Chapter 76 Chapter Seventy-Six - Gabriella
PRESENT
“Is Jartre alright?” I frantically ask, my final memory of that dagger aiming for Jartre filling my mind.
Fretez gives me a compassionate look, “Depends on your definition of ‘alright’. The moment you died, your bond was broken and for any animai…that’s a pain worse than death, but for a God…I shudder to think.”
I look around at the expansive white around us, surprised by how warm and welcoming this vast nothing is. “Where are we?”
“This is the veil – a realm between the world of the living and the world of the dead. As Goddess of the Veil, this was always my domain; since my death, it is where I now reside. Welcoming and guiding souls as they cross over, waiting until the day you came along,” she says affectionately.
I scrub my hands down my face, “Why is all of this happening? What I saw…I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. The hatred in Azadou, the anger and shame in Jartre…and then to see all those innocent people fighting something they can’t truly fight…what was the point?” I ask in desperation.
Fretez takes me by the arm as a sofa made from something akin to clouds appears behind us. She eases me down, sitting beside me as I cautiously bounce, expecting to fall on my ass only to find a surprising amount of support.
“You have very valid questions, Gabriella, and I would be happy to answer them for you.”
“Just double-checking, I really am dead, right?”
“Very dead. It doesn’t get deader. But not for much longer. Zarseti is handling that as we speak,” she says with a reassuring smile.
“Okay…I guess you can go on.”
“Zarseti’s plan was quite ingenious,” she beams proudly. “You see, having all those people fighting the eyti wasn’t about destroying the eyti, because you’re right, they can’t, but they can slow them down.”
“And what the hell does that do?”
“For starters, they’re contained within the barrier, meaning they can’t roam free to infect others, for the time being. Secondly, having those people fight the eyti while the other Gods fight Azadou meant he was distracted and the eyti weakened.”
I snort in disbelief, “I was there, he didn’t look all that distracted to me and those black demons didn’t look weak.”
“Azadou was and still is, a very new God, who still doesn’t know all the power he possesses. Keeping Azadou distracted prevents him from realising that he has the power to absorb every eyti that he creates. Much like how Merlos can consume all things, Azadou can consume malice. Every eyti he creates becomes a supercharged source of energy. If he were to realise that, and he consumed every single eyti on that field, he would become unstoppable, and between him and Merlos, I’m not sure who would be the last God left standing in that fight,” she says gravely.
I take a breath as I let that sink in…Azadou has the power to create never-ending power sources. Every human on planet Earth could feed him and make him the ultimate Energiser God.. If the brief glimpse of his power is enough to go by, we’d all be fucked.
“I hate myself for even saying this out loud…but Merlos was prepared to kill Jartre and Azadou to save everyone…maybe that would be the better option,” I say, the words tasting like ash in my mouth. Even suggesting Jartre’s death disgusts me and feels wrong in ways I can’t describe.
“That’s the other issue. Merlos’ solution is no solution.”
“What do you mean?”
“Azadou isn’t like the rest of us. He wasn’t born from the cosmos, he was born from a powerful emotion, and given life by Jartre’s carelessness and desperation. While with any God – myself included – should we die, everything our magic touches dies with us. But you see, Azadou never intentionally created the eyti. The eyti became what they were simply by humans coming into close contact with Azadou’s energy. It was never intentional. Yes, he can control them, feed on them, and turn people if he wishes, but that was never the case. He’s less of their creator and more…”
“Patient zero…” I finish in disbelief.
“That’s a good way of putting it. What that means is that even if Azadou were to die, it wouldn’t destroy the eyti. Now the raitruum and whoever else, could certainly destroy the eyti, but I assure you they would never be able to destroy all of them. Malice lingers in varying degrees in all people. You can’t kill malice, not even Zarseti can counter it.”
“But she’s the Goddess of Peace and Love for God’s sake!” I shout incredulously.
“Think of how a hundred people can sing your praises, but that one nasty comment tearing you down will be the one that stays with you. You can’t unbreak a broken heart and love can’t eradicate malice. That’s why it will always reign supreme. If Merlos killed Jartre, Azadou would die, and the problem remains. If Merlos killed Azadou, Jartre would die and again the problem would remain. Do you see the issue? Zarseti has spent thousands of years doing all she can to keep the casualties to a minimum while putting things into motion to hopefully restore every eyti to ever exist,” she says hopefully.
“But only Azadou can do that, right?” She nods. I snort, “Hate to burst your bubble lady, but that dude ain’t helping anyone with shit. All I saw was someone…who feels deep pain and rejection and anger, and after hearing him…I can’t blame him.”
“Nor should you,” she urges, clasping my hands in hers. “You feel for him just as I do and see how unfairly he has been treated. I never wanted to hurt him. It’s the whole reason I froze him in time. I didn’t want him to feel a minute of being trapped, but it was the only way to get us to this moment. You see that he deserves a chance and that things can be made right. You can help Zarseti do that and finish what I started all that time ago.”
“How do you know all this stuff? You’re dead.” I point out suspiciously.
“Death is only the beginning, Gabriella. My time on your side of the veil was over, but now I have a whole new existence, and that’s something you will soon come to understand. Death is merely a stepping stone; a transition from one form of existence to another. There is so much more to this universe than you can even begin to imagine, and besides, who says I lost my gifts?” she winks playfully.
“But the Orraikam holds your magic…” I mutter, frowning in confusion.
“Oh, Gabriella, don’t overthink this, it will only give you a headache. The question now, is do you continue to the other side of the veil, or do you embrace your destiny as the next Goddess of Light?” she asks carefully.
“I have a choice?” I question in surprise.
“You always have a choice. You’ve come this far, but where you go next is entirely up to you.”
