Chapter 62 BLAME

Chapter 62 BLAME
RACHEL
I had no idea where we were when I opened my eyes. The whole drive had been exactly what I needed. Jay didn't try to start a conversation, and I had the entire ride to enjoy the quiet whoosh of the air flowing through the open window.
At some point, my thoughts drifted to Dad. Strange. I had promised myself I wouldn't waste another thought on someone who had chosen to walk away from his daughter so comfortably without ever looking back. Not even a single text.
The anger and exhaustion settled heavily inside my chest.
“Where are we?” I asked, my voice still thick with sleep as I rubbed my forehead, sniffing through my blocked nose.
Jay looked out through the windshield before turning to me. “Your mum said you weren't sleeping at home tonight,” he said quietly. “So I brought you to her place..” A small smile appeared on his face. “Though, I haven't been here in a while, so I missed a few turns but... here we are.”
I sighed. “You could've woken me.” Brushing a hand over my bangs and tucked them behind my ear.
“I bet you wouldn't have wanted me to,” he said. “You looked like you really needed the sleep.”
I unbuckled my seatbelt and reached around for my phone before he held it out to me. “You dropped it when you dozed off.”
“Er... thank you.” I took it from him without looking. “I'm sorry for making you bring me all the way here.”
“It's fine, Rachel.” He cut me off gently. “I get it. A lot of things went wrong today—”
“No, it's okay.” The words slipped out before I could stop them. I guess I could say I was completely exhausted by everything that happened today. I opened the door, then paused. Slowly, I closed it again and turned back to him.
The expression on his face told me he already knew this wasn't about the drive.
Maybe a week ago, things would've been different. Back then, I would've been satisfied with leaving the past buried. I'd spent so much time pretending certain things didn't matter, convincing myself it was easier to move on.
But right now, for the first time in a long while, I was tired of walking around the things that hurt.
“I heard about it,” I explained quietly. “You know... everything between you and Thane.” I shook my head. “No. I guess I should say half of it because I still don't understand.” My voice trembled slightly.
His eyes lifted to mine with genuine sincerity. “What did he tell you?”
I let out an unbelievable scoff. “Are you asking because you'd rather argue about it again?” My volume increased more than I wanted to. “Does it even matter?”
His jaw tightened slightly before he ran a hand through his hair. “Alright,” he said finally. “What do you want to know?”
“Ciara.” The name left my mouth before I could hesitate. “Who was she?” I swallowed. “And why the hell would Thane believe you murdered her?”
That was it. I saw the exact moment the colour drained from his face. For a second, he looked like he had forgotten how to breathe. Horrified. Frozen. Like a ghost from his past had just been dragged back into the car.
Jay went completely quiet for a second. He wasn't looking at me anymore, and somehow, that made everything even more confusing. “Please, say something, Jay.”
Finally, he spoke. “I'm going to say this first,” his voice hardened. “Thane is wrong. I didn't kill her. That's what he chose to believe, and I can't stop him.”
His fingers tapped nervously against his lap. “I loved his sister.” He bit down on his lip as if trying to swallow the emotions threatening to spill out. “So much, Rachel.”
His eyes met mine for a brief second before dropping away again.
My chest tightened a little.
“And maybe Thane's right.” His voice lowered. “Maybe I am responsible for her death because I could have…” His words broke off. “I couldn't protect her. And he blames me for that.”
“Why?” My voice nearly cracked. “If you loved her, why do you blame yourself? Why does Thane blame you and not someone else?”
The way his head dropped, it was like he couldn't let me see how broken he felt. He didn't talk immediately and before the silence could stretch any further, Tiara's call flashed across my screen.
I looked at it and pressed the side button.
“I think you should pick that,” Jay said, glancing at the phone on my lap.
“It doesn't matter. I'm right in front of her house. I really want to know the full story.”
He went quiet again, his fingers gripping the seatbelt tightly. “To be honest, I don't know what happened myself. I admit we met that same night she died, and I knew something was wrong with her, but…”
My phone rang again. “Just talk to her,” he said softly. “It might be important.”
I didn't want to, but I decided to listen. I slid the icon, and Tiara's voice came through instantly, frantic with tears. “Rachel—oh God, where are you? I’ve been waiting outside your house for ages.”
I frowned. “Hey, what's wrong?”
“It's over, Rach.” Her voice trembled.
“What do you mean?”
She exhaled sharply. “My father… he’s making me get engaged tomorrow to some guy I don’t even know. I ran from home.”
My stomach dropped. “What?”