"It's still you. There's no way I will replace you with that pirate. Yes, he was one of the mages I hired to help me build the world because, as I told you, I want to make the creation faster to come home to you," I summarized.
"He likes you."
"... Yes, I know. But you and my twins dominate my thoughts, every time I possess Acro to be here, my patience with that world reduces, and goddess knows how much I miss you! I may have seen everything but that was all I could do. I can't fulfill my promise to redeem the silver wolves because I'm already suffering severely on my bite mark that I had to see you now and heal. Then... after all my sacrifices, you... and Hrista..."
Ferocious, I picked the soap and rubbed it on his lips and neck! I continued, "... You think I'm the only one who needs to take a bath here!? How could you make out with her!? How could you let her touch you as she pleases!? I saw it!"
"Stop that—" He locks my wrists in his clenches and wipes his lips with his sleeve.
"And you... I can't believe you could do that behind me."
"I wasn't planning to hide it from you anyway."
"That you have a relationship with Hrista—!?"
"I did that because I'm dying... I never wanted to but I have to live for Hedwelch and Danteleon."
"So you never wanted to buy her new dresses, spare a space for her here, and leave with her at night?"
"Yes!"
"But you did! Tell me, how did you meet? Why is she after you?"
"... When you left me in Asfara."
"And what you two did in the pishnies forest wasn't the first time? You should've known her purpose of appearing in your life again."
"Dan, do you expect me to cast her out in the middle of a storm? All I intended was to help her."
"Exactly! Do you expect me to ignore Afvshaganifs if he's working with me!? What you did caused Hrista to claim her space here and to claim you!" And technically, that will happen in the future if I don't return here.
"Didn't that pirate take advantage of you for the whole 5 years? Didn't he ever touch you?" He's turning back the hot seat to me. "Are you not guilty of meeting the demand of the bite mark with someone else?"
"..." Being an Eldar, I have many alibis to hide the truth from him but for some reason—probably that his honesty to me should be retaliated—I cannot fool him around, and my silence already told him his hunch. "I'm sorry..." was all I could say. Hearing his heavy sigh is like hearing him cry. He couldn't respond for a minute before he asks again,
"How many times?"
"... Twice."
"Dan, I... I understand why you did that." He tweaks his hair and walks around. "I don't know what to say... How many times will you betray me? Because I don't know how long I can remain stupid to forgive you... and you can't do the same."
His pain links to my chest. That speaks for him. What causes this severe sadness is the guilt we committed during each other's absences. I've been biting my lower lip and looking up yet the tears are still bothersome. "I'm really sorry. I think I'm... too much on you. Almost everything I did was for you but I still can't keep my knife off your back, and I'm full of thorns for you to keep holding—"
"What are you intending to say?"
"When will we be able to be fixed!?"
A strike of pain triggered in my bite mark and I couldn't help but press it with my hand! I noticed that our situation is the same, he's pressing his left arm. The thumb on my bite mark stimulates—breathing gets rough, the longer we stare at each other. Never had his eyes enthralled me before like this moment! I crave him... I want to feel him... and I know he's enticed to do the same as he initiates the steps closer to me, leans me on the wall, then my eyes close on their own.
But I didn't feel his lips! only his breath! I remain stiff in my position only to find out that he's halting his kiss, he's just sniffing me. He eventually withdraws but before disappointment falls upon me, I pull his nape and don't just smack him with a kiss but suck it. He's responding to my obsession, however, he withdraws from my affection—cutting that short moment we've been longing for already!
"Bathe yourself," he said and walked out of the bathroom. Too stunned by his coldness, I found myself staring at the wall like a hopeless lizard. How could he resist me!? Does he hate me that much? Another heaviness is stuck inside my chest. I rubbed my arms to calm the goosebumps which were the fruit of our kiss. I ended up talking to myself:
"What was I trying to say? No. There's no way I'm letting go of Hessuel, nor make further reasons for him to fall out of love."
I have to let go of the knife.
...
...
(Hessuel's POV)
I washed my face in the sink. That fishy scent is pushing me away. No matter how much I want more, it's turning me off as it declares Afvshaganifs's claim on her. I could almost break the sink with my frustrated claws just by that thought until I heard the splashes in the bathroom. I coincidentally found the kids playing with Dayana in the backyard.
I called them to come inside after a minute and confided in Dayana whilst we were sitting on the couch. Her reaction when I told her about my relationship with Dandeline was amusing because of how much she esteems Dandeline. My appearance doesn't bother her too much after some years of babysitting the two boys who resemble me.
After Dayana left, I approached Dandeline again and she stepped backward—covering her contusion when she realized I'd been glancing at it.
"Do you have any dresses there?" Her question stopped my motion.
"Upstairs."
"Hrista's?"
"Yours."
"Too?"
"... Those are unused. You can have whatever you want... to make my expenses worthwhile."
Gladly, she didn't argue about it and made her way to the wardrobe. As she passes by me, the scent of her identity pulls me to her until after a step I made. That's enough to make me head over heels for her. My heart raced even faster when I realized these kids on the table had been silently observing my behavior! I cleared my throat and took the seat in front of them.
