Maya
I rush back to my apartment, lock the door behind me and slip to the floor. I allow the tears to run freely down my cheeks. The couple in the restaurant, the guy was my ex-boyfriend. The one who completely destroyed me, abused me, and took advantage of me. It is the first time I have seen him since I ran away. The second my eyes fell on him, I turned back to the scared little girl I was six months ago before I left. I couldn’t let him see me. He had no idea where I was. I am sure he tried to find me, but thankfully, he never did. It terrifies me the idea of him seeing me again. I wouldn’t put it past him to do everything to get me back for leaving him. I feel sorry for the woman he was on a date with. I hope she sees him for the monster he is before she gets deep, something I wished I managed when we met.
I shouldn’t have lost it at Conrad. He didn’t deserve it, but I couldn’t be around him, not right now. I didn’t want to have to tell him my entire life story. And I know if I told him when I first saw my ex, he would probably have lost it. I don’t want Conrad getting into any trouble because of me. It is best for both if I stay away from him. If my ex is around here again, I am scared he will see us together and will use Conrad to hurt me. That is the type of man my ex is.
I regret not reporting him to the police every day, but once I ran, I didn’t want to have to see him again or risk him finding out my new address. A restraining order wouldn’t have kept him at bay, either. I bury my face in my hands and cry.
I shouldn’t be surprised this happened. I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop since I met Conrad. Just when things seem to be going well, this happens, and it is just another reminder Conrad deserves better. He doesn’t need my demons or dramas in his perfect life. I will not bring him down with me. I need to be more cautious now. I am positive my ex didn’t see me, but for all I know, he could have because I don’t even know when he came in. I hate the idea of possibly being on his radar again.
I sigh and run my fingers through my hair before getting to my feet. I double-checked I, locked my door, and decided to try to take a bath to help relax myself. It probably won’t work, but if I sit and do nothing, I will just make myself feel worse.
The sound of my cell ringing makes me jump a little. I take it out and see Conrad is calling me. I reject his call. He needs to leave me alone. I will talk to him when I am ready if I am ready. Yet, somehow, I don’t believe he will give up so easily. Perhaps if I ignore him for long enough, he will become bored and move on.
I toss my things on the sofa and head to start my bath. I wish I could stay home and hide for the rest of the week, but if I did, I wouldn’t have a job to return to.
This wasn’t how my day was supposed to go. I was supposed to finish work, come home and spend the night with Conrad. Now, instead, I am a mess and scared all over again. I honestly hate my life at times. But all I can do is push through and hope things get better. They surely can’t get any worse. I groan in frustration. I need this day to be over with!
****
I went to bed straight after my bath three hours ago. I haven’t managed to sleep, but I feel safe and comfortable under the covers. I am not sure if I will sleep at all, though. I had a movie playing in the background but wasn’t paying much attention to it.
I have spent the last hour deciding whether or not to call Conrad. He has tried calling again and sent a couple of texts, wanting to make sure I was okay. I sighed and finally hit the call button. I know he is worrying about me.
I take a deep breath, and it doesn’t even get the chance to ring a second time before he answers.
“Maya, are you okay?”
I can hear the concern in his voice.
“I am fine,” I answer simply.
Conrad sighs loudly, “No, you aren’t. What is going on? Please tell me?”
“The guy in the restaurant was my ex.” I blurt out before I can stop myself.
“Wait, what? The one you mentioned before?”
“Yes. I haven’t seen him since I left. I hoped it would stay that way, but I should have known better.” I whimper.
“Maya, what happened with him? I know you have mentioned small details, but I know there is more to the story.” He asks softly.
“All you need to know is he was a bastard. He thought I was his to do as he pleases with.”
I am not ready to say anymore.
“I hate knowing he hurt you. I am sorry you saw him today. You should have said.” He replies.
“Trust me, you don’t want to get involved. He doesn’t have a conscience.”
“If protecting you means I need to get involved, I will.”
“No, you won’t, okay? Leave it. Now, please, stop. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”
Conrad falls silent for a second, “Okay. I won’t push.”
“Thank you. I am sorry I snapped at you, Conrad. You didn’t deserve that.”
I am fighting back my tears as I talk to him because I feel bad.
“It is okay, beautiful. I just wish rather than pushing me away, you would have let me be there for you. I know you find it hard to trust people, but you can trust me, Maya.” He says softly.
I believed him. He hasn’t given me any reason not to. However, on the other hand, I have heard these promises before.
“I don’t mean to, but I can’t help it,” I say softly.
“Can I please come over?”
I can hear the nervousness in his tone. I don’t answer straight away because I don’t know how to respond.
“Maya, I want to be there for you. Please don’t tell me no.” He whispers.
I honestly think it would be impossible for me to get rid of him. I am used to people giving up on me, not fighting to be with me. I would feel safer if he were here.
“Yes, you can come over.”
“Thank you. I will bring food because I assume you have eaten?”
“No, not since lunch. I am not that hungry.” I answer.
We had a big lunch. I don’t want another big meal.
“I will bring something light. I will be there in about half an hour, okay?”
“Yes. See you soon.” I reply and hang up.
God, this man doesn’t know when to stop, does he? I should be grateful for him, and I am, but having someone around is also a lot to take when I am used to being alone.