Chapter One—What’s in a Name?

A name. Posey Dae.

That was all they left me with.

My parents, I mean. Or at least the people who left me at the fire station seventeen and a half years ago. I assumed they were my parents. All I knew was that there was a man and a woman, and they handed me to the first person in a uniform that they saw. That pesky no questions asked law made it oh so easy to just leave me behind. But that was a long time ago. I was over it.

That was my mantra.

I pulled at the bottom of the sweater I was in, and I clicked the heels of my Chucks together as I sat in a moving car. The ring I had on my index finger was almost an insult to see.

I looked forward at the back of my companion’s head. I knew the driver. Not well. He was my new foster dad. Patton. He was nice enough. The man was a little over fifty, like his wife Candy. They already had two foster kids under ten years old. So I guess not all parents think more than one is too much.

The car stopped. “You feeling okay, Posey?” Patton asked as he looked at me through the rearview mirror. We were at a red light. To my left was the private school I’d be finishing out my senior year at. Just the last semester, because I must have been a murderer in a past life.

“Yeah.” I forced a smile. “Just didn’t sleep too much last night. I caught an episode of 'MasterChef' that had a snake on it and it just freaked me out.”

He laughed. “Shifty bastards.”

“Snakes or the people on 'MasterChef'?”

Patton shrugged. “Both.”

The next smile from me was real as I looked out the window. The car was moving again, and I heard thunder crack above us. It was January in the east most side of Maine. We might as well have been in Vermont.

The closer we got to the house, the more nervous I was. I shouldn’t be. I met Patton and Candy plenty of times over the last couple months. That was when my other foster parents decided that they couldn’t handle me anymore.

I wasn’t the most well-behaved person, but I was far from a monster. My grades were all right, never been arrested, only snuck out to go and read in the park. No drugs, drinking, boys. All in all, I was a model teen. But that was still too much to add on to a house that was expecting a newborn.

I had been with Morgans for three years. I had my very own room from the start, and they always treated me well. I loved them, and I was very convinced that they loved me too. That ended thirteen weeks, four days, and six hours ago. They told me that Mrs. Morgan was pregnant. I was very happy for her, since they’d been hoping for a baby for the entirety of their fifteen-year marriage. But what I didn’t know—and what they swore they didn’t until they really thought about it—was that a teenager and a baby would just be too much to handle. So off I went. I hadn’t been booted from a home in years and all it left me with was bitterness. It didn’t help that I’d been sure I was getting adopted. I’d heard them talking about it a few times. Whispers about paperwork and a surprise. I guess I’d never know now.

Patton pulled into the driveway of his modestly sized home and I took it in for the first time. It looked nice. Three levels. The paint on the outside was a mint greenish color that was mixed with grey brick. The steps led up to the middle level where I was told the kitchen and living room were. There were two very climbable looking trees in the front yard that I intended on testing out just as soon as I could.

Patton sighed and looked back at me. “Ready, kiddo?”

I nodded.

Most of my things were already here, but I had a few bags with me. I grabbed them and Patton immediately took one from me. I thanked him and he led me to my bedroom.

It was upstairs. It was the only bedroom up there and they said it used to be for storage. But at least they cleaned it out for me. The only things in it were the boxes that had all of my earthly possessions in them, and the furniture that was bought just for me.

Patton set my bad on the bed. “Well, what do you think?”

I looked around and tried hard not to show on my face how all the pink in there was almost burning my eyes. Everything. The walls, the dressers, the bedding, hangers. But they got it all for me and I was grateful that they cared enough to do it.

“I love it,” I told him. “Thank you so much for all of this.”

He waved his hand before he combed his fingers through his short brown hair. “Think nothing of it. We just want you happy. I know this semester is gonna be rough on you. So anything to ease your way, let us know.”

I nodded and thanked him again.

“Candy and the kid should be back soon.” He rubbed his hands together. “Pizza and giant cookies await. I’ll give you some time to settle.” He started walking. “If you need me, I’ll be in the kitchen. Not eating those chips that I’m not allowed to have.” He closed my door on his way out.

I sighed and sank to the bed. My feet hung off of the edge an embarrassing amount. I wasn’t a tall girl. Five-two, and it made me look just a little heavier than I was. The way I liked to describe it was a few pounds over curvy. So, I was pretty okay with my body, and the extra weight I carried was in good enough places that I didn’t mind it.

The rest of my features were a little hard to pin down. My hair was long and a color I didn’t know the name of, so I just called it dark blond. It was a little light brown, a little blond, a little gold-ish in certain light. My eyes were lapis blue and my face had a splattering of freckles, a couple shades darker than my fair skin. It wasn’t enough to be prominent. You would have had to have been within three or four feet of me to even see them.

