CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

"Please say something," Thomas says, still on his knees

"Are you sick?" I place my hand on his forehead and check if his temperature is high

"I am not sick, Mi amore" He removes my hand from his forehead

"You are definitely sick. You just called me your love."

"That's because you are Melina. You are the love of my life."

"Is this some new way of torture because I don't understand why you are saying all of these?"

"I think I need to explain everything. I know what you did."

"What did I do."

"I know why you stole my money for James."

"You do" I find it hard to believe a little because what I expected from him, knowing the truth, is not what I am getting.

"Yes, Mi amore. I know what you did to protect me" Thomas squeezes my hand as his shoulders drop. Thomas seems to really know what happened. Did his mom tell him? Perhaps she did, but why isn't he angry like I expected him to be? Why is he sad?

"Do you believe what you were told?"

"Yes, I am so sorry I wasn't there for you.......... twice" My heart drops into a bottomless pit once the word 'twice' leaves Thomas's mouth. He truly knows James killed our babies. Why is he not angry and blaming me for what happened? I am so confused.

"I am sorry."

"For what?" Thomas asks confused

"For making you lose a child twice" Tears begin to sting the back of my eyes as I think about my lost babies.

"How can you blame yourself for what happened?" Thomas abruptly stands up from the floor. He grabs my face into his palm and makes me look him in the eyes.

"I don't know why you would blame yourself for something that is totally not your fault, but since you do, I will be the one to tell you that you have no damn reason to blame yourself for the loss of our babies. If anyone should be blamed, it's that motherfucker that will be dead the second I see him. He is the one at fault for the loss of our babies. Not you, definitely not you." Thomas takes one of his hands away from my cheeks and gently strokes my hair.

"I wish I could believe your words, but I am why James is in your life. If I never came into your life, you won't have to deal with the loss of a child."

"You are forgetting Rafael is the one who helped James kidnap you. I know Rafael isn't the one who asked James to kill our baby, but another enemy of mine might so don't blame yourself for something you couldn't control. Please don't do that to yourself."

I don't say anything for a good minute. I just watch Thomas as he continues to stroke my hair. I can't believe he doesn't blame me for the loss of our children. I even wonder how he knew I was pregnant again. Maybe he put two and two together while I was gone. I also can't believe he knows I didn't steal his money because I wanted to but did it to protect him. I always assumed he won't believe me. I am so happy he does. I really thought he would never believe me.

"Why are you crying, Melina?" Thomas wipes away the tears that are rolling down my cheeks. I don't even know when I started crying.

"It's just too unbelievable that you believe what your mother told you happened and don't blame me for the loss of our babies."

"I was a fool for not believing you when you were honest from the beginning. I would never blame you for something that is entirely not your fault."

"Thank you. It means a lot to me that you believe me and don't blame me."

"You are always welcome, Mi amore," Thomas pecks my forehead.

Thomas spends the next few hours taking care of me. He ensured I was comfortable, fed, and answered all my requests. Even though I know the reason for the sudden change in his behavior towards me, I still find it a little unbelievable. The most incomprehensible thing is the fact that he claims he still loves me. I never thought that was possible after everything that happened these past few months. The only feeling I felt he would feel for me ever again was hatred. I didn't even think love was possible again. Thomas hated me beyond words. The suffering I endured because of his disdain for me is still fresh in my memory. As I stare at him as he feeds me dinner, I can't seem to answer the question. I know he is dying to know my answer. Do I forgive him for what he did to me? Can I forgive him? And the most difficult one to answer. Should I forgive him? I wish someone could answer these questions for me because I am totally clueless about how to answer them right now. I know I still have lingering feelings for Thomas, but is that enough for me to forgive him and forget everything that happened? I suffered a lot these past few months. I am happy he knows the truth and doesn't blame me, but I don't know if I will forgive him for what he did to me.

***

The following day I ask Thomas to take me over to where Franky is staying. Thomas says she is still in a coma, and the doctors don't know when she will wake up. I thank Thomas after he finishes arranging the pillows behind my back on the chair next to Franky's bed. My wounds are still fresh, and as much as Thomas would like me to be in bed resting. I just had to check up on Franky. He kisses my forehead before walking out.

