Chapter 46 Chapter Fourty Six
CANDY’S POV-45
I didn’t realize how bad my anxiety over this guest that I shouldn’t even have in the first place was until we walked through the doors of the dimly lit lounge and into the intimacy of soft music and low lightening only to find the room empty. I had to remind myself to breathe, an instant sigh of relief escaping my lips.
My stiff back slowly relaxes, my fingers relenting in their death grip on his.
“You’re scared.” That wasn’t a question, it was a statement and I look up to find Adrian staring at me with all the concern in the world right there in his eyes.
The urge to tell him envelops me, begging me to say something to someone before I explode but I don’t have the right words to explain that he’s right and I'd been scared shitless for a moment there because I have no idea what to expect these days. I guess knowing your father is on the wrong side of the law and worse on the bad side of some dangerous criminals has me on edge more than I care to admit and for a moment there, I'd thought they somehow found me and plan to send him a message using me like they do in the movies or something just as outrageous.
I force out a small, nervous laugh to avoid having to explain.
“She was probably mistaken.” I say instead referring to the receptionist, a note of finality in my voice begging him to drop it.
He takes the hint but he doesn’t look pleased in anyway that I’m hiding something from him. Reaching for his hand, I tentatively take it back in mine. l lead him out of the room and back the way we came, walking in the general direction of our room as I try to get him back to his previous mood with my mindless rambling about dinner.
Finally giving in, he begs me not to take forever dressing up because we barely have any time left to make our reservation.
Laughing, I start to promise that I won’t keep him waiting too long just so I can doll myself up to perfection but all that dies on my lips the second we turn the last corner leading to our rooms and I make eye contact with the sole figure standing outside my door, looking like dark, angry clouds on a stormy night come alive as he takes us in, his eyes fixated on my hand in Adrian’s.
There’s no way he’s really here, right? My brain is making him up because he’s what it wants to see, right?
My legs start to feel like lead the more I look at him, refusing to move any closer in case he’s real and not a figment of my imagination plaguing me even on my vacation,, my heart beating me to death because the sight of him always finds a way to send it into a frenzy.
What is he doing here? Who told him where to find me? What the fuck does he want from me?
Instinctively, Adrian’s hand wraps around me protectively, gently pulling me to his side as he sizes up the intruder glowering at him with murderous eyes from my door.
“Easy.” He whispers, to me as he walks us closer, his voice sounding nothing like the Adrian that’s been joking and laughing with me all day as he steps between me and Nikandr.
“Do you know him?”
I nod because my throat feels too tight with the same emotions I spent this morning teaching myself to let go off. Fuck this bastard, why can’t he just leave for good.
Every time I find a way to let him go, he just resurfaces like a fucking jack in the box to ruin everything and leave again. He’s not good for me, not anymore.
In all of this, he’s not moved an inch from his position against the wall, no, he’s just standing there looking like he owns the fucking world, roughish with unhinged eyes that are looking at Adrian in a way that has me scared for his life. Now that I know who he is and what he does for a living, I can’t put it past him to do something as stupid as hurting him just to prove a point.
“Do you want me to stay?” Adrian asks, not backing down and I almost beg him to.
“No, it’s fine.” I hear myself whisper back.
And because he doesn’t look convinced, I add quietly, “He won’t hurt me.”
His dark eyes flick from me to Nikandr and back to me again, sizing up the situation. Reluctantly, he releases me finally but he doesn’t walk away immediately because then that would be very unlike him.
Leaning down instead, he kisses my forehead so gently it has me tearing up a bit because it’s the first time he’s done it and it feels unexpectedly so safe.
“My room is just next door, call me if you need anything.”
With one last look at Nikandr, he walks away, disappearing behind the doors of his room and shutting me out here with the new found bane of my existence.
I don’t say a word because I’ve not decided how best to address the fact that he’s really here and not some part of a nightmare I’m reliving, so I just open my door, walk into my room and leave him to follow if he pleases.
“What are you doing in New York? When did you even get here?” I query angrily as I hear his calculated footsteps behind mine, spinning on my feet to glare at him with venom, my emotions threatening to bubble out of my control.
“You were not answering your phone.” He shrugs nonchalantly, fishing in his pocket for a cigar.
Is this man for real right now?
“You flew all the way here just because I didn’t take your call?” I ask because I’m not sure I follow.
“Yeah.” He replies matter of fact like his actions are the most normal logical next step for being ignored.
“Jesus fucking Christ Nikandr, you can’t just do that. This is the same fucking thing you were threatening Brent for barely a week ago and you know what that makes you? A sick, fucking hypocrite that’s what.”
The corner of his lips lifts into a slight smirk that I would have missed if I wasn’t so attuned to him as my voice rises, his eyes getting more unhinged but in a less threatening way if that makes any sense.
“You’ve called me that before, Princess, I never promised I was above it.”
He takes a step towards me, invading my space and my senses against my will and I take two back, but not enough to be safe from him. Nothing I do will ever entirely save me from him and that’s the problem.
His scent fill my nostrils, a blend of masculinity, musk and cologne and I recognize it immediately because it’s the same one he wore most of the nights I slept curled up against him, in his arms, being home against him like the rest of the world didn’t exist.
The stupid memory brings an unwelcome sting to my eyes, tears blurring my vision and infuriating me beyond reason. He has no right to be toying with me like this, I’m tired.
“Please leave.”
“Candy......”
“Please.” Tears start to choke my voice embarrassingly, stripping me of my last shreds of dignity.
“You make me insane, Nikandr.” I say with resignation, throwing my hands up. “You make me stupid. Last week when you said you’d come back, I actually waited, like an idiot. Do you know how sick it makes me to know that I waited for you even though I hate you, even though I knew nothing can come of this stupidity, even after I humiliated myself and had you watch? And you couldn’t even bother to call.”
Without warning, he pulls me against him gently, holding me against his solid frame like something so fragile he fears it’ll break, my tear stained face pressed against his shirt.
The tears come faster as I let myself breathe him in, feel him, let myself fall into his arms like a fool.
“I thought I could stay away.” He breathes against my hair and I almost believe him.
“I figured if I stayed away long enough to end this but it was hell. I showed up to your apartment every night and watched until you turned off your light to keep from doing something as desperate as coming to your door and asking you to take me any way you’ll have me. I might have lasted maybe a day longer if I didn’t see you so happy in another man’s arms and realised it’ll be impossible to let go. I want you so bad hurts.”
My heart matches his in beats, the vibration of his voice sinking into my soul as I listen to the words falling from his lips, words that are making it impossible to keep my head while I fight to remember why I should be running from him.
Words that fade into nothing when I notice the blotches of red on his shirt.
Blood.