Since I had some time, I decided to start unpacking. Clothes went into my drawers, freeing up my closet for whatever I needed it for. It took only ten minutes for my clothes to get put away and then I was left with very little to do. I loved reading, but I didn’t own more than a handful of books. My former foster mother didn’t want piles of books around her house, so they got me a tablet for my birthday. It contained all of the wonderful worlds I lost myself in.

I had a few pictures of me and the family that I just lost, but I didn’t want them up. I didn’t even know why I took them. There wouldn’t ever come a day where it didn’t hurt to see them.

What I was still debating was if I was going to keep wearing the ring. The one my foster mother gave me on my sixteenth birthday. It was a sapphire and it was stunning. The jewel was round, and the silver band was made to look like two vines. Four little leaves with diamonds in them. I remember when my foster mother gave it to me. I was so sure that she loved me then. But oh well.

I only had one box of knick-knacks and stuffed animals and I still wasn’t sure if those were going up. Maybe if I got bored later. All in all, I didn’t really own much. Curse of a foster kid.

There was only so much time wasting I could do before I needed to go downstairs and join my new family. I was waiting on the sound of the garage opening before I left. Not that I didn’t want to be alone with Patton, but I was trying to avoid contact with them as much as I could. Contact meant they would get to know me. And getting to know me might lose me a home. It has before.

I took my shoes off and set them in the corner of the room, and then I started folding up the empty boxes. Those went in the corner too. My empty suitcases went on the shelf in the closet and I was left with nothing to do. I paced. Then I paced some more. Then I lay in my bed, hoping sleep would come.

It didn’t.

Ten minutes into my fake nap, I heard the family come home. There were excited screams from the kids as the smell of pizza wafted through the house. I gathered my courage and went to join them.

There was a little hall and a ledge next to the stairs that allowed me to see the kitchen before I was actually at the top of the stairs. Candy was placing three large pizzas on the table as children ran around her. Patton had the cookie boxes in his hands and he held them out of reach of the children.

“How was she?” Candy asked her husband in a hushed tone.

I ducked back behind the wall before I could be seen. My back was against the wall and my breathing halted without my permission.

Patton sighed again. “Well, she was okay. Sad, but okay.”

There was a pause. “I just can’t believe they would do that to her. She’ll be eighteen in less than six months. It was nothing short of cruel not letting her stay. At least so she could have graduated with her friends.”

I didn’t have friends.

“I know,” Patton responded. “But at least she’s trying to have a good attitude. Not a lot of girls in her shoes would be doing the same.”

“More of a reason for me to be pissed at those—”

“Candice,” he laughed. “Little ears.”

She laughed too. “Sorry. Those jerks. She’s a good girl. She deserves better.”

“And we’ll give her better.”

I didn’t want to listen anymore. I didn’t want pity and I didn’t want them to try and make up for sins committed by others. I just wanted to finish school and make a life for myself. One that no one could take from me.

I faked a sneeze and started walking. It was more than enough warning for them to stop it with the chatter of the broken girl. Sure enough, they were quiet as I came down.

“Hi, Posey.” Candy smiled and came over for a hug. Her blonde hair was tied in a bun, but I still got a whiff of the strawberry shampoo she used. It was pleasant.

“Hey, Candy,” I said as we broke away. I looked down at the kids who were drooling at the idea of the cookie in Patton’s hands. “Big day?”

“Ugh,” she huffed. “You have no idea. Gilly—” she fake glared at the six-year-old orange haired girl “—decided that she would color her shoe laces with a sharpie and she missed.” The girl’s hands were black. “And Archie—” she shot the eight-year-old boy the same look “—well, he ate himself sick on marshmallows this morning. But we’re all good now. You?”

“I’m good.” I smiled at her.

Archie walked up to me, and tugged on my hand. I glanced down at his chocolate colored eyes as he pleaded with me. “Do you think you can get Dad to give me a cookie?”

The boy had tanned skin and black hair, almost to the bottom of his ears. It was hard to tell just what ethnicity he might be. Not like the little ginger whiter than the day is long. He seemed to be of Indian decent with something else mixed in that I just couldn’t figure out. The Thunes either. He was left in a store, wailing away in his car seat. They had to guess his birthday when they first got him, and they were kind enough to not tell him the ugly truth of his past.

Both Gillian and Archie were former foster kids. Gillian they got when she was six weeks old, and Archie when he was a year. They’d since been officially adopted. The Thunes couldn’t have children of their own, so they started fostering. They had a twenty-five-year-old son that I’d yet to meet. They adopted him when he was only four. The rest of the kids they fostered tended to be older, thus not getting adopted. Not because the Thunes wouldn’t have, but because they always wanted it to be their choice.

“Dunno about that, buddy,” I said with my hands on my hips. “Pretty sure your dad wants them all to himself.”

