Chapter 13 Chapter Thirteen - Jartre
I have existed longer than anyone can even begin to comprehend. In that time I have witnessed the birth of galaxies and have even destroyed a few. I have power beyond one’s wildest dreams and yet, standing inside that tiny loft, telling that curvaceous and fragile spitfire what I am and what she is to me, I’ve never felt more powerless and insignificant.
She confounds me in ways no one ever has. I don’t even know her and yet I find myself already changing around her. Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say she’s turning me into someone I used to be. Someone I thought died a long time ago.
As I pour myself a large drink, I feel the air shift and I look up to see Ezillus standing bright-eyed in my living area.
“So, how did everything go?” they ask with a shit-eating grin as they lazily sit down on my lapis circular sectional placing their feet up on my marble coffee table.
I walk out from around the bar sipping my drink, “Get your feet off my table,” I bark, walking over and sitting on one of the armless chaise lounges opposite them.
“I would have thought having an animai would have mellowed you out,” they quip. “How did things go after you so rudely kicked me out?”
“I told her everything,” I say, gulping down half the glass.
Ezillus blinks in surprise and sits up straight, “Excuse me? Define everything.”
“I told her I’m a God, that magic exists and she’s my soulmate.”
“There’s this thing called easing in. You could have tried that,” they say sarcastically.
“I wasn’t thinking. Rational thought seems to diminish when I am in her presence. Not to mention she’s just so…”
“Feisty?” they say in amusement.
“Yes! I find words coming out of me without thought,” I say, shaking my head. The power this little human already has over me is alarming, to say the least. “She even called me budget Thor,” I say with offence. While she had no idea how close to accurate her words were, she has it sorely the wrong way around. That mythological twerp is nothing more than a cheap knockoff of me.
Ezillus throws their head back and chortles, “Oh, I am loving this woman already! Zarseti is truly a master of her craft. But anyway, how did she take your confession? Throw a drink at you and flee at the speed of a baby cheetah?” they chuckle.
I glare at Ezillus, not that they fucking care. We’ve had our blow-ups over the years, of cataclysmic magnitude, but to their credit, Ezillus is the only one who could tolerate my shit. They never hold it over my head and easily brush it off. I don’t say it, but I appreciate them for that.
“She took it shockingly well, actually,” I say, still stupefied by this morning’s turn of events. “Turns out she is gifted.”
“She’s supernatural?” they ask in surprise, only to then look as confused as I feel. “I only sensed human.”
“As do I. But she claims she has visions. That they happen when she goes to sleep.”
“A lot of humans have déjà-rêvé,” they shrug dismissively.
I shake my head, “It’s not déjà-rêvé or déjà vu. I could tell from the way she spoke about it. She says everything she sees in her dreams comes to pass, and she was speaking the truth. While much of what I said is hard for her to grasp, the prospect of magic is not.”
“Perhaps there’s a dormant gene she possesses. A magical ancestor perhaps and that magic can only come out when the subconscious takes over,” they hypothesise.
I nod my head in contemplation, “That’s a possibility.”
“Either way it sounds like Zarseti didn’t pair you with some average human after all. Whoever, or whatever, she is, she’s special enough to be deemed your essram’s equal,” they say thoughtfully, “I don’t suppose you could just ask Zarseti?”
I snort, “Zarseti revealing the reasons behind her meddling? I’d have better luck unmaking the universe.” Ezillus just continues to smile at me and it’s becoming disturbing. “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”
“Because this is the most relaxed I’ve seen you in thousands of years. You’re even making jokes again. A couple of brief interactions and this woman is already doing wonders for you. It’s nice to see my old friend returning,” they smile warmly.
I hmph, “Yeah, well, don’t get too comfortable,” I grumble as I finish the rest of my drink.
“What happens now?”
“She asked me to give her some space, and I agreed. Despite how well she took what I said, I can imagine how overwhelming it must have been, and she requested space to let it sink in. So I agreed to give it to her. I have managed to stay away since she asked it of me.”
I could never have imagined it would be so essram-crushing to stay away from her. I yearn to see her and be in her presence, but I will not deny her this more than reasonable request, not if it means she’ll give me a chance. The fact I even want a chance continues to fill me with apprehension.
“I knew the bond Zarseti creates was powerful, but I never knew it was this powerful. Look at you, willing to give someone time and patience, yearning to be near them. I’d forgotten what a romantic you could be,” Ezillus teases.
“And just where did that romance get me last time?” I sneer.
They sigh, “They should put a picture of Apaki next to the word cunt in every dictionary. She truly was the OG cunt. The progenitor of the cunt species. Even if you took every cunt in the world and combined them they still would have nothing on her,” they continue to prattle.
“Is this your version of a pep talk?” I say curtly.
“It was intended to point out that Apaki was not your animai and this woman is. Meaning, that she is meant to be everything you could ever need and you to her. The irony of the God of Destruction being destroyed by the Goddess of Chaos.” They shake their head and lean forward, “I’ve watched you destroy yourself and everything around you in an attempt not to feel the chasm she left in your heart. To finally see you showing even a glimmer of happiness and a chance at moving past your pain is a blessing. Not that you care, but I’m happy for you Jartre,” they say with deep sincerity.
I manage a lopsided smile. I don’t usually spend time talking about my feelings and Ezillus has never pushed the issue, mostly because they know it’s difficult for me, but something about Gabriella has me wanting to open up and that has me scared shitless. I opened my heart once. More than that, I gave it to another and in return it was obliterated. I don’t think I can survive my own animai doing the same to me.