Chapter 9 Let It Go!
<< Vanessa's POV >>
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I've heard stories about Ryker Holland. They call him the cunning brother who doesn't play fair but always wins fair and square.
I knew he was ruthless, but now I was seeing a side of him that was also needy and twisted.
One part of me screamed to run. Another—terrifyingly louder—pitched me forward, wanting more of whatever he was offering.
I knew he was trouble the moment he slid up next to me in the bar with that cocky, lopsided grin. And now, he was dragging me into his hell. As for me? I'd become too weak to resist. Or maybe it was just the fire Annie's text had fueled that drove me into this arrangement.
"Five months, and that's it?" My grip on the pen tightened as I stared at him, looking nothing like the man who had almost wrecked my thoughts earlier. Bloody hell, my heart was still racing like he'd flipped a switch inside me. "No sexual activities in private. Just appearances, fake smiles, and that's it?"
"Yes, unless you want something more."
"How generous."
"See? I can be nice too."
I snorted. "Sure." I said, scribbling my signature on the contract. Once done, I tossed it on the table. "All signed now."
He nodded calmly, dropped his leg from the other and picked up the file. "Very well then."
Without warning, he got out of his chair and strode over to me.
He gently placed a finger under my chin to make me look him in the eyes.
My breath slowed at the contact. "What are you doing?"
"Seeing the bruises that asshole left on you to know how many punches to plant on his face when next we meet."
I slapped his hand away from my jaw. "No. You're not allowed to hurt him."
"I'm allowed to defend you and to hurt those who hurt you."
"Don't touch Derek. I mean it."
"So do I." He stated flatly.
I stood up from the couch, lifting my chin. "I never permitted you to touch him. It might not affect your already wrecked relationship with him, but it would cause a larger rift between the two of us. Don't interfere."
"You think your relationship with him is any better than mine?"
"Say whatever you want but..." My voice fell short when he suddenly reached for my blazer. A gasp left me. "What are you..."
He pulled the blazer off my shoulder.
A look of disappointment crossed his face before they were gone in seconds, replaced by a scowl. "I thought as much."
"The heck is wrong with you?" I yelled. I didn't need to look down to know that he had seen the fading marks on my chest.
"This is the man you're breaking yourself for?" The look on his face was a mix of shock, disappointment, and utter disbelief.
My face burned as I blinked, refusing to cry.
He continued. "I don't want to misjudge you too much but I can't help but think you feed on toxicity. You seem addicted to it. Derek is a grown ass man, who knows what he wants, and that doesn't include you."
Was that all he thought of my love for Derek? Some toxic bullshit that needed to be sentenced by his cruel words?
"You know nothing about me and Derek." God, my voice wouldn't stay steady. "And you do not tell me what and how to feel. I love him. Deal with it."
He didn't speak. Just stared at me like I'd said the most foolish thing In the world.
But I continued. "You do not know of the concept of our love, Ryker."
"Our? " He spoke, taking small steps towards me. "It's just you in this, Little Lamb. No Derek. Let. It. Go!"
"You do not tell me what to do!"
"I don't. But that doesn't mean I won't say the truth to you. You are being delusional about Derek. He doesn't give two flying fucks about you."
Wow.
I laughed dryly. "Now it all makes sense. Now I see the reason why nobody ever speaks of you. Because you only know how to point fingers, Ryker. You're self-centered, mean, ill-mannered and an arrogant asshole."
His eyes darkened, and for a moment I expected him to grab my neck, slam me hard against the wall, and choke me until I pass out—just like his brother does to me.
But he didn't.
"At least I'm not a woman beater. And also not as scummy as your Prince charming."
For a split second, I didn't have a comeback. Just silence. Just the ache in my throat and the quiet shame of being the only one still fighting for a love that no longer fought back.
"Assume whatever makes you sleep at night. But Derek has done so much for me—things you'd never understand because you're too judgmental and bitter."
"He's done so much for you?" He scoffed. "Then, don't you see that he's also done so much to you? I mean, the evidence is all over your body." The sarcasm in his voice was clear. But I knew what I knew..
Before that side of Derek that tormented me, there was a different side to him that I knew. The side I fell in love with. Before all this, Derek was an angel.
He's been like my knight when everything else turned dark around me. He paid my late mother's hospital expenses when my father refused and turned a blind eye to her predicament. Derek came through for me, no questions asked.
When she eventually died, he kept me company in the morgue when no one cared. He brought me blankets and warm coffee. He asked if I'd eaten. He comforted me and brought out the smile I thought I'd lost when I lost my mom. And I clung to that kindness like it could bring her back.
I know he's not the same anymore, I know. But when someone holds you together in your darkest hour, you don't forget that. You cling to that memory, even when the person becomes a stranger. Even when it hurts.
But someone as bitter as Ryker won't be able to understand. He couldn't relate.
"A man that beats his woman is an animal, Vanessa." He muttered. "You shouldn't be anywhere near Derek. He's dangerous."
For some reason, I couldn't refute his words. Maybe it was the exhaustion finally catching up with me. "I'm done with this conversation. Just show me to my bedroom."
"Of course."
A few moments later, I settled in my new bedroom which was located on the second floor. The room was covered in grey. Grey bedsheets, grey-painted walls, closets, and curtains. Everything grey...
"This is where you'll be occupying until our contract elapses." His eyes settled on me and I subconsciously wrapped my hands around my chest, feeling exposed. "And...I'm sorry about earlier and the way I spoke to you. I should have been a lot nicer with my words."
I never would have imagined that Ryker could apologize.
It wasn't much. But coming from Ryker Holland, an apology felt like a crack in the armor. Or maybe just another manipulation I couldn't afford to believe in.
But I just nodded, too tired to argue anymore. "It's alright. If you'll excuse me, I need rest. Good night."