Chapter 101—Rain
Email date: 7/14/2640.
From: phantombornofcuriosityandblazingsaddlesandramennoodleslurkingoutsideyourdoor@iamtooprettytodie.com Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hey.
Sorry for the late reply. I’ve been too busy putting both feet in shit. So I have a little problem. Our two favorites are where they need to be, but that evidence I planted? It was stolen by some naked blue chick with mirror eyes before Maxx woke up!
I AM SO FUXXED.
Soon, I will be no more, nothing but a blush and a dirty memory from my favorite pink-haired pilot…and a rage-filled pain in my king’s ass.
Will you be coming to my funeral?
Axxel.
Email date: 6/1/2640.
To: phantombornofcuriosityandblazingsaddlesandramennoodleslurkingoutsideyourdoor@iamtooprettytodie.com From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Re: Hey Hi Axxel, …O…h dear. I may have signed up my favorite space captain up for the same sh…o…w. Do you think we can come up with a way for them to hitch a ride there together?
P…O…P.
Email date: 6/1/2640.
To: phantombornofcuriosityandblazingsaddlesandramennoodleslurkingoutsideyourdoor@iamtooprettytodie.com From: [email protected] Subject: Re: Hey Hi Axxel, You’re welc…o…me. 😊 I enjoy hearing from you too much to mind your thousands of thank-yous.
I p…o…p bubbles, i.e. destroy hacking attempts in my spare time.
I’ll have to look into this sh…o…w.
Email date: 6/1/2640.
From: phantombornofcuriosityandblazingsaddlesandramennoodleslurkingoutsideyourdoor@iamtooprettytodie.com Subject: Hey.
Hi Rain, I just wanted to once again tell you thank you for everything you’ve done for me, Maxx, and the entire species of Xenoxx. I know I’ve thanked you already at least a thousand times, and I can’t promise I’m done yet. I hope you don’t mind.
When you’re not saving species and reading never-ending thank-yous from me, what else do you do? I hope you don’t mind my nosiness either.
What do I do, you’re probably not asking? I do really stupid things like sign my king up for season one of a reality dating show called Alien Love Paradise so he can finally find a wife and be less…Maxx.
RIP to me when he finds out. Or if he finds out. Maybe with a little elbow grease, he won’t. Maybe I’ll plant some evidence or something and hide my digital trail to make it look like it wasn’t me and then plead stupid.
Thoughts? An extra shovel to dig my own grave with?
Axxel.