"Hed, Leon, she's your mother. You will honor her the way you honor me."
"Will she stay here?" Danteleon asked, and I noticed his smile all this time.
"She will decide that."
"She better not," said Hedwelch, who's the opposite of Danteleon all this time. "She rather stays dead!"
"Don't say that."
"Right! Mom is not a bad guy!" Danteleon shouts at Hedwelch.
"She's friends with the bad guy!"
"But she's not a bad guy!"
"It's the same thing!"
"No! She treated me in the city! You're the bad guy. You punched mom with your toy!"
"She was trespassing!"
"Enough, Hed, Leon." I pacified. A battle of glares is taking place between them again. "You met your mother and you didn't tell me?" I leaned my back. "Seems like I'm the only one outdated..." I complained, then—without looking—I pulled the seat for Dandeline for her to occupy before she did it herself. Silence initiates the discussion at the table, and this is the first time the table became complete.
I keep silent to give her the spot but she's keeping her words too whilst playing her fingers on the table. "First of all, I'm... really sorry for not showing a connection with you. I always care about you from a distance because that is all I can do as we prepare the world of werewolves. Can I stay here every now and then?"
"Yes, mom," Danteleon warmly answered.
"Hedwelch, can I stay here?"
Hedwelch is avoiding her glance.
"Or you want me dead? If I'm dead, I can't tell you how wonderful that world is, or how I shall take you there."
"..."
"Don't you wanna hear the lives of werewolves?"
"No!"
I choked on my own for pulling back my laugh! Looking away is a must to avoid her sharp gaze! The exciting personality of Hedwelch is that he's just a kid but acts like an adult.
"How about I teach additional magics for your gauntlet? Will you let me stay then?"
"..."
She presents the tiny moon on the table on top of her palm. Everything except it turned dark which shines its beauty more evidently. I realized we were mesmerized until she closed it. "My stay will be equivalent to you learning unique enchantment."
"Hed said he wants you to stay~"
"Shut up!" He shouted at his twin.
"Then I'll take all my dogs here!"
"There are more dogs?" Danteleon's eyes sparkle.
"Ten in total but I have seven."
"We can play with them!?"
"Of course!"
She's slowly winning Hedwelch's attention and I can't ruin this moment. I left the table when I decided to prepare drinks for them. Their discussion reaches my ears here in the kitchen, and I love the sight of it, too. Although I can't tell her, she looks pretty with her short hair with the tucked wave on one side. I glanced at her ponytail on my wrist before I proceeded, but they cleared the dining space after my preparation.
I found myself being left behind from their bonding when I watched them having a picnic in the backyard with the dogs. Besides, it's Dandeline's first bonding with the kids so I gave her the chance, and mind my own business—my literal business. Seeing them together, their smiles, and how peaceful it feels points me to what I should protect; defines my responsibility, and will be an adequate fuel to keep me working hard.
That's when my fatherhood became exciting.
At night, I didn't miss my routine of sipping a hot drink whilst gazing at the moon's beauty. The only difference this time is without my coat on. They've been sleeping together on the couch when I came inside, the dogs are on the rug with Acro. I first carried the kids to their bed and covered them with the blanket. When it comes to Dandeline, I carefully slipped my arm under her before lifting her.
The mate bond can drive me crazy but not enough to relieve the weight of betrayal. We're in front of my swing bed when she suddenly speaks: "You know how to carry me like a lady, after all." I look at her without saying anything. She held onto my shoulder to lift herself and when she was attempting to kiss me, I dropped her on the bed. "Wha— Hessuel! You're still mad at me, no?"
"No." I lie down on the other side and close my eyes.
"Well, you are. You will not act like this if you're not."
"Go to sleep."
"..."
"..."
Tickling fingers are sliding on my arm up to my shoulder, neck, then ears. I clamp her hand and put it on my stomach, then I feel her moving closer—cuddling my arm. I might lose myself once I meet her eyes so I keep mine close.
"The twins are surprisingly intelligent. You've done good enough."
"..."
"And—"
"I'm sorry," I said. "I never wanted to mate with her... neither am I an avid participant of sexing. My past haunts me whenever I do or whenever they find pleasure in me... except you. Perhaps because you're my peace. I feel safe with you. The happiness when I share it with you is authentic and pure. None else can give that to me but your kisses... your touch... all from you. I'll ignore Hrista in every way if that will make you feel better."
"..."
I forgot my plan when I looked at her. She's been silently shedding tears on the pillow as our eyes link the unspoken words into me. "I will not touch any lady the way I touch you. I promise that it will never happen again." I tuck her hair first before I wipe her tears.
"I'm so sorry too. Yours is the only deoxyribonucleic acid I want to share with you."
"That's too clever."
"I promise."
I'm already captivated by her eyes. I kiss her on her forehead while she's rubbing her thumb on my cheek—keeping our voices low. "It's good to see you, touch you, feel you, and smell..." I sniff her hair. What matters is that she's here. I can't sleep with the burden of our argument in my chest, and nor let her sleep with an ill feeling.
"I miss you." She sinks her face into my chest and bites it. "Let's do it tonight."