Tears fill my eyes as I grab her hand. The tears streaming down my face are both happy and sad tears. I am so glad she could get proper treatment, and she will be fine, but I am sad because I feel guilty about her condition.

"Hello, Franky" I rest my chin on our joined hands. "How are you doing today?"

"I am sure you are doing the same" I snort a little, wiping away my tears

"I miss you. I really wish you would wake up soon."

"There is so much I wish to tell you."

More tears flow down my face as my voice echoes in the room.

"I am sure you hate me. I would hate myself too if I were the reason for your condition."

"Even if I wanted to hate you, I couldn't because I love you too much," A voice, not mine, says in the room.

My eyes shoot up from the floor I was staring at while talking. They lock with a pair of greyish blue eyes identical to mine.

"Fr-r-anky," I quickly rush out of my seat and pull her into a hug. The second her arms wrap around me, a wince escapes my lips, but I ignore the pain. I am too happy to see her awake to acknowledge the pain in my back.

"You are hurt!" She sounds surprised as she realizes this

"It's nothing," I tell her as I take back my seat

"He promised me he won't hurt you."

"Who"

"James"

"I am not surprised he lied to you."

"I can't believe he hurt you after everything I did to ensure he wouldn't."

"I am sorry you had to go through what you did because of me. Franky, I am truly sorry for all your suffering these past few days."

"You don't have to apologize to me, Mel" She places her hand on my cheek. "You are my baby sister; I will always protect you" She gives me a soft smile.

"Thank you and me too" I place my hand above hers and give her a little smile back. "I will always protect you."

I spend the rest of the day with Franky. The only reason I even leave her room is because I have to change my wound dressing. I plan to move into her room and take care of her while she recovers.

***

I walk downstairs from my room to the kitchen. I recently moved from the infirmary into a room next door to Thomas. I am almost healed that my back doesn't ache much when moving around. I sit on one of the stools in the kitchen with the glass of orange juice I just poured for myself. As I drop the glass on the counter, Kat walks into the kitchen.

"There you are," She says, walking toward me

"Here I am," I reply, smiling

"I have been looking for you everywhere."

"Really," I ask, wondering why

"Yes, I hope you are not doing anything today."

"No, I'm not. Do you need me for something?"

"Kind of"

"What do you need me for?"

"I need you to come with me to the mall."

"Oh," I wasn't expecting her to say that.

"I need you to come with me because we are going to get you a dress for the gala on Saturday."

"I don't think that's a good idea" The Costanzo family will be holding their annual charity gala this Saturday. I am not surprised Kat wants me to come. I don't think it's a good idea for me to go to the gala because of Thomas. He might have forgiven me, but the humiliation I caused him for what I did is enough to tell me he won't want me to attend his family event.

"Why would you think so?"

"Because of what happened between Thomas and me."

"That's all in the past, dear. Thomas knows the truth now."

"I know, but everyone doesn't. He might not want people to know he has forgiven me so he won't look weak in front of them."

"Oh dear, you shouldn't worry about such. Most people attending the ball don't know what happened between you guys, and even if they did. It's none of their business if Thomas decides to have you back in his life again."

"Hmmmm"

Kat seems sure about her words, but I am a little worried. I know Thomas used his business associates to find me. I can bet word must have spread around the mafia world why he was looking for me. Reputation is everything to mafia men. I know I put a stain on Thomas's when I stole his money. A lot of people called him weak for what happened. I don't want to attend the ball and ruin things between us. Many people who know who I am will gossip that night if they see me there. That could make Thomas angry with me again, and I don't want that.

"I understand your concerns, but I can assure you. You have nothing to worry about."

"Really," I ask, biting my lip.

"Yes, Thomas was even the one who asked me to help you get a dress."

"Really, you aren't the one who wants me to attend the gala."

"Of course, I want you to come, dear, but I believe Thomas does more."

"Wow, I am surprised."

"You shouldn't be. Thomas wants the world to know you are his again."

"Hmm, wow"

"Yes, dear," Kat say, smiling

I swallow a lump that forms in my throat as I repeat the words 'His' in my head. I love how things are between Thomas and me, but I don't know if I want to be his just yet.