Two Sides Of A Mirror.

Two Sides Of A Mirror.

Ace – Point of View

“KARLIN!” Spades yelled as I rushed outside, pushing through the walls, reaching for air.

I sank to my knees the second I was out on the ground. Air rushed into my lungs, but still I choked. My breath came in shallow and rapid bursts. My chest tightened as if held by an iron band. My legs felt like jelly. I could hear my heartbeat. It drowned out every other sound, but it didn’t drown out Spades. He was right where I needed him, wrapping his arms around me, pressing his palm to my erratic heart.

“I’m here. I’m always here. Even God can’t tear me away from you, Karlin. I’ll always be here.” Spades whispered, pressing his lips to my cheeks. I exhaled slowly, dragging in air. I held on to him desperately.

“Come on, get up,” Caine said, and they both pulled me to my feet. I staggered backwards, my legs were jelly, but they held me before I could fall. Cateleya, Levi and Armani stood there, staring at me apologetically. I hated the pity in their gaze.

“I’m sorry, Ace. I didn’t – I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I didn’t even know you were there.” Cateleya whispered, her face flushed. Her words were thick with shame. It tore me apart.

“You have nothing to apologise for, Cate. I should be thanking you. Thank you.” I said, frowning, feeling the hand around my heart squeeze softly.

“My pleasure.” She smiled at me, and I chuckled softly, lightness flooding me.

“Yeah, we can all see that.”

“Get cleaned up, Cateleya. Camilla and Ana are arriving in an hour. Rue, Alex and June, too. It’s about to be a family dinner.” Armani declared, smiling at the thought of his wife. Longing flooded me, spilling into my veins and joints like ink.

“I’m gonna take a walk. Need to clear my head.” I said, turning to Spades, gauging his reaction.

I just needed to clear my head. It wasn’t a reflection of us. To make him certain we were fine, I pulled him to me and kissed him softly. He froze for a millisecond before kissing me back, cupping my face tenderly. Heat radiated through us like a live current under our skin. My hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer until there was no space left. The world narrowed to his touch, to the feel of his mouth, to him. It was always him.

We pulled apart slowly. He had a huge grin on his face. I chuckled softly, but pressed my lips to his forehead, then I walked away.

Valentina Russo’s estate was never-ending. I wondered if we could have something like this in Russia. My parents’ home wasn’t this big. It was just a small estate. I wanted somewhere like this, a house, a haven for the family, Spades and I would build. As much as I wanted a family, I knew I only had the strength and mental capacity for one child. I didn’t know the details yet, but I was certain we would get married, adopt a baby, and raise her to be the best version she could be.

I kept walking, exploring the parameters of Valentina’s home. I could not understand how she was able to build something amazing after her husband died. I could not understand how she had the courage to carry on, or where she found the strength.

I was coming to understand that this grief will stay with me for a very long time, and maybe that was the beauty of it. I loved my Dad and I missed him terribly. I would love him for the rest of my life, which meant I would miss him every day. I would miss him the day Spades and I get married. I would miss him when we adopt a baby. I would miss him when I wake. He will miss every big and small moment.

It was unfair, but I knew I could live for him, which I will do. I would hold my mother’s hand so she never felt alone. We would never forget him. He’ll live on in us, in Spades, in the people he loved, in our child, because I knew he would have loved her.

“You look sad.” I heard as I stared at the pond. I frowned, turned to my right and saw a little girl.

The sight of her hit me like a tornado. Silas’ daughter. Silas, whom I killed and basically tore in half. Silas, whose body I sent through a grinder, and poured the remains into the sea. I killed her father. She was looking at me with curiosity and a smile. She didn’t know what I did. She could never know what I did.

“I’m Greta. You are Ace, right? Spades’ boyfriend?” She asked, filling in the silence smoothly.

I cleared my throat and nodded, “Yeah – yeah. I’m Ace. It’s nice to meet you, Greta.” My heart was racing. My fingers were trembling. Heat flushed to my cheeks and chest.

I’d never regretted killing anyone I’d killed. Killing was second nature for me. I’d grown up knowing what I’d do, knowing who I was. Guilt when it came to killing was novel and strange, but here I was, mourning my father, while staring at the girl whose father I killed. Silas might not have killed my father, but he was a bad person. He kidnapped me at five years old and did unspeakable things to me. He would have died one way or the other. I didn’t really regret killing him. He had to go.

“So, why are you sad?” Greta asked me, throwing a pebble in the pond.

I exhaled harshly, “I miss my Dad. He died a few months ago.”

“Sorry. My Dad is dead too. It’s been a year.” She informed me with a frown, and I froze, confused.

A year? Silas hadn’t been dead for a year. Looks like the conversation with Marlene must be had.

“Come on, Greta. Let’s find your mom.” I urged, and she nodded.