Chapter Forty One-1

------------------- He shook off my hand, before sliding into his car. "You made your bed," he said to me in a quiet, sad tone that left me slightly breathless. "Now you have to lie in it." With that, he tore out of the school car park, leaving me all alone. Which is exactly what Ashton said would happen. --------------------- I feel cold and numb as I walk out of the school car park. Without Hayden, I am pretty much alone. I'm to blame for this, obviously, but it still hurt. I have Harvey's divided attention and that's about it. Other than that, who do I have? The walk home feels much longer than it usually would. Probably because I am dragging my feet. The wind is harsh, slapping the loose tendrils of my hair to my face. I hug my blazer to me, wishing I could go to sleep and wake up when high school is well and truly over. My phone vibrates in my bag. Pulling it out, I stare emotionless down at the screen as mum's name appears. I answer but don't say anything as I continue to walk, my shoulders slumped. "Grace? Are you okay? I just got a call from the school. Apparently, there was a disturbance and now you're not in classes but were seen there this morning?" "Hayden and I got in a fight," I reply bluntly. "I'm not going to classes today." "Are you okay?" "No, not really." I'm glad she called. Hearing her voice makes me feel better. It makes me feel like maybe, she had time for me, after all. "Do you need me to come home? I might be able to get out in a few hours." I shake my head. "No, don't bother. I'm miserable company anyway." "Are you sure? You don't sound okay." "I'm fine," I mutter as I walk up the pavement. "I'm going to go to sleep and hopefully I'll feel better when I wake up." "All right, call me if you need me? I'm going into surgery, but you can leave a message at reception." "I'll be fine." "Okay. I love you." "You too," I mutter, not wanting to say I love you to anyone else, ever again. I feel empty as I walk up my stairs and into mum's bathroom. I open her mirror cabinet and scan through the few medications she has. I find the ones I was looking for--she was prescribed sleeping pills when she had nightmares after dad died. They occurred for years but the more she worked, the more tired she got and the fewer nightmares she seemed to have. They're probably expired but I slide four onto my tongue anyway, dry swallowing them, before putting the container back onto the shelf. The label had read to take only one at a time, but I thought four would keep me knocked out for a while. I walk into my room, shrugging off my blazer, dry tears staining my cheeks, before face-planting onto my bed, begging sleep to consume me. *** A loud bang downstairs caused me to jump, startled. My eyes feel heavy in my head as I peer around, wondering where the hell I am, what year it is and what the hell that noise was. As my groggy mind slowly pieces everything together, the thick hurt I felt deep inside my chest re-surfaces, slicing me open. "I know you're here!" a voice yells loudly. It was hard to distinguish what the person said. I'm not sure if it's because I'm zonked out of my head on sleeping pills or if the person is drunk. Peeling my body from my mattress, with enormous effort, I wobbly got to my feet, my vision blurry. Stumbling down the stairs in complete disorientation, I see Ashton standing at the bottom of my stairs. "What the hell?" I ask, my speech tangled and slow. He is swaying, a glassy look in his eyes as he stares at me. I look around, noticing that it isn't daylight anymore. Had I slept all day? "You stupid bitch. Carrie left me because of you." His face holds a murderous, stormy expression I've never seen before. His eyes are a mess, hair ruffled, pupils abnormally small. "Who's fault is that?" I ask groggily, walking down towards him, my throat feeling dry. I need some water before I pass out from dehydration. I feel like I've been hit my a truck, dragged and then backed over. I gain a little more energy due to adrenaline but I still felt like a tonne of bricks has been dropped onto my body. "Now, Grace, you have no one," he drags out his words, his teeth gritted. "You're not my number one, you're not Hayden's. Even your dorky friend has someone." My head is swimming. I feel his brutal words like a slap across the face. Does he not realise that I already know this? Why else would I have drugged myself into being in a coma-like state all day? "Get out of my house before I ring the police," I snarl, my words having a slight delay as I yell them. "Big threat coming from someone off their face on God knows what," he sneerd and I look at him incredulously. Is he delusional? Clearly, he is the one off his face. "Go home and sleep off whatever you've taken," I demand, folding my arms across my chest. "No, thanks." "You're 22 years old. Grow up and get the hell out of my house before I scream." He let out a crude laugh. "You're a little bitch. No wonder you have no one." Ignoring his cruel words, I move towards the kitchen, considering he is blocking the door. I am going to ring the police.