Chapter Six

Jace:

I wait until she’s under the mistletoe with me before I give her a real kiss. That one was just a warm-up, but this is certainly the main event. I pull her into my arms. She’s a little stiff, but she doesn’t pull away. I’m not sure if her anger propels her to share the mistletoe with me, or if part of her is aware of what she’s doing when she steps under with me. Either way, I’m not gentlemanly enough to pass on this opportunity.

For a moment, her lips remain stiff against mine, but I pull her closer, and she relaxes into me. Her lips mold to mine, and heat scorches every nerve ending in my body. My tongue dips into her mouth, playfully at first. I just want a taste, but that’s not nearly enough.

She’s addictive, and her tongue sweeps across mine as we duel for supremacy, both of us stubborn. That it only heightens my pleasure, and I hope it’s the same for her as we continue to spar for who will have the upper hand.

In the end, I’m not sure which of us surrenders first. We just sort of melt into each other, and the kiss that had a faintly aggressive edge just becomes pure ecstasy. She tastes so good, and I can’t get enough of her. I pull her even closer, though that should be impossible, and our tongues caress each other.

I have to touch her, and I can’t control the urge. My hands move from her back to her sides, sliding down her curves before I move my hands inward, partially cupping her breasts and rubbing my thumbs across her nipples.

With a gasp, Alexis suddenly rears back away from me, cradling her mouth and looking at me like I betrayed her.

I’m confused by the reaction, and I’m frustrated by the mixed signals. “If you don’t like me, why the hell do you want me so much?”

Her eyes widen, and her anger is visible. “You’re an arrogant piece of work. You kissed me.”

I chuckle. “You’re certainly kissing back, Alexis. So, which is it? Do you hate me, or do you want me?”

She glares at me, refusing to answer as she turns away. She busies herself straightening items in the sitting room that don’t really need to be straightened. I follow behind her, deliberately messing up the things she just straightened until she turns to glare at me, hands on her hips.

The way her chest heaves, I can’t look away from her breasts for a moment. They might be covered by that ugly Christmas sweater, but I can just imagine what’s underneath, and the thought makes my cock ache even harder. “Why are you so upset with me? Ever since the moment I walked in, I can tell you don’t want me here, but I don’t know why. I’ve tried apologizing—”

She scoffs. “You apologized, but for the wrong reason.”

I frown. “How can my sincere apology be for the wrong reason? I’ve acknowledged being a brat to you when we were growing up. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

She shakes her head. “Unbelievable. You don’t even know why I’m upset. You don’t remember, so what difference does it make anyway?” With those cryptic words, she moves past me to right the items that I had just moved out of alignment, including a stack of homey magazines on the coffee table carved from the trunk of a tree.

“What have I forgotten? It’s been years, Alexis. Stop making me guess.”

She ignores that, other than to give me a chilling sneer. She moves to the bookshelf, dusting and arranging the books, though they seem fine to me.

I follow behind, casually pulling the spines out a little bit, enjoying irritating her. I shouldn’t be taking so much pleasure in it, but I’m frustrated that she won’t open up to me and explain why she seems to hate me now. I might as will give her a reason to hate me, right?

Of course, I must’ve already done so. I furrow my brow, trying to remember some of the worst things I did to Alexis. “Are you upset that I pushed you into the pond when we were around fourteen—which would’ve made you twelve?” I refer to the incident that happened near the waterfall.

Our secret place to meet my friends remains just that, but we spent lots of hot summers up at the falls, including with the tire swing that Annie’s father replaced annually from his shop. There was an incline, and it wasn’t uncommon for us to swing and then jump into the water. One time, I pushed her in when she was particularly annoying me. She hadn’t been seriously injured, but she got a bruise on her stomach from the way she landed, and I’d been grounded for a few weeks for that. I figure she might still be carrying a grudge.

She scowls for a minute, appearing to be thinking about something, and then she laughs. Unfortunately, there’s not much amusement in the tone. “You think I’m still hung up on that? That was a long time ago.”

I search in my memory, trying to think of any other incident where I was particularly awful to her. There’s only one other that comes to mind. “Is this about the time I dumped a Coke on you because you wouldn’t leave us alone at the arcade?”

Alexis rolls her eyes. “Of course not. Stop guessing.”

I gnash my teeth. “I’ll stop guessing when you tell me what I did to piss you off so badly. Just tell me, Alexis,” I say more emphatically as I put a hand on her shoulder, encouraging her to turn to me. “Please. I really want to know.” My voice softens, and I hope my sincerity comes through. I genuinely want to know why she seems upset with me, especially since that kiss was such an earthshaking experience.

