Chapter 32-2

"And you think I'm not?" she said. "I am, too. But I think that's to be expected, considering he's our first kid." "Not to mention everything else we've been through in the past few months," I added. "There's that, too. But I also know locking ourselves up in the apartment with Milo and throwing away the key isn't the best way to go about this either." "I never said I wanted to do any of that." "Yeah, but you're thinking it. I've learned to read you like an open book, Archer." I dug my teeth into my lip to keep from sighing. There was no point in denying it. "Fine," I said. "So I'll go the speed limit now. Just make sure - " "I swear I won't take my eyes off Milo the entire time." I was going to say she didn't need to be quite that vigilant, but who was I kidding? It would probably be a good idea if she didn't take her eyes off Milo the entire car ride. For my nerves, at least. We made it into the outskirts of the city just before the after work traffic jam usually began. We only had to make a few unscheduled stops so Hadley could feed Milo and change his diaper. It was a relief to pull into the parking structure of our apartment building with the realization that our home was only three floors above us. It had been far too long since we had been home together without the fear of unspeakable horror hanging over us. "Home at last," Hadley said with a sigh, yanking off her seatbelt. "It feels like it's been a hundred years." "I agree." I got out of the SUV and helped Hadley get Milo's car seat out of the car. Somehow I managed to carry most of our bags from the car and Milo up the three flights of stairs to our apartment, Hadley ahead of me. She unlocked the door to our apartment, and then we were met with my little sisters rushing at us, closely followed by my mother. "We were wondering when you would make it home!" "How are you feeling, Hadley?" "Lemme see that baby!" The relief I felt at seeing my sisters and my mother, alive and unharmed, made the paranoia still bubbling up inside me not quite as debilitating as it had been before. "When did you get here?" I asked them, fighting back a smile. "Early this morning," Mom said, squeezing my shoulder with a wide smile. "We took a cab from JFK." "Can we save the pleasantries for later and let me look at my nephew?" April said excitedly, making grabby hands at Milo. I set the car seat down on the couch and bent down to unbuckle Milo. My sisters immediately started squealing and doing the whole "Aw!" thing. "Excuse me!" Mom said, throwing out a hand to stop the girls from getting any closer. "This is my first grandchild here. I get first priority." I carefully handed Milo - who was still conked out from the car ride - off to her and moved to the side so she could settle herself down on the couch. "How are you doing?" I asked Hadley, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her to my side as my sisters cooed over Milo. "Good," she said, resting her head against my shoulder. "Tired. Could do with a shower." And an explanation is what she didn't add. I wanted to tell Hadley everything. She deserved an explanation, and she needed to know. It wasn't as if it had slipped my mind since Milo had been born, but in the middle of a crowded hospital wasn't exactly the ideal place. Neither was in front of my sisters and mother. Like it or not, it was going to have to wait just a little bit longer. I made Mom and the girls tell me everything about their short trip to Palermo and how our extended family was doing. In return, they demanded to know everything about what happened with Milo's birth. We were only too happy to tell them. I never would've thought that I would be the type of parent that would want to talk non-stop about their kid, but I was surprisingly wrong. It was like I stupidly had to let the entire world know that Milo was my son. And for the first time since I could recall, things felt...normal. Not exactly right, and I wasn't sure if things would ever really feel right, not after everything that had happened to us, but it was a start in the right direction. It was exactly what we needed. Mom and the girls left a few hours later, after a dinner of Chinese take-out, and after we had chatted about what felt like everything under the sun. Milo pretty much slept through the entire visit, except when we had to wake him up again so Hadley could feed him. He had blinked up at his grandmother and aunts with unfocused eyes for a couple of seconds before promptly yawning and passing out on Hadley's shoulder. Falling asleep for the next couple of days sounded totally appealing. The sad thing was that it was time to face reality now. The truth had long since been overdue. "You look like you're about to pass out," I said to Hadley as I lay Milo down in the crib we had set up beside our bed. I knew it was wishful thinking that Milo would always be this sleepy and not all that fussy. It would only be a matter of time before the midnight feedings and diaper changes would happen. Hadley blew out a sigh as she flopped back against the pillows, covering her face with her hands. "I feel like I just drank too many energy drinks." I perched myself on the edge of the bed beside her, reaching out to squeeze her leg. "That bad, huh?" She didn't answer for several moments. Everything unsaid thing was thick in the air between us. Either it was my nerves, or it was getting a little hard to breathe in the room. "Not bad." Hadley took a deep breath. "Weird. It's just...I don't know." I felt myself frown. "What?" She passed a hand over her mouth, refusing to look me in the eye. Despite the fact that being pregnant had made her ten times as emotional as she normally was, I knew she hated crying in front of me. She hated crying in general. And I could tell that she was trying her utmost hardest not to start crying right then. "Hadley?" I said slowly. "Are you - " "I thought you were dead." "What? I - "