Chapter 82

TO LET GO

The rains were heavy causing a little flood in the compound. Obi watched her cousins and other children run around naked singing and dancing under the heavy down poor. The trees and flowers swished and wavered in the air and the winds caused fruits to fall. She was concerned when the children played under the coconut tree because she was afraid of its fruit landing on their heads.

It had been up to four months since Obiefune left for his book review. It turned out that there was much work cut out for him than he imagined. Obi often spoke over the phone with him especially when he wanted to talk with the boys. Chioma had grown busy with preparations for her traditional marriage which was coming up next month.

Tobe had begun to process his results for service after the strike delayed him for about three months. The girls grew tired of staying at home and Obi had to encourage them to start working in her husband's hotel just to keep them busy. Everyone was elated when the strike was called off, most especially Mr. Igwe.

They spoke with barrister Daniel immediately who insisted that they wait till Obiefune returns before they proceed with the contest.

Obi had gone with her family to visit her father soon after, they had planned on staying for a day but ended up staying for a week. Everyone else mingled freely with her half -sisters and they were very fond of the twins.

She rarely spoke with Janet and her other sisters because she always locked herself in her room. Tobe was the one who forced her to move around often. Her father did well to entertain the children and her siblings with stories that were very amusing. Everyone else seemed happy except Obi and she didn't know why.

Chioma had advised that she takes a break from their state which she did, hoping it would brighten things up. Her husband's cologne and her mother's cream were placed in her box even though she didn't use them.

Obi often cried when she saw how things had changed and wished that maybe she could have changed the past. It was difficult seeing Janet and her father so happy with her children and her siblings and she often wished it was her mother instead.

On one of the occasions Obi had decided to prepare food in the kitchen after she assumed everyone else had gone out. She had finished cooking when she realized that there was no pepper. She sought pepper in the kitchen but had no luck. She sat down in the kitchen and cried while staring at the food because she was very hungry and could not eat.

She was sniffing when Janet walked in. The woman went outside and bought pepper and finished preparing the food for Obi. Obi was skeptical about taking the food from Janet but hunger gave her no choice.

Later at night she went to thank Janet and found her teaching her sons how to make abacha. She saw Obi and told the boys to go away while they spoke and they did. Obi spoke with her concerning and the food and even helped her to finish with the abacha. Janet had even apologized for the incident with her mother's wrapper.

They all ate the food with boiled yam and coversated like a family. Obi's half -sisters questioned her about lots of things about the village and Mma's stories because Tobe had shared some with them and they were eager to hear a better version. Obi ended up laughing on so many occasions especially after she tried to demonstrate things the way her grandmother did.

She found it difficult to sleep that night because a part of her felt guilty. Was it wrong to accept her step mother into her life knowing that she was part of the reason her mother suffered while she was alive? But wasn't it a Christian thing to do?

The thought ran across her mind as she walked out of the house. The night chilly breeze kissed her face and she inhaled deeply. She quickly stepped down to the veranda where she saw her father seated staring into space. The old man looked at Obi and smiled and gestured that she sits with him.

Obi remembered the times when she used to enjoy her father's company so much, the times she would compare herself to him in so many ways. It felt awkward sitting with him and feeling like a total stranger.

"I did tell her that I would be sending money across for you and your siblings. She refused and kept rejecting the ones I sent across. I guess I was to blame, being with Janet and having other children bred enough hatred towards me. But I never abandoned you people, not in that way, I would never abandon my own children " The old man began

Obi was surprised, she never thought their father ever tried to help them. Their mother had told them he didn't want anything to do with them.

"I gwaghị m, (you did not tell me)" Obi wistfully stated

"I could not, you blamed me for so many things and I even began to believe them. Maybe I didn't do well, I should have just made sure you all were provided for, I should have insisted when Virginia kept rejecting money, instead I let my ego get in the way"

Obi felt gloomy hearing those words, it sounded like what Chioma had told her.

"You seem to always assume the worst about Obiefune and it is your ego getting in the way. Honestly Obi I am done pushing you two. If you don't let go of all these things you're holding on to, you will lose a man who loves you. He kissed a woman so what! Have you ever fought for Obiefune? What have you ever done to convince him that you actually love him? Do you actually love him?

Maybe that's all he is waiting for? For you to convince him? "

" The last time I tried convincing him my mother died and I got pregnant and I don't know if I love him "Obi retorted

"That is the problem! Your mother didn't die because of that and Benjamin is very much happy wherever he is if he told you to marry my brother. You love Obiefune very much, I think you are just scared to admit it. It is not wrong! It does not mean you loved Benjamin less! It means you are moving on and moving on is not exactly a bad thing. It is what the living do, Benjamin understood that, hence the will. Obi ask yourself, what exactly do you want? Why do you keep letting the past hold you back? Learn to let go biko. Stop holding on to guilt, people and things that'll keep you from living, otherwise I tell you, you'll end up miserable."