With a sigh of exasperation, she tosses her hands in the air and looks up for a moment, as though she’s pleading for patience. “Fine, whatever. It was at the prom.”

I scrunch my brow. “Prom? Did we ever go to the same prom? You were two years behind me in school.”

She grits her teeth. “It was your senior prom, and my date was also a senior. I was a sophomore. Danny cut out pretty early in the evening to go smoke weed with his idiot friends, so I was basically there alone. I had one other friend at the whole dance, and she was there with a senior boy of her own. I was lonely and miserable, so you and Jamie came over to check on me. You told me you’d dance with me a little later, but then you never did. You just ignored me for the rest the night while you got all tangled up in Tina Weinstock.”

My eyes widen as she clues me in, and I honestly struggle for a moment to recall anything of the evening she’s describing. I barely even remember Tina Weinstock, let alone taking her to prom, but her image jumps into my mind a minute later. After that, I have a vaguer recollection yet of the incident Alexis is talking about, and I groan softly. “I’m sorry I let you down, Alexis, but I forgot.”

I can tell right away I’ve said the wrong thing when she scoffs and glares at me. “No kidding. I understand you were on a date, but it was a miserable experience for me. I waited the whole night when I could’ve left early, enduring being alone and pitying looks, along with some sarcastic comments from the older girls, all so I could have a dance with you. And then you forgot about it, completely blowing me off.” She shakes her head, and her residual anger is still obvious, along with an underlying thread of hurt.

For a moment, it seems ridiculously petty to me. I’m on the verge of reminding her that was ten years ago, but I hold back. The wounded look in her eyes suggests treating this flippantly will completely eradicate any chance of making it up to her. To me, it seems silly, but it’s obvious it meant a lot to her.

The question is why? Why did she care so much about dancing with me that she waited around when she was having a miserable time? I might be a guy, but it doesn’t take even me very long to realize the answer. Alexis had a crush on me back then.

I can feel my lips pulling into a smile, though I try to resist.

Her eyes narrow when she sees me start to grin. “Don’t you dare make fun of me. It was a traumatic event, and that’s why I was and am upset. You completely forgot about it. Not that it matters now, since I don’t want anything to do with you.”

I’m not buying that for a minute. That she’s still upset all these years later suggests there might be some lingering feelings for me. She’s certainly not immune to me physically, and I definitely respond to her.

Christmas suddenly seems a lot brighter as I imagine spending the rest of my time exploring Alexis’s lovely body and seeing what other secrets she’s keeping from me. I can’t help my wide grin. “You had a crush on me.”

She shakes her head, looking disgusted as she moves away from me, continuing to preoccupy herself with items in the room that don’t really require attention. I suspect it’s a way to avoid looking at me and revealing the truth on her face. “Don’t be stupid. You’re my brother’s best friend. You spent so much time in my house, you would’ve been like a brother.”

“Like a brother isn’t the same thing as a brother.” As I say that, I lean closer, pleased by how her fingers tremble on the book she’s fussing with. “You wanted me then, and it’s clear you want me now.”

She turns to glare at me. “I was a stupid kid in love with someone way out of my league, Jace. It was a long time ago.”

I’m a little startled at the word love, having dismissed it as hormones and a crush, and I suspect that’s what it still is. She couldn’t possibly have loved me at sixteen. I didn’t know who I was then, and she was likely in the same situation. Whatever she thought was love must have been nothing more than a pale imitation of it, if I believed in love anyway. I believe in lust, and hormones, and foolish decisions made in the heat of the moment, but I don’t believe in love.

“You didn’t love me.”

She shrugged a shoulder. “It felt like it at the time, but I’m sure you’re right. I certainly don’t anymore, and I don’t want you, so just leave me alone.”

I smirk to show I’m pursuing this. “Prove it.”

She turns to glare at me. “Prove what?”

“Prove you don’t want me. Kiss me again, this time of your own volition. You set the pace, and if I’m convinced you’re not into it, I’ll never bring this up again.”

She glares at me. “You can just not bring it up again anyway, because I’m telling you not to. Your ego must be insanely large to be this upset about it. I. Don’t. Want. You.” She says the words firmly and slowly, as though I’m an idiot. “I don’t have to prove anything.”

Rather than be offended by her words or her tone, I laugh. “That’s because you know you can’t prove anything. The minute our mouths touch, it’s going to be just like it was before. You’ll be burning with desire for me, and I’ll feel the same way.”

