Maya
I have two days left with Conrad before I disappear. I couldn’t find another option, so I needed to go because it was what I needed to do to protect Conrad and his family. I hate Callum has won, but hopefully, it won’t be long. It has taken longer than Callum told me, but he promised to stay away from them as long as I planned to disappear.
I have found a job in a small town in the Scottish Highlands. The job comes with a place to stay. It is a cute B&B. It is run by a married couple, but one needs to leave for a few months, and they are looking for a helping hand. It is in a cute little town. The contract is for three months. I hope by then, Callum has finally been caught, or I will need to come up with another plan. The owners paid for my flights and visa. They have a chain of hotels, cottages, and B&B establishments throughout the UK and Ireland.
It is breaking my heart to do this to him. I don’t know how I will survive leaving him and not having him by my side. It will kill me, but I would rather be in pain than put him and his family in any more danger. I have everything ready to go. I have my bag packed and hidden away. I hate I can’t say goodbye to him. He would try and stop me, and it would work. It would also send him on a warpath for Callum. I can’t risk Conrad getting hurt or into trouble. I plan on leaving him a letter explaining why I had to leave, but I am not telling him where I am going. Hopefully, I will return one day, but it doesn’t mean Conrad will be waiting for me, and I wouldn’t blame him.
I have been doing a great job acting like everything has been fine all while breaking more and more with every passing second. I don’t want to break his heart. His heart is too pure and good to be broken. I can only hope once he reads the letter, he will understand. He will know I still love him deeply, and I am only doing this because I need to, not because I want you. If I told him where I was going, he would be on the next flight to take me home. I can’t allow that to happen until it is safe.
I plan on making the next two days incredible for us. I don’t want him to suspect a thing. It is Friday, and I will leave on Monday in the afternoon. We have the next two days to ourselves. I have been constantly crying and spending most of my time in bed while he hasn’t been here. I always make sure I am pulled together before he comes home. I wish I could find another way, but I have run out of options. I close my eyes, the tears starting again. I will write my letter on Monday before I leave because I don’t have it in me to do it right now. I am sure it will be tear-stained.
How am I supposed to leave the man I love and be okay? Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised because I always believed Conrad, and my life with him was too good to be true. I was right when I told myself I didn’t deserve it. Someone like me doesn’t get her happy ending. It is written in the stars for me. Hopefully, Conrad will find someone more worthy who will love him like I do. I would prefer if he didn’t meet someone else and would wait for me, but I wouldn’t expect that from him after what I am doing to him.
I quickly wipe the tears as they fall. I didn’t think I had any left. I need to keep it together because I have the place to set up for our date night that Conrad has no idea is happening.
I am going to cook his favourite dishes, light candles, dim the lights, and I bought a bottle of his favourite wine. I plan to make a fort for us in the living room, where we can hide and watch a movie. I need it to be perfect so he knows how much I love him no matter what happens.
I have decided I am supposed to be alone in the world. Everyone either leaves, doesn’t want me, abuses me, or something gets in the way. I believed for a little while Conrad was my forever. I couldn’t have been more wrong.
I distract myself by building the fort and setting the living room up for us. Dinner can wait. I don’t want to have to reheat it when he comes home; I would rather he eat it freshly made. I haven’t worked out how I am going to make tomorrow special, but I will. I can take him out to do all his favourite things.
I don’t manage to get much done before I fall to my knees and completely break down. I have been through a lot in my life. I have felt a lot of pain, but I have never felt it in the way I am now. I bury my face in my hands and cry. I exhausted myself from it. I can’t keep doing this. It is time to pull it together. I don’t want Conrad to see me in such a state. I want our last memories to be happy ones. It is the least I can do before I turn his entire world upside down. We are supposed to be planning our future, talking about our wedding and what we want in life.
No matter how this turns out, I will never recover from it. I get back to building our fort and setting everything up. Conrad will be home in about two hours, and there is a lot to do before then. I need to get myself showered and cleaned up and hide any signs that I have been crying. He can read me like a book, but that can’t happen tonight.