CHAPTER THREE—LORELEI VAUSS

The shuttle ride out of the Qeteshi orbit was a somber and turbulent one. We broke through the cloud cover at top speed, jostled violently where we were strapped into our chairs. I was queasy—in fact, I had been all morning—but I attributed it to my grief. And the bumpy ride in the shuttle was only exacerbating the problem.

Once we’d reached the tropopause, everything began to smooth out. Higher and higher we climbed, until the blue and white of the planet’s atmosphere gave way to the endless black of space, spotted like an exotic cat with speckles of starlight.

As we continued our smoother course to the Atria, I unbuckled myself from my chair and moved slowly through the cabin to where Mireena sat with her daughter, who was turned to peer out the window in sullen silence.

“May I?” I asked, gesturing to the chair across from Mireena.

“Of course.”

I took a seat and tried not to think of Calder. I did my best not to look back, but the further away I moved from him, the more it felt as though my heart strings would snap in half. I looked back, and there was a look of such raw vulnerability on my face, I thought I might drop to my knees in the dirt, or else run to him and never leave his side again.

But my job was not finished. Not nearly.

“We tried to get Teldara Kinesse and Ciara Zehr back,” I began, “but we were unsuccessful.”

“Yes,” Mireena confirmed, shifting in her chair and crossing one lithe leg over the other. “I read your report.”

“I would like to ensure that the Echelon continues to actively pursue their retrieval,” I asserted, mustering as much confidence as I could. I needed to be the voice of those lost women; I owed it to them to do everything in my power to bring them home.

“Of course,” Mireena confirmed. “We do not deal lightly with kidnappers. I’ll have you brief a specially appointed task force that will take over the investigation. I assure you that I, and the rest of the Echelon, deeply appreciate everything you’ve done to return these women to their homes.”

I proffered a thin smile and inclined my head, attempting to be gracious. “There is one more thing.”

Mireena waited with calculating patience, until I was simply forced to continue. “The King needs his coffers refilled.”

Mireena canted her head to the side and blinked prettily, as though to ask, how exactly is this my problem?

I went on: “The King spent a great deal of money buying us back from the slavers. I promised him that the Echelon would not allow them to be bankrupted for our sake.”

I watched Mireena as she ran her tongue slowly over her crimson lips. “I do not think that it was wise of you to make promises you were not sure that you could keep.”

I felt my face flush. “Please,” I said, “I cannot be the reason that they are broke.”

Mireena gave a wave of her hand, dismissive. “They don’t need the credits. They aren’t even trading on a global scale, let alone an intergalactic one.”

“But what if that changes?” I asked. “What if they advance, and they need that money? What if—”

“They are centuries away from making the kind of technological advancements that would necessitate the replenishing of their coffers.”

“But…The technology in the spire…”

“Suggests only that their species was once capable of great advancement. But the Qeteshi, now, are a primitive people. You have seen how they live: fire pits and stretched canvas. Their problems would be all but eliminated if they could centrally heat their domiciles. But they haven’t even gotten that far yet. Lorelei, I understand you want to make good on your promise, but—”

“With all due respect,” I said, trying to cultivate all of my courage, “that money brought your daughter back to you. You, personally, owe that King everything.” I locked my eyes on hers but could not read her expression. A long silence lapsed between us, until she heaved a sigh through her prettily flared nostrils.

“Very well,” she conceded. “I will repay the debt.”

I smiled, feeling as though a great weight had been lifted. “Thank you. Thank you—I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it.”

She gave a wave of her hand. “Think nothing of it. Ultimately, it’s a drop in the Echelon’s considerable financial bucket.”

I leaned back in my chair and watched Tierney peer out the window into the endless black of space. Behind us, the planet of Qetesh was receding. I did not want to sit where I could see it; I did not want to think of everything I had left behind.

~ * ~

When the shuttle docked in the belly of the Atria, my heart dropped like a stone into my stomach. I wasn’t sure if I regretted my decision, or if I was simply worried about what my parents would say to me when I saw them again. I expected a public admonishment or a stern talking to, at the very least. But it was the look of abject disappointment that I was not prepared to stomach.

