Chapter 48

“I am me and you are you. We could not change it. I wouldn’t change it. Our paths were not meant to cross, but they did. That must mean something, right?

Now, I am putting us at another crossroads. We could spend one unforgettable night today and have a lifetime of certainty apart. Or we could have a lifetime together, making each uncertain night unforgettable. Ryo Matsuda, what does your heart tell you?”

The camera panned to Ryo, displaying his face. Everyone in the venue and those watching at home could see his shock. But none of them felt the nuclear bombs detonating inside him. What does his heart tell him? Does he need to answer that? He looked at the vacant seat beside him and read the name written on it. Diwa Malaya. He does not know the name. But the words Director Nakamura read connected with him. It spoke to him. His head throbbed from trying to make sense of what’s happening. He felt like he’s having an aneurysm.

When the director returned to his seat, he looked at Ryo and gave him a curt nod. Ryo wanted to interrogate him, but it was not the time and the place. The speech alone already grabbed unnecessary attention. Ryo sat at the far end of the row while Hiroshi was on the opposite end. He would trouble a lot of people if he were to approach him now.

He tried his best to focus on the show. But he couldn’t. Aside from the riot of emotions he felt, the people in front and around him were giving him attention. Jack Nicholson winked at him more than twice. Meryl Streep gave him two thumbs up. Leonardo Di Caprio, who sat behind him, tapped his shoulder to tell him, “go for it.” Even Martin Scorsese, who was on the other side, gave him a thumbs up.

If not for his heart trying to escape his chest, he would have jumped up and down from all the attention his idols gave him. Yes, he’s distracted. There’s nothing more he wanted to do than to get out of this place and board a plane to the Philippines. His heart tells him Diwa Malaya is Ellie. It has to be. It must be Ellie. Who else could throw his world upside down but her? Only she could make him feel this way—uncertain but giddy, nervous but happy. It has to be Ellie.

Ryo felt like he’s on the longest roller coaster ride of his life. His movie won almost all the awards they’re nominated for. Only the best actor and best picture remained up for grabs. Once again, the stage dimmed, and the light focused on the award presenter. He called on the name of each of the best actor nominees. Ryo’s breath got stuck in his chest. The drumroll only added to the nervousness he felt. His hands felt cold and clammy. He kept his smile on the camera but every nerve on his body wanted to scream.

“Ryo Matsuda. Worlds Apart,” announced the presenter. Ryo’s ear failed to function. His hands clapped as if they had a mind of their own but did not move an inch. Only when his co-star shook him and said his congratulations did it sink in. He won! He won an Oscar!

His feet felt light as he approached the stage. The statue felt heavy on his trembling hands. This tiny figure is the culmination of his career. He’s been working since he’s sixteen and now he’s here, holding the statue that put him in equal ranks as his idols.

The smile on his face says it all. He thanked his family, his colleagues and everyone who helped him on his journey. The audience fell silent when he cleared his throat. His eyes trained on the camera. The audience could not help but suppress their gasps. Since the start of the program, everyone was at the edge of their seats. They’re all waiting for his response to the screenplay writer’s question. “I know you wanted to know my answer. I’m sorry, but I will have to give her my answer in person.” His eyes focused on the camera. The audience vanished from his view, and he looked at the camera as if he’s looking at the eyes of a specific person. “I need to see you, and I want you to say those words to me in person.” He gave everyone a polite bow and exited the stage.

The media called it the Oscar cock-block. Everyone in attendance and those at home waited at the edge of their seats for his response. They prayed for him to win, to hear his answer. But then, they all understood, whatever that matter was, it was too personal. It felt like it was life changing for the writer and the actor.

Ryo’s admirers grew because of his actions. They said, it’s what a true gentleman would do. The internet broke from the discourse on this topic and drew traffic and attention to the movie. The movie has finished its run at the cinemas but with attention it’s getting, it’s counterintuitive not to give the audience what they want.

The team was already on cloud nine from their award haul. But the event is still not over, and an award is still up for grabs—best picture. They’re up against blockbusters, big-budget productions, and legends. They all knew this was a fight they would not win. But when the presenter called their movie’s name, they all jumped with glee. Their movie made another history!

Their delegation walked up the stage. As the director, Hiroshi took the microphone to deliver his speech. They all listened to him thank a long list of people who helped make the movie possible. “And to every man and woman who has worked hard on this project, thank you. My friend, once again you brought me to the Oscars, maraming salamat.” He gave the audience a bow, and it was their cue to get off the stage.

Ryo’s brows knitted at the language Hiroshi used to express his gratitude. He couldn’t be wrong, that’s Filipino. He heard those words said countless times whenever he’s in the Philippines. His eyes darted to Hiroshi, but he’s not looking at him.

Ryo wanted to hop on his plane and head to the Philippines this instant but as one of the big winners of the night, they had to be in the after party. His mind and his were still in a mess but he needed to stay present. At the party, Hiroshi seemed to avoid him. Whenever he tried to come closer to him, he would talk to somebody else, take a drink, or walk away. The more he avoided him, the more Ryo became suspicious.

But Hiroshi couldn’t avoid him forever. As he drank alone in the bar, Ryo sat on the stool beside him. “She’s Ellie, isn’t she? Diwa Malaya.” Hiroshi did not need to answer him. The way his jaw dropped to the ground answered his question. “How did you know her, director Nakamura?”

“We’re classmates in college. I was an exchange student back then.”

“In film school?”

“Yeah. She’s brilliant. As you have seen, she’s an exceptional writer, but she could also act. But for me, she’s a better filmmaker than an actress.” Hiroshi downed his drink and looked at Ryo.

There were deep waves around his forehead. The headache he tried to ignore built up again. “Ellie, an actress? A director?” he could not help but mutter as he shook his head. No wonder the pointers she gave him whenever she read his scripts were flawless. And the way she coached him during their practice was like having your own acting coach.

“Yeah. But her boyfriend asked her to quit. So she did. She quit her band, writing, and acting.” Hiroshi gave a pained smile and studied Ryo’s face. “What about you, why do you know Ellie?”

“Uhm… she and I… we’re…”

“Lovers? Is that the word you were looking for?” Hiroshi chuckled at how flustered Ryo looked.

“We were. I don’t know if we are still. I did something she does not agree with and has stopped talking to me since.” Ryo gulped the golden liquid in his glass. There was an undeniable pain in his eyes.

“Hmm. I think you could still fix it. I mean, she wrote you a story. She had not bled on paper for a long time, but she did it for you.” Hiroshi studied the man beside him and chuckled. “Oh, I remember how she teased me with the story. When I got hooked, she told me she only had one condition, and that’s for you to be the lead actor. Without you, there wouldn’t be any movie.”

Ryo smiled at the thought. Could it be that they still had a chance? The past months had been hell for him. She needed space, and he gave it to her, even if it tore him apart. He wanted to shelter her when the media feasted on her. But he couldn’t. She pushed him away. Not a call or a message from after their argument..

For countless nights, even to this day, he chastised himself for leaving. Why did he have to leave? He could have stayed and waited for her to calm down so they could talk and iron things out. But he did not. He stormed out of her place and left. He went back to Japan with no second thoughts. His pride kept him from picking up his phone and dialing her number. Her rejection scared him. And this fear has kept him from pursuing the one person who could make him happy. Stupid. A total imbecile. And he could do nothing about it.

“You said she wanted to meet me.”

“Yes. Whenever you’re ready.”