What the heart desires
I glance nervously at my two brothers.
I sense Lorenzo's irritation at the sudden change in our lives.
My older brother lives peacefully, with everything under his control, and I can only imagine what he's feeling with our father's arrival and the growing tension in the Mafia conflict.
Vicente, on the other hand, seems calm as ever, but his eyes can't hide the dilemma he's facing.
I myself don't know if having our father back will be good or bad.
"I want you to stay away from Christopher," Lorenzo orders.
I look at him with a raised eyebrow, wanting a reason other than his being part of the American Mafia.
The boy has been very kind, and yes, I know his family tortured my father, but my family is not an example to judge anyone.
"Elena, for once, listen to us without question," Vicente pleads.
"I can't do this. I won't blindly follow rules without a logical reason," I say simply.
My head starts to throb again, and the peace I'd found minutes ago is already fading.
"What else do you need to hear? That family tortured our father," Lorenzo exclaims, irritated.
"Don't give me that! If you're going to follow the example of families, we'd better isolate ourselves. Or have you forgotten we have Eloisa in our family?" I retort in the same tone as him.
"We're not the Sinclairs," Lorenzo shouts this time, and I flinch.
Loud noises still startle me; people yelling at me send me back to that damned basement.
Vicente notices my hesitation and puts his hand in front of Lorenzo.
"Elena, do what I say, or I'll change your classes so you stay home, and you'll have no reason to go to school," Lorenzo says calmly, standing up.
"You can't do this, you can't dictate who I talk to or not," I say, standing up.
"I can and will if it keeps you safe," he replies angrily.
"I can protect myself, Lorenzo." My words come out louder than I'd like.
"No, Elena, you don't see the situation the way we do," Lorenzo shouts. "They're the fucking American Mafia, they'll kill you if they have mercy."
I take a step forward.
Yes, I'm scared to death, but I won't bow my head. This is my freedom we're talking about.
"Don't do this, don't lock me up," I plead with the last shred of hope.
"If you want to keep studying, stay away from Christopher," Lorenzo finally says, and leaves the room.
Vicente stares at me for a second before following his brother.
I lock the door as soon as they leave and let out an irritated grunt.
Yesterday I so desperately wanted them to be near me; today I'm far from all of them.
I throw myself onto the bed and tightly clutch the arm where the fresh cuts are, remembering Silas and the promises I made to him.
Could everything I experienced with him have been just another of the great lies of my life?
I wanted so badly to find him, to find out why he lied about his death, why he pretended he didn't know me.
I close my eyes, tired, and fall asleep minutes later.
I'm sitting on the edge of the stairs with my backpack on my back. Yesterday, before bed, Dante told me he was taking me to school.
What he didn't tell me is that my brothers were also going back to school.
Sandro hugs me as soon as he finds me; he looks happy.
Leonardo, on the other hand, has an angry expression on his face; I know he hates going to school.
"Come on, I don't want you to be late," Dante says, and we all head to the car.
The ride is silent, but I can see Dante's gaze on me in the rearview mirror.
When we finally arrive, I'm about to get out of the car when my older cousin looks at me.
"I think you remember Lorenzo's conditions," Dante says seriously.
"The unfair conditions based on Chris's last name? Oh, yes, I remember," I say sarcastically.
"This is for your protection, bambina," Dante says calmly.
He's a lot like Vicente, calm and observant.
"I'll remember that, now let me go," I say, forcing the lock again.
Dante unlocks the car, and before I get out, I hear him telling the boys to keep an eye on me.
I find Anabela waiting with a smile. We walk to class together, ignoring the presence of our brothers surrounding us.
The day passes slowly, which makes me happy; I don't want to have to go home so early.
In gym class, for some reason, the boys' schedules and mine overlapped, and we had class together.
The few times I was alone were during class, but all the boys' scrutiny of me was futile, since I didn't see Chris.
Right now, I'm sitting in the bleachers with Anabela; we're talking about extracurricular activities.
"I was thinking about joining the choir," Anabela says, and I agree.
"I think it's a great idea," I reply, since she has a great voice.
"And you, why don't you join me?" he asks, and I can't help but laugh.
"It's a good thing you've never heard me sing," I reply humorously.
Anabela goes back to chatting about other things, but my focus shifts to a figure at the edge of the field.
Even from afar, I would recognize Silas anywhere.
My heart races, and I stand up, making an excuse to Anabela.
I walk over to where Silas is, thankfully out of sight of my brothers.
He seems the same as always, the boy who made me feel good.
"Hello," my words come out as a whisper.
"Hello, Elena," his voice is soft and brings tears to my eyes.
"Do you know who I am?" I ask, confused, since he didn't recognize me at the mall.
"Yes, of course I do," he replies with the same smile that brightened my worst day.
"So why did you pretend not to recognize me?" I ask, wanting to know what's going on. "How are you alive?"
"Because when I saw you happy at the mall, I didn't want memories of the past to come back to haunt you," Silas replies sincerely.
"I missed you, Silas. I watched you die," I say with tears in my eyes.
"You promised me you wouldn't cry," he reminds me fondly.
I reach through the fence that separates the soccer field from the outside.
My arm scrapes against the fence, and I groan as I touch the cuts. Silas notices my discomfort and frowns.
"Roll up your sleeve, Elena," he orders, knowing exactly what he'll find.
I don't try to hide my cuts from Silas.
"What hurt you so much that you resorted to this?" he asks sadly.
"You left, my adoptive parents died, and I entered a new life, one where I only feel more and more hurt every day," I say, unable to hold back the tears.
"I'm back now," he reassures me.
We're silent for a few minutes, until a question comes to mind.
"How did you find me?" I ask, confused.
"It wasn't that hard, especially after you were in the paper with your family," he says, and I remember an article that came out after the accident at Anabela's dance.
"Of course," I reply, as if it were obvious.
But something inside me tells me something is wrong.
"And where's Eloisa? Has she stopped bothering you?" he asks, his face worried.
My sister's name sends shivers down my spine.
"She's at another school, in another country," I say the same thing they told me.
"That's great, I hope to see you again," Silas says with a smile.
"We can meet tomorrow. I can skip school and we can spend the day together," I say, excited at the chance to have a pleasant day with Silas.
"I don't want you to get into trouble," Silas says seriously.
"Nonsense, get my phone number and we'll meet tomorrow in front of the school." My voice doesn't hide the joy I feel.
"Deal, bring a sketchbook and we'll talk about what's going on with you," Silas says with a firm smile.
I wave goodbye to him as the bell rings, signaling the end of school.