But the papers lay abandoned in a corner of his desk, he didn't even look at them. Her signature was on them and he didn't want to see it, if he did the reality would hit him head on: "She doesn't love you anymore".
Harry had become the black sheep in the family. Susan was furious with him and never missed an opportunity to throw what he had done in his face. Daniel pretended he didn't exist and Charles sometimes gave him a suspicious look. He kept turning the subject over in his head, he had gone down to the security sector to check if it was true; and it was true, his credentials had seen the video and made a copy.
What bothered him most was seeing her with Leonard. It was more than confirmed by everyone that Deanna had left Daniel for him; that they were parading around the city, and now it was said that the guy had set her up in an apartment downtown. He couldn't believe it, this wasn't the Dean he knew.
He made some enquiries with his old college mates, he knew from the kids that Deanna had auditioned and had done wonderfully, the rest he knew from some of the applicants who had also auditioned and had seen her at the Ambassador with Reed.
He couldn't wait any longer and went looking for her. He showed up at the theatre in the afternoon and asked for her. But they made him wait, Deanna was no longer just one of the others, she had become Feni's student.
-Harry Crusher is outside, Deanna, he wants to talk to you - Marcus told her.
Deanna hesitated, what did he want?
- Shall I tell him to leave? -
- No... I'm taking a break, I can see him... -
- OK, I'll tell him to go backstage... Let me know if anything comes up, OK? -
Marcus was more or less aware of what was going on with the Crushers, thanks to Leonard; plus he felt a certain "obligation" to look after her, since he had found out that she was his friend's daughter.
He was waiting for her between clothes and make-up, sitting in front of a mirror, watching everything around him. Deanna came in, closed the door and looked at him, he stood up.
- It's true... -He told her.
- What is it? -
- That you work for Feni now... Congratulations... -
- Why did you come? -
- To talk to you... to confirm the rumours...
- Well, you saw me...
Seeing him again brought back the feelings of fear she had tried to leave behind. It showed on her face, and it wasn't lost on Harry. He took a few steps towards her, she looked so beautiful... It couldn't be true, what they were saying and what he himself had seen on the social networks.
- Deanna... is it true? Tell me... -
- What else do you want to know? -
- Are you with Leonard Reed? -
Is that where he'd gone? To find out if she was Leonard's lover? How little he knew her. She felt insulted, again.
- What do you care? Why don't you just leave me alone? -
- It can't be true, you wouldn't do that... I know you... -
- You don't know me, you lied to me and used me... Now you come here to what? To insult me? What do you care what I do or don't do with Leonard? -
- That's not true.
- What if it were? Or what, should I spend my life crying for your brother? -
If they want to think that of her, let them. What difference does it make? They'd already treated her like a gold digger, humiliated her by telling her she wasn't good enough, manipulated her as they pleased, and now they were treating her like a slut. What did that make her any more of a stain?
- So you're with him...
- You'd better go, Harry... Leonard will be here any minute...
He looked at her and felt that he didn't really know her. This sad-faced, harsh-voiced woman wasn't Dean. He was about to leave the dressing room when she stopped him.
-Don't come back," she told him.
She had to cut the threads that bound her to all of them. The only ones she wouldn't leave unless something happened were the children; the rest were just a sign of the pain in her life. And despite her haughty attitude and stern voice, she couldn't help but cry as he left. She returned to Feni with red, swollen eyes.
- Why did you go to her? -
Laura asked him when he told her it was true about Leonard.
- I had to know... -
- What for? Are you still doing the same thing, Harry? - Her voice cracked a little.
- No, no, Laura... I just had to confirm it... The whole thing has turned into a nightmare... I can't even figure out what happened with that damn security pass... -
- There's nothing you can do about it now. She's left with Leonard. What's the point of picking at the wound? Daniel was devastated. Camilla told me that she had sent him the divorce papers with Reed's lawyers... It's over, Harry... You should let her get on with her life and we'll get on with ours... -
Emma stirred in her cot and began to make small noises. Harry took her in his arms; Laura was right, if she had decided that this was her way, far away from everyone and in the company of this guy, what else was there to say?
The unsigned papers had been sitting in the same corner of his desk for days. Little by little, more documents covered them until they disappeared from his sight. He knew they were still there, but he didn't want to touch them. Deanna spoke to her children over the Internet at least once a week, and he listened behind the door as if he were a thief. As long as he could hear her voice, he wouldn't sign anything.
But Camila and Beverly wouldn't leave him alone. They took every opportunity to remind him that he was a jilted husband, none of them mentioning that he was because he had cheated on her; to remind him that he was with the worst kind of guy, that if Leonard was so vulgar then Deanna must be equally so. How could he let her carry his surname? "It's time to move on, Daniel."
Somehow, without anyone noticing, Beverly was spending more and more time in his orbit. With excuses of late work or urgent papers, she would show up at his house and stay late. Or she would find excuses to spend most of the day in his office. Camila encouraged her to find a way to "accompany him through this difficult time", as if she wanted to see it through his eyes.
Susan had noticed her movements around Daniel; she never liked her, and now she liked her even less. It was obvious to her that she was hovering over him like a vulture, waiting for the right moment to feed on the remains Deanna had left behind. Sometimes she was overcome with fear to go and find her and warn her that Beverly was on to him, but what nerve to go begging to a cheat? Besides, there was Leonard.
- They think I'm your lover..." Deanna told him as they ate outside.
- Does it bother you? What a stupid question! Of course it bothers you...- Leonard replied.
- I don't know... When I spoke to Harry, he was so convinced, I let myself go and didn't deny it... -
- We can make our family relationship public if you want... -
She thought about it, she shouldn't even doubt it, but...
- No... If they want to think like that, let them. Maybe then they will stop bothering me... -
- What about Crusher's children? -
- They haven't said anything to me about it, I don't think they hear the gossip... I suppose I'll have to tell them the truth if they ever ask.
- It's your choice, Deanna -
- What about your wife? Your daughters? -
- Alice is away and I think she'll be away for a while... Anyway, sooner or later I'll have to tell her or she'll make another circus. And my daughters... my daughters don't care. All I know about them is the bank account I have to pay into every month... Anyway -
In the end, he was just a sad and lonely man who had driven away the only family he had to focus on. He, too, had succumbed to the lack of love, the uprooting of affection, and had turned himself into a "thing". And as much anger as Deanna held in her heart for how he had made her mother suffer, she could not reject him. She was weighed down by grief and felt that she, too, was a lonely soul.