Chapter 33 Going Against Derek
"This isn't all about me, is it?" I asked quietly. "You want to bruise Derek's ego."
Ryker didn't say anything.
Of course not. For him, silence seemed to be easier than honesty.
So that's what this was. It wasn't about me, but about his brother. I was just another move in whatever war the Holland brothers were fighting.
"Am I just a tool to you as well?"
"You're overthinking this, Lamb," he said, tone deceptively calm. "I only want what's best for you."
"I know what's best for me, Ryker. And it doesn't involve being dragged into whatever mess you and Derek have going on."
"Who said you were in the middle of anything?" he snapped. "I never put you there."
"Then what's this?" I raised the file up to his face. "This plan of yours. Global. Your 'first step.' You want me there to serve whatever goal you've cooked up. What does that make me? A sacrificial lamb?"
Like a flipped switch, his gaze chilled, cold radiating from every corner of his eyes.
He closed the distance slowly, his voice edged with frustration, every word carefully measured but laced with something darker.
"Sacrificial lamb?" he repeated, voice tight like he was savoring the accusation. "That's what you think I see when I look at you?"
I crossed my arms even as my heart started hammering against my chest. "What am I supposed to think when you keep doing things like this?"
"Then let me spell it out for you." His jaw flexed as if trying to rein himself in. "Yes, Derek's agency is a step in a bigger plan. Yes, I want you there. But not as a pawn. Yet, you think this is all about Derek?"
"Why won't I doubt your motive when you've pulled every string since this whole thing between us started?" I threw back, my voice trembling in fury."You're basically controlling everything around me, Ryker. My scandal. My name. My choices. How am I supposed to know if you're telling the truth or not?"
"Because every damn thing I've done, I've done so you're not swallowed alive by them. By him. By any of them. I'm not Derek, Vanessa. I don't use you to win a game. I—" He cut himself off, shaking his head.
"You what?" I pressed, my own voice rising. "Say it. Because right now, all I see is a man who's no better than the one I left."
That hit him. His eyes flinched, and for the first time since we'd met, he looked almost... wounded.
"Don't compare me to him," he gritted out, his patience clearly dissolving. "Don't."
My tongue tangled in my mouth, eyes peering at him through my lashes. My grip around the file tightened, like a sin I was yet to commit.
"Like I said, I want what's best for you, Vanessa. Shying away from your fears isn't a solution. That's what cowards do."
"You're about to throw me into another mess and you call it saving."
"Because it is." He sighed. "You think this is all about my feud with Derek but you're wrong. This stopped being about Derek the moment you almost broke down during his engagement party. It stopped being about me wanting to trample all over my brother."
I blinked.
"You really want to know what this is?" He continued, his voice dropping into something softer. "It's me making sure you become a walking success again. And taking your rightful position in that agency, screw whoever the leading model is."
"And what if I don't want it?"
"You want it."
"You don't know that."
"Oh, yes, I do. You're just scared of what this could cost you."
My throat burned. "I'm not scared."
The words slipped out, but I didn't even believe it myself.
"Then prove it. Join Global agency."
"You don't get to challenge me into doing what you want."
"No," he said coolly. "But I do get to walk away if you decide to keep hiding from what's yours. If you keep letting the fear of your Ex-husband ruin things."
That stung more than it should have.
He leaned in, knowing his words had struck a chord. "This isn't about control, Lamb. Hell, I don't even want to do that with you. I just want to make you see that this is about Power. Your power. And I know how to get it back faster than you do."
My chest tightened. Once again, I found myself at a crossroads between letting my fear lead and shrinking back like a coward or reclaiming everything I've lost. Including control over my life.
"Keep the file with you, Lamb. You would want to see the things in there." He added. "And when you're done suppressing that side of you that wants to go against your ex-husband, call me."
He turned toward the door. I hated how fast the space between us returned.
"You're leaving for the office? Even on a Sunday?"
"Work doesn't necessarily have to be done at the office." He said above his shoulder.
Before I could answer, he opened the door, and left. The door clicked shut behind him, leaving me standing alone, chest tight, and a decision hanging around in my head.