Chapter 13 Funeral Shadows

Chapter 13 Funeral Shadows
The church smelled like old wood polish and lilies. Too many lilies. White ones mostly, stacked on the altar, spilling over the casket like they were trying to hide it. Humphrey lay inside, face waxy, mouth set in that same grim line he wore when he was pissed about the bills. Closed casket. Mom insisted. “He wouldn’t want people staring,” she said. I didn’t argue. I didn’t want to look at him either.

The pews filled slowly. Relatives I barely knew. Cousins from Mom’s side who flew in from Atlanta. An uncle who smelled like cigarettes and cheap aftershave. Everyone whispered the same lines: “He went quick.” “At least it was fast.” “He was a good man.” Lies stacked on top of lies. I sat in the front row with Mom. She wore a black simple dress,no jewelry.Her hands folded in her lap so tight the knuckles showed white.

Robbinson sat two rows back,Suit pressed,face composed. Every few minutes he’d glance at Mom. Comforting nod. She never looked back.

Ruby came in late. Black coat over a dark dress. Hair pinned up. Makeup perfect,grief makeup, the kind that looks effortless but took twenty minutes in the mirror. She slid into the pew behind me. Close enough I felt her knee brush the back of mine when she sat. No one noticed. Or if they did, they pretended not to.

The pastor started. Voice low and practiced. “Humphrey was a man of few words, but strong convictions…” I tuned it out and stared at the casket instead. I thought about the last thing he said to me. Sorry. For what? The girls? The years of gruff bullshit? The way he raised me knowing I wasn’t his? All of it, maybe.

Hymns. “Amazing Grace.” Everyone stood. Sang half-hearted. Mom’s voice cracked on the second verse. I didn’t sing,I just mouthed the words.

Then the eulogy. Mom went first. Short. “He worked hard,loved his family in his way.” She sat down fast. Eyes dry now. Like she’d cried herself empty.

Robbinson spoke next. Humphrey was my brother-in-law. A good friend. Tough exterior, heart of gold.” Bullshit. But delivered smoothly. People nodded.

Then Susan stood.

The church went quiet. She walked to the podium slowly. Black dress too short for a funeral. Heels clicking. Lilly followed. Same dress. Same heels. Matching like always.

Susan gripped the edges of the podium. I looked out at the crowd. Then at the casket.

“We’re not here to pretend,” she said. Voice steady. Too steady. “Grandpa,Humphrey,wasn’t a good man, definitely not to us.

Gasps rippled through the pews. Mom stiffened beside me.

Susan kept going. “He hurt us,for years. Touched us when we were too young to fight back. Made us feel dirty and made us feel like it was our fault.”

Lilly stepped forward. Took the mic. “We’re both pregnant. By him.”

The church froze.

Someone coughed. A baby cried in the back. Then silence. Thick. Suffocating.

Mom made a small sound,like something broke inside her chest.

Susan looked straight at the casket. “We didn’t want this.I didn’t ask for it. But here we are. Two more kids in this fucked-up family tree. Because of him.”

Lilly added, softer, “We’re keeping them,not because we forgive him. Because we’re done letting him win.

They stepped down. Walked back to their pew, Heads high,no tears,just cold fury.

I sat there numb. Horror crawling up my spine. Symmetry hit like a slap. Humphrey with the girls. Me with Ruby. Pregnancies, Secrets,Blood. Depravity running through the same veins. Same twisted hunger and same lies.

Ruby’s hand brushed my shoulder from behind. Quick. Hidden. I felt her trembling.

Mom stood suddenly,and walked out the side door. Fast, while Robbinson followed.

The pastor tried to recover. “We… we’ll continue with the closing hymn…”

No one sang.People filed out slowly. Murmurs everywhere. “Did you hear that?” “Poor girls.” “That can’t be true.” “Explains a lot.”

I stayed seated,stared at the casket. Humphrey’s secrets spilled open, Mine was still locked inside. But the mirror was too clear now. I was him. Worse maybe. At least he was dead.

Outside, rain started. Light at first. Then harder.

Mom stood under the awning. Robbinson beside her,arm around her shoulders,She leaned into him,and definitely not fighting it.

Susan and Lilly stood apart,under a tree,smoking. Sharing one cigarette with hard faces

I walked over.“You okay?” I asked. Stupid question.
Susan exhaled smoke. “No. But we’re breathing.”
Lilly looked at me. Eyes sharp. “You're gonna pretend you didn’t know?”
“I heard enough,” I admitted. “Should’ve done something.”
“Yeah,” Susan said. “You should’ve.”

Guilt landed heavy. I looked away.Ruby approached then,coat collar up against the rain. “Annie’s inside the car,and wants to leave.”

I nodded,and followed her.

Mom sat in the back seat of Robbinson’s SUV. Face blank. “I can’t go to the burial,” she said. “Not now.”

Robbinson started the engine. “I’ll take her home.”
I climbed in front. Ruby in the middle row. Silent ride. Rain hammering the roof.

At the house, Mom went straight upstairs,and shut the door.Robbinson lingered in the foyer. “She’ll need time.” I nodded. I didn't trust myself to speak.

He left.

Ruby stayed,we stood in the kitchen. Raining loudly against the windows,she touched my arm. “The symmetry…”

“I know,” I said. Voice rough.She stepped closer. “We’re not them.” “Aren’t we?”

She didn’t answer.

I pulled away,went to the living room,sat on the couch and stared at the rug where he died.Stain still there. Faded but permanent.

Ruby followed.and sat beside me. Close.

“The girls… they’re keeping the babies,” she whispered.

“I heard.” I replied

“Like us.”

I closed my eyes. “Don’t.”

She took my hand,placed it on her stomach,slightly swollen now and warm under the dress.

“This one’s different,” she said. “It’s us,not force.and not abuse.”But it was still wrong,still blood,still depravity dressed up as desire.

I pulled my hand back. “I need to think.”She stood. “I’ll go. Call me later.”

She left. clicked the door shut.I sat alone, the house was empty,as it rained endless.

Tensions boiled under my skin. The funeral shadows stretched long,Humphrey’s sins out. Mine is still hidden,but not for long.

The girls knew something,Mom suspected. Robbinson watched too close.

Everything is about to explode,and there I was right in the middle.