Chapter 1

She stood in front of the vanity wearing a silk robe, her hair tied up in a messy bun. Her bare face glistened from the serum she’d just applied. Sofia looked at her tired eyes and let out a deep sigh. This was one of those arduous days when her hard-to-please director asked her to repeat a scene for god knows how many times. He complained there was something missing. If there was any consolation, it was hers and Yuki’s schedules matched, and he was also taping in the studio next to hers.

Yuki’s arms wrapped around her waist as they looked at their reflections. Sofia looked at him from the mirror. His lips pursed as he kissed her neck from time to time. Her eyes darted to the dressing room’s door, making sure it was securely locked. They could not afford a scandal. Not when her career was still not as stable as she wanted it to be, and Yuki’s was only taking off.

“You know I love you,” she pouted and looked at the man’s reflection with loving eyes. She rested her back on his chest, and her hand reached back to stroke his cheek.

“I don’t know anymore. You’ve been with him for so long you must have fallen in love with him.”

“Ha! Is that a joke?” She rolled her eyes. “Me? Love that brat? You don’t know how much self-control I need not to slap his face when he’s being childish.” His hand turned her face towards him and claimed her mouth. In response, she turned her back from the vanity and faced him, wrapping her arms around his neck, stroking his hair while her tongue played with his.

“I am jealous. You know I want the world to know you’re mine,” he said between kisses as he nibbled his way down her neck. He nuzzled her neck and inhaled her fragrance.

“No marks, baby,” she reminded him as she tilted her head back to give him more access.

“Dump the brat, already.” His hand found her breast and gave it a not-so-gentle squeeze. She let out a soft moan. Encouraged, he nibbled on her ear while his hand found its way inside her clothes.

“I will, babe. Give me some time, okay?” She deftly opened the top button of his shirt. “I need him to make me the lead star of this big drama, which will cement my career, then I’ll leave him.” She completed unbuttoning his shirt at the same time she finished her sentence. “Then we can let the entire world know about us.” She licked his chest wantonly, driving him crazy.

“You know I can make you famous too.” The gasps he made as her tongue trailed his body could not conceal his jealousy.

“I know, but I don’t want to hurt your career, baby.” She tiptoed to cover his mouth with hers, wiping away his jealous retorts. They filled the dressing room with their suppressed moans.

Outside the dressing room stood Ryo Matsuda. His hands tightened on the bouquet of roses he was holding, uncaring if he ruined them. He had just finished a variety show appearance to promote his latest album. Since the studio was quite close to her shoot’s location, he wanted to surprise her. The irony of it all. It turned out that she was the one who had a surprise for him.

He heard every word she said crystal clear. Her ridicule did not escape him, either. He did not need to guess who was with her in the room. It’s from Yuki Yamada, a former member of a male group and a rising movie star. Some say that Yuki’s looks are second only to his.

With a thud, the roses he held bounced off the dressing room door and landed on the floor, mangled. He no longer bothered if the two people inside the dressing room heard the noise. He did not bother confronting them. It was a fight not worth fighting for. It was obvious from her words that she did not love him but only saw him as a tool. He would not stoop further to hear her lies.

It was crystal clear what her choice was. And talking to her would only make him desperate. Heck, he was Ryo Matsuda; there was no way he would beg anybody to accept him in their life. Although he loved her, he was not as smitten and stupid as she assumed him to be. He turned around and left, ignoring everyone he met. He lifted his hand to signal his team not to follow him.

He drove aimlessly to vent his anger. When the trees replaced the towering buildings on either side of the road, he lowered his window and let the wind dry his tears. The pain cut him to his core. He thought Sofia was the one for him. She ticked all the boxes—she was beautiful, sweet, and caring. Who would have thought she’d be a two-faced cheater who only used his influence and connections? Ryo stopped by the edge of a cliff that faced the ocean.

Why did this happen to him? Why did he always end up wasting his time, his energy, and his emotions on people who did not know how to cherish him? Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. He sneered as he recalled how his previous relationships ended up the same way.

“What is wrong with me? Sure, I can be childish and arrogant, but I’m loyal and honest. I gave them all the love I had. Why do they always end up betraying me?” he asked himself as he recalled his past relationships.

His first love left him for another man. Another one saw him as a living ATM, and then this last one saw him as a tool to establish her showbiz career. She used him for his influence in the industry. “Why am I so dumb? Am I so despicable that no one could sincerely love me? I just want someone to love me for who I am and what I represent and could offer. Is that too much to ask?”

For an unknown period, he sat in his car. One of his arms dangled from the open window. He inwardly punished himself by recalling the dialogue he had heard earlier. The sound of the angry waves crashing against the boulders below the cliff was the musical score to his melodrama. After a while, he got out of the car and walked towards the edge of the cliff. From where he stood, he saw how the boulders broke the waves and how the foam danced back and forth across the shore. The strong and salty wind felt astringent on the skin, but it was not enough to beat the pain his heart felt. The piercing pain in his chest cracked him, tearing him to pieces.

His eyes stung with tears as he allowed himself to feel the wave of emotions inside him. He was angry at himself for not being observant enough to gauge people’s intentions. “Ahhhhhh!” he screamed his lungs out. He wanted the world to know how furious he was. His chest puffed as he inhaled more air to scream some more.

Yes, he was furious with her for stomping on his heart but more at himself for being foolish and not seeing her for the person she was. Her beauty blinded him, making him ignore the little red flags he had throughout their relationship: her little white lies, hushed phone calls, and slips of the tongue. He did not mind them and put all his trust in her. This was as much on him as it was with her.

Ah, love, why do you have to be so complicated? Why can’t you be straightforward? Why do you have to be painful?

“I am done with love!” he screamed to the ocean as if it had offended him.

“Fuck love!” Salty tears ran down his cheeks.

He forgot how many times he screamed his head off. Tired, he plopped himself in the dirt as he stared at the ocean before him.

“I will never love again.”