She grits her teeth, clearly being pushed to the edge of her control. The idea of seeing Alexis out of control, especially in a passionate setting, intrigues me, and I lean forward, parting my mouth in a tempting fashion. “I dare you.”

She rolls her eyes. “What am I? Twelve? I don’t care if you dare me. I’m done with this.”

I take a step back, giving her a moment to compose herself. “It’s fine. I know the truth, and that is you want me. I won’t to forget that, Alexis.” It’s only fair to give her warning now that she’s in my sights.

I walk out of the sitting room, still thinking about the kisses we just shared. They illuminated a lot for me, including the past and why she’s so pissed off at me. I guess I can’t blame her, but I also can’t help thinking there’s more to it than just a simple crush if she’s still angry a decade later.

That makes me stumble, and I realize I’m playing a dangerous game was Alexis. I might want her physically, but that’s all it will ever be. She’s not really the fling type. I can tell that by the kind of life she lives, and the family she comes from.

Thinking of her family inevitably leads to thoughts of Jamie, and I wince. I basically betrayed his trust a few minutes ago. It’s not like he’s Alexis’s chastity police, or that she’s a virgin by any means, but I’m sure he doesn’t like the idea of me with Alexis.

He’s already sort of warned me off enough and had suspicions when I asked about her. I can’t blame him. It’s no secret that I don’t do relationships, and I’m not going to change that for anyone. Even as tempting as Alexis is, with her perfect curves and curly blonde hair, I’m not going to settle down.

My parents more than amply showed me that kind of love it doesn’t exist. It’s just something people fool themselves into believing in until they’re trapped. Once they’re in a marriage, it’s a lot harder to get out, so they dig in and make each other more miserable. Fuck that. I wouldn’t do that to myself or to Alexis.

So, tempting her and teasing her is a bad idea. I can’t imagine she’ll be okay with just a physical relationship. Getting mixed up with me will just hurt her, so the right thing to do is to pull back and pretend like we’re acquaintances and nothing more. I definitely have no right to try to tempt her into changing her mind or admitting she still wants me. Even if she does want me as much as I want her, I can’t act on it. It would definitely be the wrong thing to do.

I turn around at her grudging response behind me. I arch a brow. “Fine?” What is she talking about?

She marches toward me, hands on her hips as she stops a foot away from me. “Fine, I’ll prove it. I don’t want you, and after this, you’ll drop it. Right?”

I open my mouth to tell her it’s not necessary, that I’ve decided to drop the subject and avoid any temptation, but instead, I say, “Yeah, sure.”

She must not like my cocky tone, because she moves forward quickly, bunching the front of my shirt to drag me toward her. I let her, trying to remain passive as I’d agreed. She tugs on my shirt, encouraging me to lower my head, so I do. She’s on her tiptoes, and her lips touch mine. It’s a very chaste kiss, and it shouldn’t do anything to reignite my libido, but just having her nearby is enough to make my cock throb again with need.

She whispers something against my lips, and then she moans. After that, the kiss changes from tame to anything but. Another round of soft lips and straining tongues. I try to let her set the pace as agreed, but it isn’t too long before I take over.

I cup her cheeks in my hands, holding her close to me as I kiss her with every ounce of passion I’m feeling. She can’t hold back either, and she clings to me.

I’m the one who pushes her away, remembering my thoughts from just before she kissed me again. I can’t do this. It’s unfair to her, and it would be too big of a risk to my friendship with Jamie. Alexis deserves a whole lot better than me. I take a step back, ignoring the little mewl that leaves her at our parting. “I guess you proved me wrong then.” I don’t say it sarcastically. I keep my voice level and light. “I promise not to bring it up again.”

Her mouth drops open, and she looks devastated for a moment. Then she blinks and appears confused. “I don’t understand you, Jace.”

I shrug a shoulder. “That’s okay. I don’t understand me either sometimes.” I turn and walk away from her, though it’s difficult to do so. Part of me is determined to do the right thing here, but another part of me, one I’m afraid I might not be able to resist, wants to see what happens. That part is encouraging me to go with the flow and see what Alexis does next. If she initiates the affair, then it’s completely her choice, right? Is it wrong to give her what she wants?

Conflicted on that answer, I leave the B&B, walking aimlessly down the road before reaching Main Street. I shudder at the thought of strolling across all the Christmas decor, but I need to clear my head. I have to know what I’m doing and have a plan of action before I see Alexis again.