Chapter 33 MUST BE CRAZY
RACHEL
Fck.
Thane wasn’t supposed to find me in his room, half-naked, fresh out of his shower because the one in mine decided to stop working.
The worst part? The way he looked at me. Like I was something he both wanted and hated in the same breath.
“Thane…” I started, my heart hammering so loud in my chest.
He didn’t answer. He just stalked toward me, his eyes dark, and for a second I almost thought he was going to kiss me. Or yell. Or something.
Instead, he stopped right in front of me, grabbed my arm and dragged me toward the door.
“Seriously?” I snapped, trying to yank free from his grip. “Let go!”
He didn’t. His grip was like iron. He swung the door open and the next second, he shoved me out so hard I stumbled, catching myself against the wall.
A bitter laugh escaped me, wondering why he even went that far... “Wow. Really? My shower broke, so I used yours. That’s it.”
“You used a guy’s bathroom without his consent,” he bit out, his voice sharp and colder than normal.
I stared at him. This wasn’t just about the shower. The anger rolling off him felt heavier. I felt it, deep down that whatever was going on with him had nothing to do with me being in his room either.
“A simple ‘get out’ would’ve worked, you know,” I shot back. “You don’t have to turn everything into a war.”
I exhaled, trying to keep my voice steady. “Fine. I was wrong. But you’re being a dick about it.”
“I’m not in the mood for this.” He glared down at me. “Next time, don’t walk into my room without permission. Do we understand each other?”
Something in his tone felt… off. Like he was broken deep inside. The coldness didn’t match the pain I’d glimpsed in his eyes for half a second before he shut down.
“Are you okay?” I asked quietly.
His eyes snapped at mine, laced with sarcasm. “Why? Your psychic abilities kicking in again?”
I frowned. “I don’t need to be psychic to see something’s wrong.” I held his gaze, trying to be calmer now. “We might not get along, but I’m not blind. You look like hell.”
He smirked, cold and dismissive in a way that almost annoyed me again. “Sorry to disappoint you. I’m fine.” His voice flattened. “And go find something to wear.”
He slammed the door in my face before I said anything else. And I just stood there, staring at the wood, my chest tight. That wasn’t just anger. That was a pain he didn’t want me to see.
What the hell happened to him?
I exhaled sharply and headed back to my room, towel still clutched tight around my chest. Thane had made it brutally clear to stay out of his business. I didn’t need any more words to understand. That was what he meant.
But I couldn’t stop replaying it, the way he’d looked at me in that towel, the raw edge in his eyes right before he shut down and shoved me out. After last night’s fight, I’d thought we were at least moving past pure hate. Now it felt like we’d sunk even lower.
I dropped onto the bed, my phone lighting up beside me. I fell on my back, picking it up.
Ray: Can we talk?
I bit my lip. Part of me wanted him punched again. He deserved it for cheating on me, though I didn't exactly want him to land at the hospital. But another part of me, the guilty part, wondered if I was really innocent either.
I stared at the screen, my fingers hovering over the keyboard. Unsure what I really wanted to do.
Did I even want to reply?... Finally, I did.
Me: How’s the swell? You okay?
He replied almost instantly.
Raymond: I know you, Rachel. You’re avoiding the real issue. I don’t care about the swelling. What I care about is if you really think I don’t deserve another chance?
I rolled onto my stomach, anger flaring again inside me. He cheated. Full stop. He should really quit trying now.
Ray: You there, Rachel? Can we at least meet tonight? Be honest, you feel responsible too. You know, I have waited for you since junior school. I tried. Fck Rachel, just answer me!
I read the message twice. I had no idea what was making me boil more. Maybe because he was blaming me now? Or something else that was somehow linked to Thane or the fact that he might be right.
Yes, we agreed to wait to take things slow, but waiting since junior school didn’t give him a free pass either.
The phone chimed once more, but I ignored it when T’s name flashed instead. I answered on speaker as I dug through my wardrobe for clothes.
