Trust
POV: Elena
I'm lying in my room, tired, my body hurts every time I move in bed.
I look at the clock and it's already three in the morning, I don't want to sleep for fear of nightmares.
My grandmother put me to bed as soon as we got home from the hospital, she took care of me like my mother never did and it left me confused.
I'm having new feelings for my family, even though they show me that I can trust them, my mind screams otherwise.
I'm trying to stay awake when the door to my room opens and Lorenzo walks in.
He looks exhausted, his eyes that are usually cold and emotionless are empty and tired.
"You look horrible" I comment and he smiles slightly when he sees that I'm awake.
"Why are you still awake?" He asks me and sits on the edge of the bed.
"I'm afraid to sleep" my honesty shocks us both "What are you doing here?"
He looks at me trying to read my emotions as always.
"I came to see if you were okay," Lorenzo says softly, "But it seems like you're not, do you want to talk?"
My mind screams at me to tell him that I'm okay, but I'm tired of dealing with everything alone. I want to learn to trust them, I want to be helped and loved.
I look down at my hands and squeeze them until my nails dig into my skin.
"I'm afraid of having nightmares, afraid of dreaming about what happened today," I say without looking at him.
Lorenzo takes my hands and opens them. He stops me from hurting myself.
"If you want, I can sleep here with you tonight," he offers, and I look at him in surprise.
Lorenzo has always been very reserved, most of the time acting like a boss or a father. I didn't know that this affectionate side could exist within him.
"I don't want to bother you," I say softly and he smiles.
"For once, we're not fighting, I'm going to enjoy the moment," he says and stands up. "I'll be back in ten minutes."
He leaves the room and I debate in my mind if I really should have done that.
A small step towards trusting them, but it can cost a lot. Letting my barriers down can be painful and I have to admit it's scary.
I get out of bed and walk to the bathroom carefully. My body is killing me with pain since the painkillers wore off hours ago.
When I get back to the room, Lorenzo is already sitting on the bed, he watches me carefully and then takes out his phone and types something.
I look at him, who is now dressed in striped pajamas, and I have to hold back a laugh. I've never seen my brother so slovenly.
A knock on the door distracts me, Lorenzo opens it and I see Matteo outside, he comes in and hands me a pill and a glass of water.
"This is for the pain, Elena," Matteo explains when I cast a suspicious glance at the medicine.
I take the pills and thank him.
"Whenever you're in pain, come to me, okay?" he asks and I nod.
"Words, honey," Lorenzo reminds me and I have to control myself from rolling my eyes.
"Okay," I say to Matteo, but I'm looking at Lorenzo.
Matteo laughs at my attitude and leaves the room.
Lorenzo lies down on the bed and pulls me so that my head is on his chest. At first, I feel tense because he's so close to me, but he starts stroking my head and soon my body relaxes.
I feel sleep taking over me and before long I am almost asleep.
"Forgive me for not being able to protect you, Sorellina," Lorenzo's voice is deep, almost as if he is crying.
"You are not to blame for their actions, fratello, what they call family is not right," I whisper before falling asleep.
I wake up with Lorenzo's arm around my shoulders and his soft snoring in my ear.
I managed to sleep the rest of the night without nightmares, it was as if Lorenzo's authoritative and cold presence intimidated the bad dreams.
I move in his arms to try to free myself and he holds me tighter against him and strokes my head.
"It's okay, Sorella, I'm here," he murmurs still asleep and I feel my heart melt.
I could stay in this moment forever, but I desperately need to go to the bathroom.
"I just need to go to the bathroom," I murmur softly so as not to scare him.
Lorenzo loosens his grip and takes his arm off me. I get out of bed and feel like I've been hit by a truck. My body protests with every step I take.
I do my business in the bathroom and take a shower to start the day. I tie my hair in a side braid and decide to go without makeup today.
Grandma informed me that I wouldn't be going back to school until next week, so I put on a pair of jean shorts and a white long-sleeved shirt.
When I get back to my room, Lorenzo is still asleep. I don't remember what time he fell asleep, so I decide not to wake him.
I go downstairs to have breakfast and meet Luca on the way.
"Good morning, how are you feeling?" His tone shows that he is genuinely concerned for my well-being.
"Good morning Luca, I don't know yet," I tell him sincerely. I don't know how I should feel. There are so many feelings inside me at once that I'm confused.
"It's going to take you time to process everything, sorellina, but we're here to help," he says with a slight smile.
"Thank you, fratello," I say, and he pulls me close, linking his arm with mine.
We walk into the kitchen together and everyone greets us. I see that my cousins and siblings have gone to school since they are not here.
Grandma comes into the kitchen with a plate of pancakes and kisses me on the cheek before taking my plate and serving me.
She fills my plate with eggs, bacon and pancakes.
I look at her with furrowed brows as she does this and I see everyone is holding back laughter.
"You were so skinny and now I'm going to make sure you stay healthy," my grandmother says as she finishes putting my food away.
"I promise I'll start eating better, but I can't eat all of this, Grandma," I say looking between her and the full plate.
She looks confused and then looks at the plate and sees that she really overdid it.
Everyone laughs at the situation.
"Eat as much as you can," she says smiling.
Everyone starts eating and as I push my plate away, Lorenzo walks into the kitchen.
He looks better, more relaxed and rested.
"You woke up late today, Lorenzo," Uncle Massimo jokes with a smile.
"I canceled some meetings so I could stay home a little longer today," he replies, unconcerned.
I give him a grateful look and he nods. The cold brother is back.
"Elena," my Aunt Esther calls, "the boys have business to take care of, so we're going to the mall to do some shopping and get our hair done. Just the girls."
Even though she's just telling me what we're going to do, I still consider the proposal. The mall is very busy and having so many people around can be uncomfortable.
But my relatives are trying to make me fit in with their family. The family I promised to try to be a part of.
"And what time do we leave?", I ask and see his eyes light up with joy.
"As soon as you're ready," Aunt Andreia replies and I nod.
I ask permission to leave the table and go upstairs to my room to get ready. In the hallway, I stop before entering my room.
I look at Eloisa's bedroom door and I haven't asked any of them where she is. I haven't heard anything coming from her room since I got back.
I decide to knock on the door and when I put my fist in it, it opens by itself.
I push the door open and see her room empty. There is no sign that anyone has lived here in the last few days, there is no furniture or anything other than the curtains that close the windows.
"She's gone." Dante's dark voice makes me jump in fright.
I turn to him who is looking around the room.
"What do you mean she's gone?" I ask confused and he enters the room.
"You know we're from the mafia, don't you, bambina?" he asks as he walks to the bedroom windows.
Dante opens the curtains, illuminating Eloisa's empty room.
"Yes, I remember that, but what does that have to do with the fact that Eloisa is no longer here?" My question has a certain urgency.
Maybe I don't want to hear his answer, but I still need to know what happened to Eloisa.
"The main rule of our mafia is to protect the family and what she did was unforgivable" Dante says and my blood runs cold.
"Did you kill her?" I ask in fear.
"Oh my God, no" he answers quickly and I sigh in relief "She is getting her punishment and is no longer part of the family"
"What do you mean by punishment?" I ask confused.
"She is learning to be a better person" Dante says and I realize he is not going to tell me exactly what they did to her.
Part of me still worries about her, but a bigger part hopes she is getting a proper punishment.
I may sound like a monster th
inking this way, but I do not regret it.
"Will she ever come back?" I ask looking at the room.
"No, Sorella, never again," he says with conviction.
How I wish he was right.