“Muah?” Patton said in a high-pitched and overly dramatic voice. “Never. I don’t even like cookies.”

Archie narrowed his eyes at him. “I don’t buy it.”

“COOOKIE!” Gilly growled.

“After dinner,” Candy said in a this is over tone.

We sat around the table together for our first meal as a family. Well, my first meal as a part of their family. They’d been together for years.

It was comfortable, eating with them. I wasn’t sure it was going to be, but they were kind and they didn’t push me to share what I felt. Ten points to Gryffindor on that one.

“Are you excited about school?” Gilly asked between bites. “You get to meet a bunch of new friends.”

I faked enthusiasm. “I can’t wait.”

“Oh,” Candy said like she was just entering the conversation. “I have your uniform in the car.”

My face sank. “Uniform? I have a uniform?”

She frowned sympathetically. “I thought I told you before. Sorry.”

Fantastic. I’d never been to a private school before; I didn’t even think about uniforms. All I could do was hope it wasn’t too uncomfortable.

When dinner ended, the kids descended on the giant cookie like vultures. I managed to get one piece but the kids were insane. I didn’t mind so much. They seemed happy and I wasn’t the type to wish for less for others just because I was miserable.

After the kids went to bed, I went to my room to get everything organized for school. I was starting on a Thursday because life wasn’t fair. Candy just wanted me to get situated as quickly as I could. Maybe she thought I should be there as much as I could for my last semester.

I had a purple backpack and a couple bags of supplies that Candy picked up for me the day before. The school colors were black, white, and purple. She said that the rules were that I had to always wear the black skirt, but my shirt could be any of those colors. It just needed to be a button up. Oh, and I had to wear a tie… because that was fair. At least I was allowed to wear whatever shoes I wanted.

The skirt, I almost burned when I saw it. Pleated of course, and when I tried it on, it barely hit the middle of my thighs. The shirt was all right. It clung to all my curvy parts in a way that I didn’t totally hate. So I guess I could suck it up for a few months.

I was working on the tie when there was a knock on my door. I told whoever it was to come in.

The door opened, and Candy was the first one in, Patton was right behind her. She had a little box in her hand with pink wrapping paper and ribbon that was a dozen colors.

Candy laughed at me. “Oh, honey. That’s not how you tie that.” She shoved the box at Patton and walked over to me, taking over in my horrid attempt to tie a tie.

“I don’t even get why they want the girls wearing these,” I complained.

She smiled as she tied it for me. “I haven’t a clue why they do it. I thought it was stupid when I had to wear ‘em.”

Patton was looking at her with the kind of affection that people go to their grave wishing they felt. If only she could have seen the look she was getting. “I think you looked cute in your tie.”

She rolled her eyes. “Like you ever noticed.”

“Of course I noticed.”

She shook her head and looked up at me. “Don’t listen to him. He was too busy with his football crap to ever notice me in school. Always with that game…”

“How could I not notice the girl next to the stands, pouting that she had to stay until her little brother’s game was over.”

She turned to him. “I wasn’t pouting. I was just reading an upsetting book.”

“For a year?”

“Maybe!” She faced me again and finished with the tie. “Perfect. Did you see what I did?”

Sort of. “Yeah.”

Patton moved forward and handed the box back to Candy, who in turn, handed it to me. “We thought you could use this. You’re not really allowed to have it in school but all the other kids do.”

“Thank you,” I said as I took the box. I opened it and left the torn paper on the bed. Then I lifted the lid off. “Oh my god. This is mine?”

“Yes” She nodded with a smile. “We already set it up with everything you need. Our numbers are in there…” She went on as I examined the brand-new fancy pants-y cell phone they just gave me. I’d never had my own phone before, and this one was the nicest I’d ever seen.

“This is great,” I told her. “Thank you so much.”

She looked happy to have pulled a smile from me. “I’m glad you like it. We were a little squirmy on the idea of you being out of the house in a new town without them. I know you have your bike but still…” She frowned. “We just want you safe.”

I thanked them another few times as I started fiddling with my iPhone. It was just so pretty. They even loaded a few games onto it for me.

“We’ll let you get to bed,” Candy said. “Big day tomorrow. Get some rest.”

We all said goodnight and they left me in my new room.

I took the purple tie and put it with my uniform. Then I changed into sleep shorts and a tank top before I crawled into bed.

I decided not to be terrified of what was coming tomorrow. New people in a new school in a new town. I shouldn’t have been so scared. If I just kept my head down, minded my own business, then maybe I’d be okay. I didn’t need friends that I would just lose when I graduated in a few months. I wouldn’t have an issue not getting attached to people. They didn’t get attached to me either. I was fine with that. People only threw you away when things got complicated.

I didn’t know if I could survive being thrown away again.