“Hey, babe,” she said immediately.
“I’m okay,” I replied, tired, as I stepped into my panties. “What’s up?”
She scoffed. “You had me worried, babes. Yesterday was a total mess.”
“I know. Everything happened so fast.” I hesitated, then asked anyway. “Do you think I’m crazy for wondering if what happened to me is connected to Thane?”
T was quiet for a beat before she responded. “I don’t think you’re crazy. If anything… Thane and Noah have been hiding a lot of sht lately.”
My stomach twisted, brows pulling together. “. “What do you mean?”
“You should’ve seen him at the gala last night. He looked terrible.”
I froze. I thought I misheard her. “Wait… he came?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Why do you think he went to Jae’s place to look for you?”
My heart stuttered. I thought he’d just ditched everything. So he actually came that night for me?
I was so damn wrong. The whole time. I’d called him an ashole. Judged him without asking, without trying to understand him. I should’ve just said it, that I was angry, mad and so damn jealous, that seeing him with Wendy had messed me up more than I wanted to admit. I thought he’d gone there for her. I hadn’t trusted him fully.
“Sht…” I muttered barely audibly under my breath.
T’s voice pulled me back. “Listen, I think you should stay away from him. Not because I hate him… He's my friend, but I’m just really worried about you.”
“Thanks, T,” I said quietly. “I appreciate it.”
I swallowed. “Thanks, T,” I said quietly. “I appreciate it.”
“Alright. Just come over when you’re ready. We’ll head to Galaxy from here. You didn’t forget Stacy Brown’s birthday, right?”
I exhaled, rubbing my temple. “I remember. I’ll see you later.”
“Kisses.”
I ended the call, dropped the phone beside me before dragging my hands down my face. “Oh God…”
Why was he pushing me away so hard… if he actually cared? Because he did. He just didn’t know how to show it without destroying everything in the process.
I pushed myself off the bed and went straight to my wardrobe.
My fingers landed on the white dress Mum once called “dangerously sexy.” She wasn’t exactly a fashion expert… But sometimes… that woman tends to get it right.
The neckline dipped just enough, stopping right above my cleavage, while the rest flowed modestly down. Seductively tempting in a way that wasn’t too obvious.
I slipped it on and hooked it at the back. I didn’t want to look like I tried too hard. Not like I did anyway. I dusted my cheeks with a light blush. With a nude lipstick to make it perfect.
I checked myself in the mirror, tilting my head slightly. “Nice.”
I walked to the door, pulled it open… and froze.
Thane stood there, fist raised mid-knock. That instantly made my heart slam into my throat.
Sht… he looked wrecked. And still unfairly hot.
“Uh… were you looking for me?” I asked quickly, trying to sound normal while still trying to hide how nervous I sounded.
He lowered his hand slowly, sliding it into his pocket. “Yeah.”
His voice was quieter than usual. Was he here to apologize?
“You should go downstairs,” he added. “Someone’s waiting.”
“Oh… okay.” I nodded, disappointed. That wasn’t what I’d hoped for.
“I’m out,” he said, already turning away.
And just like that… My chance was walking away.
“Hey… wait!” The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.
He stopped, turned. And suddenly, my brain went blank. Our eyes locked, and everything I’d been thinking — the regret, the worry, the stupid pull I couldn’t shake — all crashed over me. I felt the words I wanted to say at the tip of my tongue, but they never came out.
I stepped closer to him, but Thane didn’t move. The air between us felt thick, charged. We just stood there, our eyes locked for God knows how long. He didn’t speak. Neither did I.
Slowly, my gaze dropped to his lips for half a second too long. Terrible idea. As if some kind of demon possessed me, I rose onto my toes and kissed him.
I didn't let myself think. Trust me, there's no way I could have done that in my right senses. Instead of pulling back, I deepened the kiss.
God… I must be crazy.