Chapter 50 A Queen Among Tides: Chapter Fifty - Sebastian

Chapter 50 A Queen Among Tides: Chapter Fifty - Sebastian
Three days. It’s been three days and Lemuel still hasn’t woken up. I’m going out of my mind. I’ve done everything I possibly can, and that’s not saying much because the truth is, there’s nothing I can do but make him comfortable. We called on makkares who are friendly with our kingdom, to heal Lemuel, but they said there was nothing that could be done. The makkares said that while Lemuel’s curse prevents him from ever truly dying, it also prevents him from being healed by outside influences. It’s like Merlos wanted to make sure he would suffer in every way imaginable throughout his eternal life.

I never hated Merlos for what she did to Lemuel. After learning about his past, I can understand where she comes from, but even humans have prison sentences. I don’t even think Lemuel’s crimes would result in life in prison in a human criminal system, and – not to sound callous – his family died centuries ago. How long is he meant to suffer for something he did so long ago that most of the world’s population didn’t even exist yet? I’m now in agreement with Lemuel, Merlos is a cunt.

I splash water on my face and stare at my reflection in the mirror. My beard is growing out due to a lack of maintenance, I smell questionable, and the bags under my eyes do not look designer. I don’t care though. Grooming and sleep are irrelevant compared to Lemuel’s care. I take a deep breath and step out of the bathroom back into Lemuel’s room and freeze when I see my mother sitting on the bed changing the cloth over Lemuel’s forehead while being careful not to touch his skin.

She looks over and gives me a gentle smile, “I came to check on you and his towel seemed dry, so I thought I’d refresh it.”

“Thank you,” I say with a gracious nod as I walk over, my eyes taking over Lemuel’s comatose state. The medics helped me tend to his wounds, since given what he is, we couldn't risk letting anyone else touch him. I see to be safe though. Unfortunatel, we have to wait for them to heal at a human rate. It also means I have to spend each day staring at the marks on his body caused by the fact Circe dare lay her disgusting hands on me. That’s definitely up there on things I find hard to handle these days.

“You still haven’t eaten,” my mother points out, looking over at the trays of uneaten meals on the nightstand.

“I haven’t been hungry,” I say as I climb back on the bed and sit beside Lemuel as I gently caress his cheek. I take a slow relaxing breath as I once again let the electricity of our touch soothe me. I make sure to stay close and keep a hand on him at all times. I only stop when I need the bathroom or fall asleep briefly. They say our bond will speed up his healing, and I really hope that’s true. I worry that since external forces won’t help him heal, my presence won’t either. But so far it has seemed like Zarseti has found loopholes around Merlos’ magic and I’m hoping this is one of them. It might not be much, but if my being close can ease his pain, then I’m staying put.

“Sebastian, honey, you need to eat,” my mother says with concern.

“How can I eat? The thought of eating while he’s like this makes me sick.”

“I understand that,” she sighs as she adjusts the towel on his head, “But he won’t be happy when he comes to and finds you’ve been neglecting your care.”

“If he wakes up,” I say morosely.

“I won’t have any of that talk. Lemuel is going to be fine, but he has the body of a human who is carrying the magical weight of a God. He needs time to heal, and when his body is ready, he will wake up. But he went through all this to ensure you were okay; letting yourself waste away is an insult to what he went through for you,” she gently scolds me.

Guilt worms its way around my stomach. My mother’s right. Lemuel is in this state because he was dragged into my drama and saved me. Making his suffering for nothing would be an insult. I take a deep breath and look over at the new tray with a small bowl on top.

“What did you bring?”

Mother gives me a warm smile, “Just some fakes soupa. You haven’t eaten in three days, so I felt soup would be the best option for your stomach,” she says as she gets up, collects the tray, and walks over placing it on my lap. She brushes my hair back and places a gentle kiss on my forehead, “Eat what you can.”

“Efcharistó mitéra,” I say with all the gratitude I can muster as I take her hand and kiss the back of it.

“My poor sweet boy,” she sighs, “You don’t deserve this. Neither of you do.”

