Chapter 33 I don't need a lecture
Greyson sat alone in the sterile hospital room, the silence pressing down on him like a physical weight. The antiseptic smell burned his nostrils, and the fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, casting harsh shadows across the white walls.
He stared at his bandaged knuckles; the throbbing pain from his split lip was nothing compared to the ache in his chest that seemed to grow with each passing minute.
He'd royally screwed up. The look on Cassie's face when he'd screamed at her would haunt him forever. Her tears, the way she'd flinched when he raised his voice—it was everything he'd sworn he'd never become. His father had been a screamer, a man who used his voice like a weapon, and Greyson had promised himself he'd never put that kind of fear in someone's eyes the way his father had done to him and his mother. He'd done exactly that. He'd become the thing he'd spent his whole life trying not to be.
The door opened with a soft whoosh, and Kevin walked in carrying a fresh set of clothes. His expression was carefully neutral, but Greyson could see the disapproval radiating from him like heat from a flame. Kevin set the clothes down on the bed with more force than necessary and crossed his arms.
"Your wife paid your medical bills," Kevin said, his voice flat and professional. "She also made sure you had clean clothes and a ride back to the hotel. Despite the fact that you screamed at her like she was your worst enemy instead of the woman who married you less than twenty-four hours ago."
Greyson couldn't meet his eyes. The shame was overwhelming, a living thing that twisted in his gut.
"I don't need a lecture."
"Actually, I think you do," Kevin replied, pulling up a chair and sitting down. "What the hell is wrong with you? That woman married you yesterday, gave up her dream of a proper wedding with her family and friends because she fell in love with you, and you're already treating her like she's the enemy."
The words hit deeper than Kevin could know. Cassie had mentioned, in those precious quiet moments between kisses the night before, how she'd always imagined walking down an aisle in her grandmother's dress, surrounded by everyone she loved. Instead, she'd stood in a courthouse with a stranger who'd stolen her heart in the span of a few hours. She'd given up everything she'd dreamed of for him, and this was how he'd repaid her.
"You don't understand..." Greyson muttered, starting to change into the fresh clothes Kevin had brought. His movements were stiff and painful, but the physical discomfort was nothing compared to the emotional turmoil raging inside him.
"Then explain it to me," Kevin said firmly. "Because from where I'm sitting, you just screamed at your wife until she cried, and I'm trying to figure out what she could have possibly done to deserve that kind of treatment."
Greyson's hands stilled on his shirt buttons.
"She was talking to Jake. Her ex-boyfriend. The one who cheated on her and broke her heart."
"And?"
"And she's my wife!" Greyson snapped, his voice rising. "She shouldn't be talking to him at all. She should have told him to get lost the moment he showed up."
Kevin shook his head, his expression a mixture of disappointment and frustration. "You're an idiot. Do you know what she told me about that conversation? She told Jake to leave her alone. She told him she didn't want to see him anymore. She defended you, Greyson. While you were off starting fights and getting your ass kicked, she was handling her business like the mature adult she is."
The words hit Greyson like a physical blow, and he felt the air leave his lungs.
"She did... what?"
"She told him it was over. Completely over. She made it clear that she had moved on and that he needed to do the same. And then she came running to the hospital to make sure you were okay, only to have you scream at her for caring about you."
Kevin's voice was harsh, cutting. "That girl has been through hell with men who didn't appreciate her. Don't be another one."
Greyson thought about the way Cassie had looked when she'd first told him about Jake—the pain in her eyes, the way her voice had caught when she'd described finding him with another woman. She'd trusted him with that vulnerability, and he'd thrown it back in her face the first chance he got.
Greyson sank back onto the bed, running his hands through his hair. The weight of his mistakes was crushing him, and he could barely breathe. "I didn't know."
"You didn't ask," Kevin corrected sharply. "You just assumed the worst and lashed out like a wounded animal. That's not love, man. That's fear and insecurity, and it's toxic as hell."
"I am afraid. I'm terrified she's going to realize she made a mistake and leave. I'm terrified I'm not good enough for her. I'm terrified that every man she talks to is going to be better than me, more worthy of her love."
The admission hung in the air between them. Greyson had never said those words out loud before, not even to himself. But there they were, raw and honest and painful.
Kevin's expression softened slightly, though his voice remained firm. "Those are your issues to work through, not hers to accommodate. She can't love you out of your insecurities, Greyson. You have to do that work yourself. And if you don't, you're going to lose her. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but eventually."
"How do I fix this?" Greyson asked, his voice cracking with desperation.
"You start by apologizing. Really apologizing. Not just saying sorry, but acknowledging what you did wrong and what you're going to do differently. And you better hope she's willing to forgive you, because if I were her, I'd be on a plane home by now."
Kevin stood up, preparing to leave. "She's a good woman, Greyson. One of the best I've ever known. She deserves a husband who trusts her, who supports her, who builds her up instead of tearing her down. If you can't be that man, then let her go so someone else can."
After Kevin left, Greyson sat in the quiet room, processing everything. The silence was deafening, broken only by the distant sounds of the hospital monitors beeping, voices in the hallway, the soft squeak of wheels on linoleum. He thought about his marriage to Saskia, how his jealousy and insecurity had poisoned everything between them. He'd sworn he wouldn't make the same mistakes again, but here he was, repeating the same destructive patterns.
The irony wasn't lost on him. He'd been so afraid of losing Cassie that he'd driven her away with his own actions. His fear had become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and now he was sitting alone in a hospital room, wondering if his marriage was over before it had really begun.
His phone buzzed with a text message. For a moment, his heart leaped, thinking it might be Cassie. But it was from his sister, Megan: "Heard you were in a fight. Are you okay? Call me."
Greyson stared at the message for a long moment before dialing her number. He dreaded the conversation, but he needed to talk to someone who knew him better than anyone else in the world.
"Grey, what happened?" Megan's voice was full of concern and worry.
"I messed up, Meg. Really messed up," he said, his voice hoarse from shouting and emotion.
"Tell me."
"I married Cassie," he said quietly, the words feeling strange on his tongue.
The silence on the other end stretched for long seconds. "You what?"
"Yesterday. We got married yesterday. And today I screamed at her and made her cry, and I don't know how to fix it."
"Oh, Grey," Megan sighed, and he could hear the disappointment in her voice. "Are you in love with her?"
"Yes. More than I've ever been in love with anyone in my life. That's the problem."
"No, the problem is that you're letting your past dictate your present," Megan said firmly. "Cassie isn't Saskia. She's not going to cheat on you or abandon you like Vivian. If you keep treating her like she is, you're going to lose her."
"I know," he whispered, his voice breaking. He thought about the way Cassie had looked at him on their wedding day—like he was her whole world, like she couldn't believe her luck. No one had ever looked at him that way before, with such pure, uncomplicated love.
"Where is she now?"
"I don't know. Probably with her friends, trying to process the fact that her husband is a complete ass who doesn't trust her." The word 'husband' felt foreign in his mouth now, tainted by his failures. Did he even deserve that title?
"Then you better go find her and grovel. Grey? This is your last chance. If you blow this, if you hurt her again, I will personally make sure you never get near another one of my friends. I mean it."
"I understand."
"Good. Now go fix this. Figure out what's really driving this jealousy before you talk to her. Because if you can't get to the root of it, you're just going to keep hurting her."