Chapter 26 Hospitals and feelings
The hospital waiting room was sterile and cold, filled with the antiseptic smell that always made Cassie feel slightly nauseous. She sat in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs, still wearing her evening dress, her makeup smudged from the tears she'd shed on the ambulance ride over. Her hands were shaking as she held her phone, trying to decide whether to call Meagan or not.
How could things go from 0 to 180 in just a matter of seconds? One moment she was having a perfectly normal conversation with Brandon, and the next, her husband was being wheeled into an emergency room with a bloody nose and what looked like a concussion.
Her husband. The word still felt foreign on her tongue, but it was becoming more real with each passing hour. They were married, for better or worse, and right now it was definitely feeling like worse.
She kept replaying the fight in her mind, trying to understand what had triggered Greyson's reaction. She'd seen him get moody before, but this was different. This was raw, primal, like he'd been pushed past his breaking point.
"Mrs. Christianson?" A doctor in scrubs approached her, clipboard in hand.
"Yes?" Cassie stood up quickly, her heart racing. It was the first time someone had called her by her married name, and despite everything, it sent a little thrill through her.
"Your husband has a mild concussion and some bruising, but he's going to be fine. We'd like to keep him overnight for observation, but he should be able to go home tomorrow."
Relief flooded through her.
"Can I see him?"
"He's awake, but he's been asking for you. Room 314."
Cassie thanked the doctor and made her way down the hall, her heels clicking against the linoleum floor. When she reached room 314, she paused outside the door, taking a deep breath before pushing it open.
Greyson was lying in the hospital bed, his face bruised and swollen, his left eye nearly swollen shut. When he saw her, he tried to sit up, but wincd and fell back against the pillows.
"Cassie," he said, his voice rough. "I'm so sorry."
She moved to his bedside, her heart breaking at the sight of him. "Don't apologize. This isn't your fault."
"Isn't it?" He looked at her with his one good eye, and she could see the self-loathing there. "I lost control. I let my insecurities get the better of me, and I put you in danger."
"You didn't put me in danger," Cassie said, reaching for his hand. "Jake did that when he forced his way into my room."
"I should have been there," Greyson said, his voice barely above a whisper. "I should have stayed with you instead of running off like a coward."
"You're not a coward," Cassie said firmly. "You're human. You were dealing with a lot tonight, and—"
"I was jealous," Greyson interrupted, his voice cracking. "I was jealous of Brandon, jealous of Jake, jealous of everyone who knew you before I did. I kept thinking that you were going to realize you deserve better than me, and I was acting like an idiot because of it."
Cassie felt tears prick at her eyes.
"Greyson, look at me."
He turned his head toward her, and she could see the vulnerability in his expression, the fear that she was going to walk away.
"I chose you," she said, her voice steady despite the emotion threatening to overwhelm her. "Not Brandon, not Jake, not anyone else. I chose you, and I'm choosing you again right now."
"But I'm—"
"You're what? Complicated? Moody? Insecure? So what? So am I. So is everyone." She squeezed his hand.
"I didn't fall in love with you because you were perfect. I fell in love with you because you're you. All of you, including the parts that you think make you unlovable."
Greyson closed his eyes, a tear escaping down his cheek. "I was so scared tonight. When I saw you with Brandon, when I saw the way he looked at you, I thought—"
"You thought what?"
"I thought you were going to leave me for him. He's everything I'm not. He's uncomplicated, he's easygoing, he doesn't have a dark past or control issues or ..."
"Or what? A company? A beautiful house? A heart big enough to love me even when I'm being difficult?" Cassie shook her head.
"Greyson, you're not seeing yourself clearly. You're not the villain in this story. You're just a man who's been hurt before, who's trying to protect himself from being hurt again."
"I don't know how to do this," he admitted. "I don't know how to be married to someone I love this much. It terrifies me."
"It terrifies me too," Cassie said. "But we're going to figure it out together. That's what married couples do. They figure it out together."
She leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead, being careful not to hurt him. "I love you, Greyson. I love your intensity, I love your passion, I even love your ridiculous jealousy because it means you care about me. But I need you to trust me. I need you to trust that I'm not going anywhere."
"I want to," he said. "I want to trust you, I want to trust us, but "
"But nothing. We're married, remember? We made vows to each other, even if we were drunk when we made them. Those vows mean something to me. Do they mean something to you?"
"They mean everything to me," Greyson said, his voice breaking. "You mean everything to me."
"Then trust that. Trust us. And next time you're feeling insecure or jealous or scared, talk to me about it instead of bottling it up and letting it explode."
Greyson nodded, wincing as the movement aggravated his injuries. "I will. I promise."
They sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes, Cassie's hand in his, both of them processing the events of the evening. Finally, Greyson spoke again.
"What happened after I left with the paramedics?"
"I sent Jake away and came straight here. I've been waiting for about two hours."
"I'm sorry you had to deal with all that alone."
"I wasn't alone," Cassie said. "I had you. Even unconscious and bleeding, I had you."
Greyson squeezed her hand. "I love you, Mrs. Christianson."
"I love you too, Mr. Christianson."