Chapter 16 Lust vs Guilt

Chapter 16 Lust vs Guilt
I couldn't look at myself anymore,every mirror in the house felt like a judge. I'd pass one in the hallway and catch my reflection,same sharp jaw as Humphrey's, same shadowed eyes that hid too much.

The hypocrisy ate at me like rust on old metal. He'd abused the girls, left them pregnant with his sins, and I'd sat silent. Judged him in my head while I did the same damn thing with Ruby. Obsession versus self-loathing,lust winning every round, but guilt landing punches that left bruises.

Work was my escape, or tried to be,loading trucks at the warehouse, sweat soaking my shirt, arms burning from the lift and stack. But even there, my mind wandered, to her curves,her moans and the way her belly was rounding out now, skin tight and warm. The baby kicking,maybe mine.

The thought turned me on and made me sick in the same breath. I'd drop a box, curse under my breath, and the foreman would yell, "Wake up, Richy!" I'd nod, keep going. But inside, the battle raged. Lust saying go see her, feel her, forget the world. Guilt saying you're destroying everything, just like him.

Home wasn't better,Mom moved like a shadow. She'd cook dinner, set the table, but her eyes were distant,like she was seeing ghosts in every corner. Susan and Lilly came by less, their bellies growing, their glares sharper. Robbinson hovered too much, his charm feeling like oil now that I knew the truth. He'd sit with Mom, talk low, and I'd wonder if they were starting up again. The family was fracturing, alliances breaking like dry twigs, and I was the crack running through the middle.

Ruby's text came mid-afternoon. I was on break, sitting on a crate out back,and scrolling my phone like an idiot. Robbinson's out till 8.Use the back door . Come now? My thumb hovered over the screen, guilt screamed no. but obsession hit reply: On my way.

I clocked out early and lied about a headache. I drove the long way, checking mirrors for tails that weren't there,and parked seven blocks off. I walked the rest, hood up, hands in pockets. Paranoia had me glancing over my shoulder every ten steps. What if Mom drove by? What if the girls were watching? But the need burned hotter than the fear.

She opened the back door before I knocked,and stood there in a simple gray tank top stretched tight over her belly, and black yoga pants that hugged her hips. Hair loose, falling in waves,No makeup,Just her pregnant glow making her look like some kind of goddess. "Hey," she said. Voice low. Husky.

I stepped in,locked the door,kissed her hard,as I put hands on her waist, careful not to press too tight against the bump. She tasted like mint tea and that vanilla lip balm she loved,her fingers tangled in my hair, pulling me closer.

"Living room," she murmured against my lips.

We made it there,blinds drawn. Afternoon light filtering in soft gold strips. She pushed me onto the couch,and straddled my lap slowly, her belly brushing my stomach. I felt the warmth through my shirt. A tiny kick thumped against me.

"Feel that?" she whispered. Smile wickedly.

"Yeah." Obsession surged. This life inside her. Ours,maybe. I lifted her tank,kissed the curve. Skin smooth. Warm. Another kick,like the baby knew I was there.

She ground down,felt me hard through my jeans. "Take me."

Guilt flickered. This is wrong. Stop now. But her hands were already undoing my belt. Zipper down. Cock free. She stroked my cucumber slowly,firm grip.circling the head with her thumb.

I groaned,pushed the guilt down,lifted her hips. Slid her pants down one leg, no panties,wet and ready.

She sank onto me,slowly inch by inch. Tight heat enveloping,we both moaned,her head was back, breasts straining the tank.She rode gently at first, hips circling,sensual grind, cupping her ass. Guided. "Faster," she breathed.

I thrust up. I met her. She bounced. Belly moving with us. Breasts heaving.

I pulled the tank down,and sucked a nipple. It's a bit soft.

She cried out. "Yes….baby boyyy harder…."

Lust took over,my hands on her belly,feeling the life we made. Kicks timing with thrusts.

Guilt tried one last push.You're no better than Humphrey. Using her. Risking it all.I shoved it away. Focused on her face, eyes half-lidded,lips parted and Moans spilling.

She came first,and Clenched around me. Body shaking, with a quiet scream.I followed.spilled deep inside. Groan muffled in her neck.
We sat there,breathing heavily. Sweat slick.

She kissed my forehead. "I needed that."

"Me too." But guilt crept back,slow, persistent. What was I doing? Humphrey died from his sins.and here am I, alive, repeating them.

She felt it. "What's wrong?" "Just... thinking about everything. The girls. Humphrey. Us."

She tensed. "Don't." "I can't help it. It's the same shit." She rolled off me,fixed clothes. "It's not. We chose this."

"Did we?" Self-loathing boiled. "Or did I push? Like he did?"She stood. "Stop comparing. It's different."

I zipped up. "Is it? Blood, Secrets, Babies."

She touched her belly. "This one's loved."Guilt won that round. I left soon after. I walked home. Rain started again, with a light drizzle.

Mom was in the kitchen when I got back,chopping vegetables. Knife steady. "You're wet," she said. No hello.

"Walked." She nodded,and kept chopping. "You seem... off. Again."

"I'm fine." She set the knife down,looked at me, really looked.
"No. You're not. Something's wrong and I can definitely sense it."