And I did not have much time to think about what I might say to them, because when the shuttle doors opened, I could see the faces of my parents from where they stood, several meters away, waiting on the cold floor of the hangar bay. They had been sitting on a few crates, waiting for me, no doubt. I had no idea how long they’d been there, but their brows were knit with worry.

If their expressions laid me low, then the fact that they ran up to me and drew me into their arms utterly broke my heart.

“My God, Lorelei,” my father said, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “We were worried sick.”

They knocked the air out of me with the strength of their embrace. “I’m so sorry,” I said, because it was all I could think to say. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“Shhh,” my mother whispered, kissing my face. “It's all right.” And that is when I broke down. The shield I’d held so firmly in place throughout the course of my journey was utterly shattered by my mother’s instant forgiveness. She wasn’t angry with me for being stupid and reckless, she was grateful that I had returned, she was grateful I was alive. I wasn’t in trouble: I was welcomed with open arms.

“Are you all right?” My mother asked at last, holding me at arm’s length?

“Are you hurt?” My father chimed in.

“What did they do to you?” Ah, so they’d heard about the Keldeeri.

“Are your friends all right?”

“How did you get away?” The questions were coming in rapid fire, and I didn’t know how to answer any of them. I was still stunned by the emotional outpouring, and I could feel how wet my face was from the excess of tears.

After a moment, Rebecca Quimby walked over to me, and inserted herself gently into our little reunion bubble. “Excuse me, Mr. And Mrs. Vauss,” she said, lifting a hand to tuck an errant red curl behind her ear. “We need to take Lorelei to the medical wing. Just to be sure that she is as healthy as we think she is.”

“Yes, of course,” my father said, giving my arm a squeeze before letting me go entirely.

“Don’t worry, she'll be home with you again in an hour or so.”

“We’re just so glad to have you home, Lore,” my mother said, as they withdrew from me and turned to each other, holding onto one another as though they were keeping each other standing upright. They looked like they'd aged decades in the collection of weeks that I’d been gone.

Weeks. Had it really only been weeks? No—longer. A month, maybe two? I blinked, dazed, as Rebecca Quimby pulled me away from my parents and led me out of the hangar bay.

She was saying something to me as we walked, but I was still trying to figure out exactly how long I’d been gone. I had completely lost track of time when I was on Qetesh with Calder. It couldn’t have been that long. Right? My nails were in dire need of manicuring, my hair…Oh, yes, my hair needed a trim. And the last time I had my period was—

I stopped dead in my tracks, and I could almost feel all the blood drain out of my face.

“Lorelei?” Rebecca said gently, turning to face me in the hall. It was a wide and busy hall that connected the hangar bay to the rest of the ship; people were brushing past us on either side. It was a very inconvenient place to be rooted in place.

“Lorelei, what’s the matter?” Rebecca gripped me by the elbow and led me to the side of the hallway so that people could rush past unimpeded by my statue-like presence.

“I just realized…” I looked up into Rebecca’s face, then, and she had this strangely knowing smile on her face.

“Yes?” She urged.

“I…I think I need to take a pregnancy test.”

She gave a slow nod of her head, a smile blooming on her face, and tucked my hand into the crook of her elbow. “They’ll take care of that for you in the medical wing.”

“But…But I thought…”

I let Rebecca start us moving again; my surroundings were a blur around me. How could this have happened? Stupid, Lorelei: it was no mystery how babies were made. And Calder and I hadn’t exactly been responsible. But I suppose part of me just thought it wasn’t possible. I had been amongst inter species couples and not a single one of those unions had born any fruit. I thought perhaps it wasn’t possible.

No, that wasn’t it—I wasn’t thinking anything at all. I when I was with him, I was completely outside of myself, a woman possessed by the strength of her own desire. When I was with him, I was only with him. In that moment. Us. Together. I had no head for the future or the consequences of our love.

“You thought…?” I realized I hadn’t said any of that aloud to Rebecca, and she was still just waiting for me to finish my sentence.

“I thought it was impossible.”

“I assure you,” she said, “it is not.”

I looked at her as we walked, and she opened a door for me, that lead out of the connection to the hangar and into the Atria proper. Home. I was finally home.

It occurred to me only then that it was rather a strange thing, for an Ambassador to be taking the time to escort me to a doctor. I furrowed my brow and withdrew my hand. “Why did they send you to bring me to a doctor?”

