Chapter 49

She fled, stumbling, toward the patch of forest. Toward her little cabin.

Correction. Cole’s cabin. You’re nothing but a guest here. A mooching, non-contributing guest.

She couldn’t bear it.

She’d just started to do better for herself, after that train-wreck of a breakup with the man she was supposed to spend the rest of her life with.

And then, that hell of an accident. The scars had obliterated what beauty she’d had. Damn, she couldn’t imagine anyone actually enjoyed looking at her. It had to be an effort. It was for her. Those dark, purple patches, mottled with an unnatural red. Scaly. She’d been pretty, really pretty. Eyes that sparkled. Men, even women had commented on them.

But now, the skin around her one eye was marred. Then the marks veered off deep into her hairline, though she had thick hair and it hid them well. They wound down the side of her face. Snaked downward, so damn low…

And now, on top of it all? She couldn’t afford her own damn keep.

No matter how hard she’d worked, no matter how much it meant to her. The vagaries of publishing in the new age. One sale, of a much larger entity than her—a company—and it was all over. No matter how good she’d been.

It was, literally, too much to bear.

Cole caught up with her. Grabbed her arm, stopped her wild dash. “No.” She twisted, jerked out of his grasp. “Let me go.”

“Tabby. For God’s own sake, what’s wrong? Tell me.”

The words were too awful to say. But they poured from her, needing to be said. Demanding she accept them, the awful truth of who she’d become.

Her. Top student in university. Award wins racked up throughout life. Some for creativity, others for smarts. Academic golden child.

Her face trembled, her body shook as the terrible words poured from her.

“I can’t pay you for anything. Not my food. Not the gas you use to truck me into town. I can’t pay for any of the things I’m using. It costs money to keep the heat on. The lights on. To take a bath. Cole. I can’t pay for any of it.”

Disbelief flashed across his face, caught in the glare of the harsh moonlight. And then…she saw anger.

Well, duh. Dude’s got principles. Of course he’d be angry. He wouldn’t be into useless losers, not long-term anyway.

He didn’t try to hold her again. Sadness slammed into her now. She knew he was right, but it still hurt. Cut, beyond words. Into her bone, it felt like. Her marrow. The deepest, most hidden parts of her.

Why, oh why can’t I just…

But she was an adult now. Not a babe, who needed nursery stories to believe in. Pretty stories that were not true once you were an adult. Those Grimm fairy tales were more like it. Harsh. Cruel.

A tiny child pressing her nose to a window, filled with Christmas trinkets, found dead on the street in the morning, from neglect. From raw cold.

That was reality. So was this.

She would have turned and walked away, back to that little cabin, except—for that one word. Said so softly, behind her, she could barely hear it, as she’d spun, determined to leave.

But there it was. “Please.”

She half-turned, searched his face. Surprisingly, saw a light sheen, matching hers, in those dark eyes. “What?”

“Don’t go.”

Now she was confused. Don’t go? But she…

“I…” A struggle painted on that face, not even actually handsome in that moment, which shocked her. Just…in pain. “I need you.”

She blinked. Confusion propelled through her. “But Cole. Not only can I not pay you for anything, but I'm not a country girl. I'm about as far removed from country as you’ll get. I’m city. The two cultures don’t meet. It’s not what you want.”

His voice lowered. “Culture doesn't matter. It's something I learned a long time ago.”

Her interest was piqued. “Oh?”

A darkness filled his face. “Don't want to talk about it.”

“But…”

“No. Some things are closed, even to you.”

Understanding dawned in her. He'd served in Afghanistan, Jaclyn had told her. There’d been word, too, that he might be a hero.

She wisely left the subject. She knew she didn't want to talk about the accident. Why should he talk about something as grisly and awful, and on a more massive scale?

“It doesn't change how I feel about you.” He stared at her. And it unsettled her. He looked so intense.

“But…”

“Do you really think, even if I didn’t care for you, that any of that would matter to me? To my family? Tabby, one thing we’ve got, right now at least, is land.” He spread his arms over the vista. “See? Land. Lots of it.”

“But I can’t…”

“We purchase economically, especially now. But we’ve got food put by, preserves. Sacks of potatoes and apples in the cold cellar. Jerky. Damn it, we have cattle, chickens and pigs, and neighbours with them too. We’re careful but we don’t go stingy on food. We can feed ourselves, and a little wisp like you. Hell, Tabby.”

He grabbed her, pulled her close, and she was too shocked, too impelled by the desperate look in his eyes. Something in him was burning. And it was for her.

The words he whispered rolled into her ears, straight to her aching heart. “Do you not think I’d take food out of my own mouth and give it to you? If you needed it?”

“Cole…”

“Oh, shut up, woman. Sometimes you think, and talk, entirely too much. A woman like you isn’t made for fear. For terror. Or damn it all, for self-doubt.”

“What the hell do you…”

But the look in his eyes blazed, stopped her. He was starved. Yearning.

The man wanted her.

“I’ve kept my mouth shut all this while, but I’m speaking now, whether or not you like it. You, Tabitha, are made for loving. You’ve held me back all these weeks, but tonight, it feels like it’s just too damn long. Tabitha Grey, I’m telling you here and now. I mean to kiss you like you’ve never been kissed before. And more.” His voice went hoarse and she saw the silhouette of his face, large against the even larger nighttime British Columbia sky. He stopped, an odd look suffusing his face.

She realized, as his gaze dropped to the stable floor, he looked uncertain. As if he was butting up against big emotions, and as if he’d said possibly more than he’d meant to say.

A man like him could be uncertain too? She understood it in her case. What did she really have to offer?

But Cole? Wonder, surprise filtered through her.

His words pulled at her. Unexpectedly, she realized…she wanted him. But it had to be as equals. Not a pity lay, nor an opportunity lay. Hope struggled in her, to exist. A flash of it. She wanted to believe him.

His gaze rose to her face, and there was a curious sweetness in it. “Tabby. I admire you the way I’ve never admired another woman. The way you treat others, the way you handle your affairs. You’re so independent, so determined to not put a burden on any other soul. You’re like no other woman I’ve ever met before.”

“Cole, I…”

He shook his head, a gentle smile on his face. “If tonight’s not the night, fine. But know this. Tomorrow morning when you wake up, here at Dawson Ridges, and every other damn morning for the next little calendar bit of forever, I’ll be here. Waiting. For you.”

“But I’m…”

“…a damn beautiful and capable woman, inside and out. And don’t ever forget.” His voice grew tough, as if male pride was involved. “We take care of our own, out here on the Ridges. I’m here for you. All six feet ten of me. I’m not going anywhere. That is, except for the damn pond to freeze my bejeebers off if you send me away tonight.”

How the hell had he done it? He’d transitioned her from freaked out scared to undressing him with her eyes, wanting to be held by those strong arms, pressed against his naked chest.

“And if I don’t want to…send you away?”

“Then we’re off to your bed, so I can lick you all over. Without any of that hellacious makeup on. I’m telling you, woman. Make your decision and make it fast. Cause pretty soon all three of us here,” he threw a quick glance in the general direction of the jeans he was sporting that were suddenly way too tight, “are not going to be contained. Decide.”

She looked at him, aware he was hanging on her every breath. And just like that, the decision was made. It wasn’t even a decision anymore, just the eventuality they’d been travelling toward since the first moment they’d laid eyes on each other.

“In that case, Cowboy, I only have one thing to say to you.”

“Oh?” His eyes burned, his voice deep and hoarse.

She threw a wisp of a smile at him, the seductress in her arising. Her voice came out throaty and thick. “Get ready to ride.”