What is with these fucking Gods and their constant need to put so much pressure on me?! Even when I’m dead they don’t let up!
“I want nothing more than to be with Jartre…”
“But…?”
“But I don’t think I’m built for immortality. To live a life where I watch everyone around me grow old and die. Isn’t the whole point of living meant to be knowing that it will one-day end? What’s the point of anything if there’s no ending?”
“The finish line is for the ego, but the journey is for the soul,” she says calmly as I stare at her blankly.
“…Thank you, Confucius. I thought you were a God, not a fortune cookie,” I snap sarcastically.
Fretez chuckles, “Gabriella, in your human life you’ve already lost those closest to you. Your parents and grandparents are all gone, but you continue to live and thrive and hold onto their memories. Would you rather, live a short life still filled with pain and death, or live a long, lasting life side by side with your true love? The one person who will never leave you and who will love you for all time. You have the chance to not only spend an eternity in love, but the chance to make a difference to those around you. You are light. A beacon of hope to all those around you and in times of great sadness when the darkness creeps in, people need that light. Maybe a little sadness every now and then is worth it in exchange for a lifetime of happiness for yourself and others,” she says thoughtfully.
She raises a good point. My family is all dead, and if they weren’t, I’d still eventually watch them die one way or another, at least in this scenario I wouldn’t be alone. In fact, I’d never be alone again. I would have Jartre forever and the life we could build. We could experience the world together, and really experience it, not just be a tourist for a week. I don’t even know why I’m hesitating. I completed our now broken bond knowing what it meant, and Zarseti took me to that field knowing the choice I would inevitably make. So why am I debating this with myself when the decision has already been made?
I look up to see Fretez smiling at me, her silver eyes twinkling in the light. “That was all for show, wasn’t it? You already knew what decision I’d make you,” I accuse.
She chuckles, “You’ll come to learn that knowing the future and experiencing the future are two very different things.”
“But I don’t know how to be a Goddess,” I argue.
“It’s not something that comes with an instruction manual. Just be yourself and the rest will follow,” she consoles me, rubbing my hand comfortingly.
“But all your gifts…”
“Are yours too. Gabriella, you’ve been having visions since you were born. You were meant for this.”
“Yeah, and those visions feel like they’re killing me,” I retort, reflecting on the pain of each one.
“Only because you were experiencing the gift of a God while you were still human. A human can’t handle that kind of power, that’s why the visions always caused you so much pain, but moving forward, they’ll be as effortless as breathing,” she promises, tucking my hair affectionately behind my ear. Sensing my apprehension, she continues. “How did you know you could sing?” she queries.
“Huh? Um, I don’t know, I just did and then I practised so I would get better at it,” I shrug in confusion.
“It’s the same thing. I'm passing my torch to you; all you have to do is accept it and embrace it.”
Our conversation is interrupted by the sudden appearance of a swirling blue vortex before us. I jump to my feet, worried some new hell is about to break loose, but Fretez simply rises to her feet gracefully, looking at the vortex expectantly. A second passes and a large man steps through with familiar blue hair and glowing red eyes. He notices me but freezes when he sees Fretez, his Adam’s apple bobbing as his eyes swim with emotion.
“Fretez…” he chokes out.
“Hello, Oshmin,” she softly greets. “It’s been a while.”
He reaches her in two long strides, wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her tight. “You are sorely missed.”
She returns his hug with an affectionate smile on her face, “I’ve missed you too. All of you.”
Oshmin pulls back and takes a breath to compose himself as he looks to me, “We haven’t met yet.”
“I’m Gabriella, and I know who you are,” I say with a sad smile. “I know your history with Jartre.”
He gapes at me in surprise, “He told you?”
I nod, “Might be hard to believe, but beneath his anger is true remorse and guilt for what he did to you. He wants to make it right, he’s just…”
“Stubborn,” Fretez and Oshmin deadpan in unison.
“Okay, so I guess you guys know him pretty well…wait, no!” I stare at Oshmin wide-eyed. “You died?! Was it Azadou?!”
Fretez giggles a tinkly laugh while Oshmin gives me a kind smile.
“I’m still very much alive. I’ve come to get you,” he explains.
“Oshmin is the God of Souls, and the only God who can carry souls from one realm to the next and restore them,” Fretez explains.
Oshmin holds out his hand to me, looking down at me with trusting eyes. Eyes that colour shouldn’t look so trustworthy and yet here we are.
“You’re Jartre’s only hope to gain control of himself again. Without you everyone is doomed,” he stresses.
“What?” I say, panic rising within me as I think of what might be happening at this very moment. I look to Fretez in frustration. “You’ve had me sitting around chatting about my feelings when Jartre desperately needs me?!” I snap in indignation.
“Gabriella, time in the veil moves vastly differently from time on Earth. You could spend days here and barely a moment will have gone by on Earth. Trust me, everything is fine,” she assures me, placing a placating hand on my shoulder. Why can’t these Gods tell you all this crap ahead of time and save me the stress and panic?
“Are you ready?” Oshmin asks.
I look from his hand to Fretez as she gives me an encouraging smile.
“Will I ever see you again? What if I need your advice on this whole Goddess of Light thing?” I ask anxiously.
“Then I will be right here. You will also be the Goddess of the Veil and can pass through it whenever you like. We’ll see each other again,” she promises.
I take in a deep breath and place my hand in Oshmin’s, letting him guide me towards the vortex as he looks back at Fretez with a reluctant smile. I look back to see her giving me an encouraging nod.
“Remember to trust yourself,” she calls out.
“Thanks for the pep talk,” I say gratefully.
“And one other thing. Tell Azadou his future is yet to be written. It’s important he knows that,” she says magnanimously
I nod, promising to do so as Oshmin guides me into the vortex.