Rebecca sighed, and moved past me to sit on one of the metal benches that lined the walkway. We were on one of the lower levels of the Atria, but when we moved toward the far side of the walkway, there was a railing that allowed us to look down at the promenade, and up to the glass domed ceiling and a view of the stars. The bench she chose was sequestered in a corner, without a view, and without much of a chance of anyone happening upon us.

I knew the Atria well, but even I had not spent much time in this section of the ship. It was a sort of servants’ quarters section: the people who worked in the kitchens, the people who worked in offices at the front desks, the mechanics, and so on. It was quiet and plain, and it was nice to be secluded in such a confusing moment.

“Mireena suspected your condition,” Rebecca explained as I took a seat beside her. “I see that she guessed at it even before you did.”

“She knew?” I asked, shocked. “But how?”

“She has an eye for these sorts of things,” Rebecca said, crossing one leg over the other and lacing her fingers together at the cap of her knee. “It is her business, after all. One of the primary objectives of the organization she runs is to keep the populations of various species intact. Procreation is her business, and she knows it well.”

I was nodding, I think, but I was still reeling. And then Rebecca was saying my name. “Lorelei?” And again, “Lorelei?”

“Hm?”

“So she sent me so that you were with a friend when you were examined.”

“A friend?” I hardly knew the woman. I was surprised that she had remembered my name. But it occurred to me that, perhaps, she hadn’t, and Mireena Mafaren had fed it to her when she realized that she needed something from me.

“Well,” Rebecca amended, “someone who would convince you to do what was in everyone’s best interest.”

“And that is…?”

Rebecca sighed, and turned to face me, taking my hands in hers. “I was the first woman to mate with a Qeteshi,” she said. I was staring into her face, hoping that he would have some snippet of wisdom for me. “And I loved him well—I still do.”

“Ro Petathera,” I said, and she nodded.

“Yes. We are still together, he and I. He is my partner, my lover, my greatest friend.” She sighed. “But not, I am afraid, a father.” She looked away from me, then, toward the railing, and got a sort of faraway look on her face. “I was pregnant, several times in fact. But…” She shook her head. “I miscarried a few times. And brought one stillbirth into the world. Ours was a beautiful baby, but…Too beautiful for this world, I suppose.” She swallowed hard, and I could tell that even now, after several decades, it was still difficult for her to discuss. “But I was the one who showed the Echelon that procreation between our species was possible. Even still, after all this time, there has yet to be a live birth from a union between the Qeteshi people and a woman of another species. We have tried with humans, Euroax, and Pyrtans, and still…Nothing.”

She turned back to me then, and her eyes were tinged with a strange sort of desperation. “I would never presume to tell you want to do with your own body. I only want you to remember what a miracle this conception is. And what it could mean for the Qeteshi people if you birthed a whole new species.”

She rose slowly to her feet and held her hand out to me. I took it, and she led me gently forward so that we could continue on our way. “There is one other woman like you,” she said, as we passed through a set of double metal doors with porthole windows in them. “And I wanted you to know about each other so that neither of you feel pressured to do anything that is against your conscience. I know how isolating this moment can be—but you are not alone. You have an entire intergalactic organization here to support you, no matter what you decide.”

She led me into the Medical Bay and sat me down in a seat in a waiting room that was aglow with overhead lights and the subaqueous glow from inside an exotic fish tank. It looked like any waiting room, with ugly chairs and muted touch screens for our entertainment. “I just want to say, for my part,” Rebeca said, after she sat me down again, “that you have shown your bravery in more ways than one throughout the course of this journey. And should you want to keep this child, I know you will rear a proud and stunning Qeteshi alongside your noble husband.”

My heart flipped over in my chest when she said the word “husband”, and I realized that part of my haze had been how desperately I wish Calder were here with me now to hear this news.

“I will come by your parent’s house tomorrow morning,” Rebecca said, “to see how you are.”

“Thank you, Rebecca.”

“Truly, it is my pleasure. If I can be of any help to you, don’t hesitate to get in touch.” There was a physician dressed in white scrubs clutching a data pad to her chest, smiling at me from across the room. Rebecca nodded in her direction. “For now, I leave you in capable hands.”