“Why are you being so good to him? You and father. Not to sound ungrateful, because I’m extremely grateful, but why?”

“He’s your animai. As far as I’m concerned that makes him my son now too,” she says warmly. I feel the tears filling my eyes as my throat constricts. I hoped this day would come; where my parents would see reason and come to accept Lemuel and love him as I do. I just wish it wasn’t like this.

“Thank you for caring about him. I know he feels like he doesn’t deserve to have anyone care for him, but he’s wrong,” I say, wrapping a protective arm around him.

“He saved my son. There is nothing he doesn’t deserve in my eyes. He’ll make a fine King,” she says proudly.

My head snaps up to look at her in astonishment, “King? You… You accept me taking him as my King?” I choke out.

She sighs, “For a very long time your father and I were what our people needed. We did our best for them and for you, but we both acknowledge that we’re no longer what the people need. But you and Lemuel are. It’s time for us to step aside and let the two of you lead our people into a new era as only you can, and I can see already our people are in very capable hands,” she smiles down at me, her cerulean eyes swimming with pride.

Those tears finally break the waterline, but I can’t find the words to speak. Those words just lifted a giant weight off my chest and from this day forward, I will never ever forget them.

Mother places another loving kiss on my forehead, “Eat up and try and get a little bit of sleep. Watching him sleep won’t make him wake faster so you may as well rest,” she encourages me.

“I suppose a little shut-eye won’t kill me,” I admit.

“I’ll come check on you later. I’d still like to check the dressing on the back of his head,” she says with concern.

“I wish he knew how loved and cared for he is right now,” I sigh sadly.

“If you know it, then he shall too,” she smiles and then proceeds to leave the room.

I take in another deep breath and lean down planting a kiss on Lemuel’s forehead, “I am not having you wake up just so you can scold me,” I tell him as I begin taking in mouthfuls of my favourite soup, “See? I’m eating. I know if you were awake you’d be all proper and judging me for being careless and childish. Well, I’m eating now, so you can’t,” I say, poking my tongue out as I take another spoonful of my soup and feel each hot gulp spread through my body.

Once I finish the bowl, I set the tray down and dive under the covers and snuggle up to Lemuel planting a light kiss on his cheek, “I know you need to heal but… just come back to me, okay? I need you,” I whisper softly before I close my eyes and let myself drift off into a deep and much-needed sleep.



I  begin to stir awake when I feel the sheets around me being moved and the sensation of someone touching my hair. I startle awake only to look up at the concerned face of my father, and only then do I begin to relax.

“Sorry, son. You were shivering in your sleep, so I was just tucking you in more,” he says kindly.

I rub my eyes and look over at the clock only to realise it’s eight in the morning. I slowly sit up with a yawn and immediately look down only to find Lemuel still unchanged and my heart instantly sinks. He just looks like he’s sleeping peacefully without a care, and yet the sight of it wounds me every time I open my eyes to find him exactly how he was when I closed my eyes.

I run my fingers through my hair and lean my head against the headboard. Five days now and still no change. I feel like I’m on the brink of screaming and ripping my hair out. I don’t know how much longer I can take this.

“I know this is a lot for anyone to bear. Seeing your soulmate in pain… there’s no greater torment,” my father says sympathetically.

“Can say that again,” I sigh. “What are you doing in here?”

“I wanted to check on you both, see if there was any change, but I see there isn’t,” he says compassionately.

“I’m still getting used to this new tune of yours,” I try to say teasingly, but it comes off harsher than I intended.

My father lets out a deep exhale and runs his fingers through his hair, “I did not remotely handle any of this correctly. I’m not going to make excuses for my actions, but one day when you become a father you’ll understand that from the moment you hold your child in your arms, the world around you becomes a terrifying place.”

“Are you saying my being gay terrified you?” I ask dubiously.

“Yes,” he answers bluntly. No sugar coating it, no tip-toeing around the subject just open honesty. “Can I ask why?”

Father sits on the edge of the bed and rests his elbows on his knees, “Your whole life I have known how to protect you and prepare you for everything life was going to throw at you. Then you told us you were gay and that meant a whole new set of dangers and obstacles I didn’t know how to protect you from, and that terrified me. I just didn’t understand it.”

