping and that I'm recovering at home.
My family has been giving me space; they're dealing with Edgar and his connection to the American Mafia.
My brothers come over sometimes to check on me, to see if I'm eating or want to talk.
It's now four in the morning, and I'm sitting on the bathroom floor with the shower running, water running down my back.
I look at the scars on my wrists, the burn marks grotesquely etched into my skin.
I remember my own screams, the pain I felt when my skin was burned.
Elena arrives.
I put my head under the shower, trying to wash the memories from my mind.
When I manage to calm down, I turn off the tap and leave the bathroom wrapped in a towel.
My leg is already healing, and I can walk better every day.
I go down to breakfast and see that the day is still dawning, the kitchen empty due to the late hour.
I make a cup of coffee and sit by the window to watch the sunrise.
I let my thoughts wander as the sun illuminates my skin, staining the sky with beautiful colors.
"Good morning, Elena," Bruno's voice is calm.
I turn and see him with Dante and Nicco, all dressed up and ready for work.
"Good morning," I reply with a slight smile.
Lorenzo and Grandpa join us minutes later, and I decide it's a good time to ask a favor.
"I want to go back to school," I tell Lorenzo calmly. "I don't know if the others want to go back, but I need to get back to my routine or I'll go crazy."
Desperation fills my tone, and I don't care.
"Are you sure?" Lorenzo asks me firmly.
I'm surprised he doesn't immediately deny it, and I consider that a victory.
"Yes, I agree," I say, keeping my tone calm.
"If you want, you can come back today. I can drop you off on the way to work," Lorenzo says, and for a second I wonder if they've swapped my brother for someone else.
I smile and quickly leave the kitchen before he can change his mind.
On my way to my room, I run into the twins, Giorgio and Giovanni, who stop me.
"I'm going back to school," I say excitedly, and I hear a groan from Giovanni.
I know this means they'll be back too.
"I don't want to be late," I say with a smile.
I stifle a laugh so they don't notice and head back to my room.
I get ready as quickly as I can, knowing I'm already late.
I grab the new backpack Nonna gave me a few days ago and run as fast as I can to the entrance.
"If you get hurt, you won't be able to go to school," Matteo says from the edge of the stairs.
"I'm fine, brother," I say, kissing him on the cheek.
"We want to talk to you before you go," Matteo says, holding my hand.
He leads me to the living room, and I see my brothers and cousins in the bedroom.
The others are probably getting up, since they don't need to go to the office today.
"We've been putting this off for a long time, but I want you to tell us about your reunion with Silas," Lorenzo says, arms crossed.