20

“Mommy!

Louis's voice snaps me out of my thoughts as I enter my apartment. Immediately, a smile fills my lips and before receiving his hug, I hurry up and disinfect myself with the gel alcohol that I carry in my bag. After spending almost three weeks under observation in the hospital, he was released, and after all, he can be here at home with me and Carol.

"Dear! "I kiss both cheeks." How are you, do you feel okay?

"Yes, mom.

“I am very glad to hear that. "I recover my position." Is Aunt Carol in the kitchen?

"Yeah! She is preparing dinner.

"Good. Give me a second, I'll go take a shower and change my clothes, okay?

He nods and I head to my room. I go into the bathroom, turn on the water tap in the shower, take off my clothes and get under the stream of hot water that relaxes my body. I rinse my hair, lather my body, and when I'm done, I put on my nightwear. Being at home, I just settle for brushing my hair and leaving it damp to dry naturally.

I head to the kitchen, where I see Carol preparing dinner.

"Hey" she greets me as she cuts the vegetables and I join in on the action. I take a knife and help her with the homework.” There's no need...

"I just want to help you. “She outlined a smile. I notice that she stares at me, stunned. "That?

"Nothing..." He shakes his head. It's just... she hadn't seen you smile genuinely in a long time. I'm glad you're feeling better.

"Thank you," she murmured.

I help her with dinner, I set the table, Louis shows up and I go with him to sanitize his hands. We return to the kitchen, Carol has already served dinner and we proceed to eat dinner. In the middle of the process, we talk to Louis. He looks happy. It makes me happy to see him like this.

His happiness is mine and having him at home feels like an iota of calm and normality. He feels good, different and normal.

However, I can't stop thinking about Jonas, about his arrival and the way he touched me. If Mr. Hills hadn't arrived on time… maybe he wouldn't have come home, maybe he would have… The thought sickens and revulses me. I just want you to leave me alone. How complicated is it to understand that I just want to live my life calmly after so much suffering? Jonas did what he wanted with me, he used me, laughed and made fun of me in the cruelest way possible. I trusted him.

After dinner, I accompany Louis to his room, which, it should be noted, I took great care of disinfecting it with great care. I sanitize my hands before touching anything in the room.

"Go brush your teeth," I tell him. "I will wait for you here.

He nods and goes into the bathroom. Meanwhile, I look around the room. It had been so long since I entered here, after he was admitted to the hospital I did not have enough courage to enter the room, the times I tried to do so I burst into tears because his absence was a constant martyrdom.

Louis returns a few seconds later, and I help him clear the duvet. He lies down on the bed and I cover him with the covers. In his look I see Jonas's eyes, he looks a lot like him, but I'm happy to know that they're not the same person.

"Mother.

"Yeah?

I lean a little towards him.

“Won't I have to go back to the hospital anymore? I want to stay here.

His question makes my heart tremble, and... I barely smile.

“You won't have to go back, honey. "I caress her wrist." But we will have to do some checkups with the doctor to make sure everything is in order. Don't worry, it's nothing serious. You are very brave and now you are fine, that is the important thing.

A smile lifts her lips.

“And why is Aunt Carol living with us? Uncle Josh was left alone...? I would like to see it.

Josh and Louis were never very close, but there was a kind feeling between them, so I understand their doubts.

“Aunt Carol has some problems to solve and she will be living here with us for a while. Meanwhile, Uncle Josh will take care of his work.

“All adults do is work? That's very boring...

He makes me laugh. I thought the same way.

“Well, we have to earn money. It is important to have a job. One day you will grow up, you will study hard and you will also have a job to take care of. You will understand with time that we all have to do something with our lives.

“Mandatory?

"Technically...yes, unless you want to live in the middle of nowhere" I provide a few last caresses on the back of her hand and place a kiss on her cheek. "I need you to rest, it's already a little late.

"Alright.

"Good night" I stand up.

"Good evening" When I hear his greeting, I turn around, but his voice questions me. “Mommy...

"Yeah?

I turn around.

“When can I go back to school?

“Uhm…for now, you won't be able to attend. The school is aware of your situation, I already talked to them and they understand.

"When can I return?

“I can't say exactly when, but it will be in a few months. Be patient.

"Alright. Good night.

I give him one last smile before leaving the room.

I return to the kitchen, where Carol drinks a cup of tea as she leans against the counter and her gaze wanders around her.

“I already made up my mind,” he says, as I barely approach her.

"That?

“I'm going to have the baby.

When she says this, she looks up.

"What do you think about it?

"That seems fine to me. It's your decision.

"I'm scared of it.

“It is normal for you to feel that way. I wasn't ready either, however, then you realize that if you put your mind to it, you can do it.

"That's the problem" he looks at me. "You are a great mother, Eva. You are willing to fight for what you want no matter what. And I... I give up easily, if something doesn't go my way I feel like it's not worth it. We've known each other for a year and I know how hard you've tried to give everything to Louis.

“I just do what any woman would do for her child. You will make a great mother too, Carol.

"You think?

"Why not? Being a mother is not something that comes to you by itself, you get used to it over time until you manage to polish yourself in it. You do very well...

"I'm afraid to do the same thing to him that they did to me," she admits after a few seconds.

"It won't happen, believe me," I make a long pause. "Even so, you'll have a lot more time to keep thinking. It's your decision.

"I know" she smiles.

"I'll go to sleep, it's a little late already.

"Sure, good night.

"Good night.

I go to my room, close the door and as soon as I fall on the bed, I manage to fall asleep. I'm very tired.