Chapter 51 Not Losing You
ARYA
That night, I couldn’t sleep.
Luca held me close, his breathing eventually evening out, but my mind wouldn’t quiet. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw dark magic swirling, heard whispers promising power and death in equal measure.
‘Lean?’ I called to my wolf.
‘I’m here,’ she responded immediately. ‘And I’m scared.’
‘Me too.’
‘But we can do this. We’re Moonborne. We were born for this.’
‘What if I’m not strong enough? What if I fail and everyone dies because of me?’
‘Then we’ll fail together. But Arya—I don’t think we will.’ Lean’s presence was warm and comforting. ‘You’re stronger than you know. Stronger than Jaime ever let you be. Stronger than fear.’
‘I hope you’re right.’
‘I’m always right. I’m a wolf.’
Despite my fear, I smiled at her confidence.
Luca stirred beside me, his arm tightening. “Can’t sleep?” His voice was rough with exhaustion.
“Too much in my head.”
He rolled to face me, golden eyes glowing slightly in the darkness. “Want to talk about it?”
“What if I can’t do it? What if I’m not strong enough?”
“Then we’ll find another way. We always do.” His hand cupped my face. “But Aeliana, I’ve seen your power. I’ve felt it. You’re more than capable.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you’re still here. After everything Jaime put you through, after having your wolf suppressed for twenty-three years, after discovering your entire family was murdered and you’re the last of your line—you’re still here. Still fighting. Still believing in a better world.” He kissed me softly. “That’s not weakness. That’s incredible strength.”
“You have a lot of faith in me.”
“I have the appropriate amount of faith. Which is infinite.” His thumb brushed my lower lip. “You’re going to succeed. You’re going to cleanse that land, host that summit, and change the world. And I’m going to be beside you the entire time, insufferably worried and probably making a nuisance of myself.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“Good. Because you’re stuck with me.” He pulled me closer, my back to his chest, his arm wrapped around my waist. “Now sleep. Tomorrow we train, and Sage is going to be brutal.”
“She’s always brutal.”
“I know. I’m considering having her exiled.”
“You will not.”
“Fine. But I’m going to glare at her a lot.”
“That’s acceptable.”
His hand splayed across my stomach, warm and possessive. “Sleep, little wolf. I’ve got you.”
With his heartbeat steady against my back and his love pouring through our bond, I finally drifted off.
Tomorrow would bring more training, more preparation, more fear.
But tonight, I was safe in his arms.
And that was enough.
\-----
The next three days passed in a blur of intense activity.
Mornings were spent with Bardon, learning to shield my mind, to recognize and resist dark magic’s influence. He had me meditate for hours, building mental walls brick by brick.
“The dark magic will look for cracks,” he explained. “Doubts, fears, regrets. You need to acknowledge them but not let them control you.”
“How do I do that?”
“By accepting them as part of who you are. You’re not perfect, Arya. You’ve made mistakes, felt inadequate, experienced trauma. The dark magic will try to use those things against you. But if you accept them as part of your journey rather than weaknesses to be hidden—” He smiled. “—then they become strengths.”
Afternoons were brutal combat training with Sage. She didn’t hold back, pushing me until I was bleeding and exhausted.
“Again!” she’d bark when I’d fall. “The dark magic won’t give you a break. Neither will I.”
By the third day, I was moving faster, hitting harder, anticipating her strikes before she made them. Lean and I were learning to work as one seamless unit.
“Better,” Sage admitted after I finally managed to pin her. “You might actually survive this.”
“High praise.”
“From me? Extremely high.” She helped me up. “You’ve got potential, Luna. Real potential. Don’t waste it by getting yourself killed.”
“I’ll try not to.”
Evenings were with Luca. He’d heal my injuries, hold me while I decompressed, and then we’d practice channeling combined power through our bond.
“Feel my energy,” he’d murmur, his hands on my shoulders. “Let it flow into you, amplify your own power.”
When we connected, when our powers merged, it was like touching the sun. Raw, overwhelming, infinite.
“That’s what you’ll have access to during the ritual,” he explained. “My strength, my power, everything I am—it’s yours.”
“That’s terrifying.”
“That’s love.”
The nights were passionate and desperate. We made love like people preparing for war, each touch loaded with unspoken fear and fierce devotion.
“I will not lose you,” he’d growl against my skin, his body claiming mine over and over. “I’ve waited eight hundred years. I’m not giving you up after mere weeks.”
“Then make sure you keep me alive.”
“Oh, I plan to. Even if I have to defy death itself.”
On the third night, the night before the cleansing ritual, I stood on the terrace staring at the full moon.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’d face my family’s darkness. Tomorrow I’d either prove myself worthy of the Moonborne name or die trying.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Ryker’s voice came from behind me.
I turned to find him and Sage approaching. She immediately went to stand beside me, following my gaze to the moon.
“Thinking about tomorrow,” I admitted.
“You’re going to be fine,” Sage said with absolute certainty. “I’ve trained you well. You’re ready.”
“I don’t feel ready.”
“No one ever does. But ready isn’t about feeling confident. It’s about being prepared despite the fear.” She bumped my shoulder. “You’re prepared, Luna. Trust yourself.”
“And if you’re not?” Ryker added with a small smile. “Luca will probably destroy half the world trying to save you. So really, you’re highly motivated to succeed.”
“That’s not comforting.”
“Wasn’t meant to be. Was meant to be honest.” His expression sobered. “Arya, whatever happens tomorrow—thank you. For being brave enough to do this. For leading this revolution. For being exactly who you are.”
“You’re talking like I’m about to die.”