Obi moved closer to her father and rested her head on his laps, just like she used to when she was younger.

"I am sorry I blamed you for her death, I was very angry and hurt"

Okechukwu patted his daughter before breaking into laughter. Obi was bemused, she got up stared at her father.

"ọ gịnị?"

"I just remembered when you were little and your hair was so full and thick. It used to scare me a lot. It made you look like mmanwu, (masquerade)" Obi laughed heartily recalling her much younger self with her afro

"You used to give me money to braid so quickly eh, I wonder where I got the full hair from"

"It's from your grandmother"

Obi laughed after picturing Mma's bald hair. "mma kwa?"

"Chịwa nụ, she used to have very very full hair. Owu nkà, (old age)"

Okechukwu suddenly felt itchy and slapped his wrapper at his back to assuage the feeling.

Obi slowly got up and walked behind him, then started scratching and rubbing his back just like she used to when she was younger. She felt a certain level of peace that she couldn't explain. They conversed and laughed throughout the night before it was time for bed.

Obi saw a child slip on the mud and fall and remembered how Tobe had the same fall when he was younger. She smiled to herself before walking to the living room.

The boys were sleeping and her siblings had gone to Mma nkem's house before the rain began to help them. She rarely did much with regards to their marriage preparation because of her pregnancy which had almost reached delivery.

The rains stopped almost immediately and Obi waited for her siblings to return. Chioma had gone to their own house to prepare their rooms for guests that would be arriving two weeks later, she was spending the night there. Obi and Chioma spoke at length over the phone and she even told her of their photographs that she had discovered in their house.

She even saw the love letter Obiefune had written to Obi and Chioma taunted her with it. Obi began to understand what she needed to do to be free. Chioma had told her to let go of her past and the only anchor to the past that kept her from moving on were two parcels in her box.

Obi quickly fetched out the pomade and the cologne and wrapped them in a bag. She waited for Tobe to arrive before she pleaded with him to accompany her to do something.

"Biko bịa duga m ozi" (Please accompany me, I have a personal errand)

Her little brother was concerned with how slippery everywhere was.

Obi didn't care about the mud, she didn't care about the weather, she knew exactly what she wanted to do and she was willing to do it.

Tobe accompanied her first to the stadium where Benjamin had kissed her. She brought out the cologne, sprayed it on her hand and sniffed it the last time, dropped it on the pavements then walked away.

"Sister, you do know that the villagers will steal it"

Obi smiled at him and replied. "Maybe they should, that's the whole point, I'm letting go"

They arrived at the spot where Obi had dreamt her mother parted ways with her and brought out her pomade. Tobe understood what she was doing and wrapped his hands around her.

"She'll want you to be very happy" He whispered softly into her ears and Obi cried so much she could speak. She applied the pomade on her hand before throwing it into the bush where a palm tree stood.

The two siblings headed home after that and they spoke a lot about the upcoming occasion and Dee ogbo's love interest

"Sister, she might even be flogging him" Tobe taunted and she laughed

"No romantic name, just hees!"

Obi felt different as she arrived at the compound. She felt that a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had let go of the two people that held her back and there was one person she didn't want to let go. One person that she had to fight for, maybe this time Conviction would bring her something auspicious.

The moon slowly emerged from the clouds and Obi sat in front of the verandah at night reluctant to sleep staring at it. She watched the clouds move around it and stared at the only star that had come out to support the moon. A sudden realization hit her about what she did earlier. She never threw up or even felt sick after applying both the cream and cologne.

She felt cold all of a sudden and she shut her eyes imagining that Obiefune was beside her. He would quickly fish out a wrapper and cover her or even wrap his hands around her without hesitation.

All she ever needed to do was to say "Oyi ji m"

It felt so good to know how important she was to him.

Obi sighed after she opened her eyes and saw the space beside her empty. She hugged herself and later placed her hand on her protruding belly. Were they ever destined to be together? Or had they just been running from what was predestined?

Would they end up together against all the Odds they had faced? Maybe Chukwudi had foretold the future or maybe he expressed his wish.

Obi made a silent prayer for Obiefune to come back even before Chioma's wedding so that she could tell him how much she cared. She didn't want it to be over the phone, she was ready to stop running from what was meant to be. She dialed her father in law that night, he was surprised that she called so late and when he enquired of her reason she declared to his surprise.

"I am withdrawing from the contest"