“You didn’t try to. You immediately went into denial and then tried to change me. You never actually stopped to understand me,” I point out.

He nods sombrely, “You’re absolutely right. I let my fear take over and it resulted in me saying things and treating you in ways I will feel ashamed of for the rest of my life. Fear can make us do stupid fucking things, and I know it doesn’t make sense, but I was so afraid of this unknown future of yours that it turned me into the thing you needed protecting from,” he admits with tears filling his eyes, “You are my boy. It doesn’t matter how old you get, you will always be my boy, and to know I’m the one who hurt you; that I’m what you need protecting from… it sickens me more than you could ever know.” He wipes away his tears and sniffs through his stuffy sinuses.

I watch my father through my own watery eyes as I take in what he’s saying. In some fucked up way, what he says makes sense. So many people fear what they don’t understand and it’s strange to think that he loved me so much that it made his fear so great it rebounded back on him. After all, how many times do we see that in life? Helicopter parents who are so afraid of losing their children or seeing them hurt, that they keep them on such a tight leash it pushes their children away. I’ve always said my father isn’t a bad man or King and has doted on me and protected me my whole life. It was just this one thing he could accept. So hearing his explanation does fill in a lot of blanks.

“I could never understand why there was this one thing about me that you hated.”

My father looks at me with a pained expression, “I have never hated you. Not a single day of your life. Sebastian, I love you and I am so proud of you, even more so for being you even when I tried to break you down. I just hope you can forgive me in time,” he says with tears swimming in his grey eyes.

“Of course, I forgive you,” I choke out, much to my father’s surprise, “You’re my father and I love you; I don’t want to fight with you, I fucking hate fighting with you. I just wanted my parents back and to feel accepted by you,” I say as tears slip down my cheeks only to get lost in my beard.

My father lunges over and pulls me to his chest wrapping his arms tight around me like he’s afraid I’ll disappear. I cling to my father just as tight and take comfort in his embrace, and I can hear from his breathing we are both struggling to keep back the tears.

“I am so sorry that I let you down, but I’m going to do better,” he pulls back cupping my face and pressing his forehead to mine, “I won’t let you down again.”

I squeeze his forearms as I nod taking in shuddering breaths, “I believe you.”

“And when Lemuel wakes up I promise to apologise for everything I said to him.”

I smile appreciatively, “That would mean a lot.”

He wipes away my tears with his thumbs and gives me a kiss on my forehead, his beard brushing against my skin reminding me of every kiss goodnight I received as a child and instantly putting me at ease.

“You know summoning Ezillus was a ballsy move. Only a true King would have the guts to do that,” he says with a wry smile.

“Desperate times called for desperate measures.”

“Truth be told, if your grandfather had done to your mother what I did to Lemuel, I would have done the exact same thing. You’re more like your old man than you think,” he says patting my cheek.

“I take that as a compliment,” I smile.

“How’s about I…”

His words trail off as a deep frown takes up his brow and he starts looking far away and I know right away something is going on with mother.

“What’s wrong? Is mother alright?” I ask anxiously.

He nods, “She’s fine, she’s just… I should go check on her,” he says getting up, “But once I’m done I’ll bring you something to eat. I assume you won’t be leaving the room again.”

“Not until he wakes up,” I say firmly.

“I suspected as much. I’ll go see how your mother is and then I’ll bring you some food, just hold tight,” he says turning and exiting the room.

I can’t help that sinking feeling, which frankly, I’m getting really sick and tired of, but here it is again, only now it’s for my mother. Father is rarely concerned or alarmed about anything to do with my mother, and if he is then it has me worried. I don’t think I can take more bad news right now. If someone comes and tells me something has happened to my mother, that’s going to be the straw that broke the sea horse’s back.

I slide back down under the covers and reach out and hold Lemuel’s hand in mine and watch his breathing and focus on the comfort of his warm hand in mind. I let out bond bring me comfort and put my nerves at is. Even unconscious he’s the only thing that keeps me from falling apart.