107

107
The ringing in Baldwin’s ears hadn’t stopped since the clash of steel.

Smoke and ash hung in the hall like a low fog. Somewhere behind him, boots slammed against the stone in a chaotic rhythm, shouts and orders bouncing off the high walls.

But to him, the world had gone silent except for one sound—her breathing.

Shallow. Too shallow.

He dropped to his knees so hard it jarred his bones, the impact echoing faintly in his skull.

October lay there, her back rested on his thighs, her gown torn at the side where blood poured through his fingers. The color spread too fast, soaking the pale fabric, staining his hand with every frantic heartbeat.

“No, no, no—” His voice broke, not with anger, but with fear. The kind that didn’t belong to kings or warriors. “October, look at me. Keep your eyes open.”
She blinked up at him, slow, almost dreamlike. Her lips curved faintly, as though she’d just woken from a long nap.

“Baldwin… you look just like you did the first time we met.”
He shook his head quickly, leaning closer so she wouldn’t waste the strength to speak loudly. “What? You mean when you barged into my camp with that ridiculous proposal?”

Her smile trembled, the smallest shake of her head following. “No… not that. The real one.”
He frowned. “The real one?”
She stared past him, eyes focusing on something only she could see. “The market. It was late… almost dusk. I was walking home, and you were just a man in a dark those ridiculous dark attire. You stopped, asked if I needed help. When i bumped into you”
His brow furrowed deeper. “That wasn’t the first time.”
Her eyes flickered back to him, confused. “Then when—?”
“The road south of the river,” he said quietly, as if it were a secret. “You were sitting barefoot under an old elm, eating bread you’d bought from the bakery in the village market place. I passed by on horseback. You didn’t even see me.”
Her lips parted in surprise, a faint, breathless laugh escaping. “…That was you?”
“That was me,” he confirmed, a ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth despite the blood pooling beneath them. “You had crumbs on your cheek. I remember thinking you looked like trouble.”

Her chest rose in a fragile laugh that was more air than sound. “You… are still… the most handsome man I’ve ever met.”
He closed his eyes briefly, pressing his forehead to hers. “Don’t say that now. Say it when you’re standing in front of me, yelling about something I did wrong again.”

Her right hand twitched against the stone. He caught it instantly, wrapping her cold fingers in his blood-warmed ones. He lifted them to his cheek, holding them there like a lifeline.

“In my next life,” she whispered, voice shaking, “I’d choose you again.”
He swallowed hard, his jaw tight. “You don’t have to wait for a next life. You have this one. With me.”

Her gaze softened, almost glowing despite the fading strength in her eyes. “Baldwin… I need to tell you something.”
“You can tell me when you’re better.” His voice was firm, almost commanding. “Save your strength.”
“No.” Her tone was barely audible, but that stubborn edge was unmistakable. “Now.”

His heart pounded painfully in his chest, but he gave a slight nod. “Alright. Tell me.”
Her lashes lowered, her voice trembling. “I wasn’t born as October. I am not… from here.”
He blinked, not understanding. “What do you mean?”
“I had another life,” she said, pausing between each word as if they weighed something heavy. “Before this one. I died… and when I opened my eyes, I was here. In her body. The real October… she was already gone.”

His breath caught. “Gone?”
“She took her own life,” October whispered. “The day I woke up… she had just ended hers. Due to the constant bullying. I opened my eyes, and her hands were mine. But she wasn’t there anymore. Just me.”
Baldwin’s grip on her hand tightened until his knuckles went white. “And you’ve been carrying that alone all this time?”
Her eyes glistened faintly. “We were never meant to meet, Baldwin. Never meant to fall in love. Never meant to have Elara.”

“That’s not true,” he said fiercely, his voice breaking in a way he didn’t care to hide. “I don’t care what fate says. You’re here. We met. I love you. That’s all that matters.”

Her lips curved slightly at the word love, the faintest sigh escaping her. “Promise me something.”
“Anything,” he said instantly.
“Take care of Elara. Tell her her mother loved her… even if she was never supposed to exist. Tell her… she was the best thing I ever had.”
He shook his head hard. “No. You’ll tell her yourself. I won’t promise something like that because you’re not—”
“Promise,” she interrupted, her voice barely above a whisper.
His chest felt like it was caving in. “…I promise.”
She gave a weak nod, relief softening her features. “Tell her… I would have chosen her too. In any life.”
Baldwin’s thumb brushed over her knuckles. “And me?”
Her eyes met his one last time. “You most of all.”
Her breathing hitched, then slowed.
“October. Don’t close your eyes. Look at me.”

She did for a moment, lips parting as though to say something else, but no sound came.
“October!” His roar cracked through the hall, raw and jagged. It bounced off the walls, unanswered.
Somewhere far away, healers’ voices were calling, but he didn’t move. He stayed there, holding her against him, memorizing the weight of her in his arms as though he could anchor her here by will alone.