Chapter 76 — His Past

Emily's POV

Noah opened the door of his room and I stepped inside. Everything smelled like him.

Jackpot!

He closed the door behind and I turned around and smiled at him. Ever since I became Noah's girlfriend, it was the first time that he brought me to his room and to say that I was freaking out was the understatement of the year.

I mean, he was my boyfriend, I was his girlfriend; we were alone in a room, oh scratch that, alone in the freaking house. I was supposed to freak out, right? Right?

Noah chuckled beside me and wrapped his arms around me from behind, and I felt him smile against my hair.

"Why are you laughing?" I mumbled and tried not to sound too affected by our proximity.

Of course, I failed.

"You are overthinking again," he smiled and rested his head atop mine.

"N-no," I lied.

"I know when you lie, Cupcake," he shook his head in amusement and yet again I wanted to start crying like a five year old.

Noah wasn't good for me.

"When will you stop teasing me?" I groaned and nuzzled in his chest, feeling his not-so steady heartbeat against my ear.

"How about never?" he scratched his chin in a thoughtful manner and I smacked his arm and pulled away from him.

"Lunatic," I muttered and he chuckled in amusement.

My eyes roamed around his room and yet again my not so calm thoughts came rushing back to me and my mind filled with all the possible scenarios that could happen today.

Bad thoughts out. NOW!

I fidgeted with my fingers and bit my lips. I didn't even know why I was freaking out this much. I mean I had slept in this room before for God's sake. There was no reason to be anxious. Surely we would cuddle some more and that it would be it.

Right?

As I was about to turn around and look at Noah who wasn't speaking anymore , I was pinned against the wall with my hands locked above my head.

Oops.

Noah's brown eyes had turned dark shade and he was looking at me under his lashes with an expression that made my insides churn.

"Do I make you nervous?" he asked in a husky voice that made me want to fall to my knees.

"O-obviously," my voice barely more than a whisper. Was I supposed to tell him that? I guess I wasn't. Damn you, Noah.

A satisfied smirk made its way on his face and brought his head down to my level making my breath hitch in my throat. He started placing a series of kisses from my jawline down to my collarbone. I brought his lips up to mine and kissed him. Fireworks exploded in my stomach and it seemed as if the zoo inside my stomach had broken lose.

He kissed me with the same intensity, and God, God how I wanted to jump at him right now. He brought his hands down to my thighs and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I didn't know when or how he carried me to his bed but all I knew right now was that I was laying down on Noah Black's bed and he was right on top of me with his hands digging into my thighs and his tongue dancing with mine and boy did it feel good.

My hands found their way inside his shirt and I explored his well-defined muscles and abs. I ran my hands up and down his back and I could've sworn I felt him shiver. He left my mouth to let me breathe and brought his lips to my neck , kissing and sucking like never before. He bit my earlobe and I gritted my teeth together to keep myself from making any embarrassing sounds.

My eyes rolled to the back of my head as Noah's hand reached inside my shirt. He pressed his lips to mine again as his hands roamed all over my body.

"You're driving me crazy," he mumbled against my lips.

Tell me about it.

I brought my hands down to his lower back and he moaned inside my mouth making my heart beat like crazy again. I slowly rubbed circles on his l—

"Oh... SHIT!"

Both Noah's and my head snapped up to the door which was now half open with William standing there with a hand on his eyes. Both of us froze at our spot as he slammed the door shut. I gulped down the bile in my throat. My hands were still inside Noah's shirt and he was still hovering above me with his face centimeters away from mine. Both of us were staring at the door and swallowing hard.

The door opened again and William popped his head inside with a grin on his face.

"I'll just pretend I didn't see that," he grinned and walked away with the door still half open.

Neither Noah nor I had moved an inch and both of us were still staring at the door frozen at our spots.

"I'm going outside, Noah. And, yeah, don't forget to use protection," he yelled from downstairs, and then we heard the the main door close.

I brought my eyes back to Noah who was still as motionless as me with sweat rolling down his forehead. He gently got off me and sat down on the bed and I quickly fixed my shirt and sat up straight.

We both looked at each other for a few moments before both of us burst out laughing. We laughed so hard that for a second I thought my lungs had stopped working. Noah fell off of the bed and I rested my head against the headboard, clutching my stomach. Both of us were laughing like crazy and we didn't even know why.

Both of us recovered after a while and I looked at Noah with tears in my eyes. I rubbed my eyes and he lightly shook his head, a smile playing on his lips.

"Sorry he doesn't have a habit to knock," Noah said.

"It's alright," I smiled.

We fell into a round of comfortable silence in which Noah's hand had somehow find mine and he was rubbing circles on it with his thumb, resting it right above his heart with his eyes closed and lips curled up in a smile.

He looked so peaceful.

"Noah"?

"Hm?"

"When did you fall in love with me?" the question rolled off my tongue before I had a chance to register what I was doing.

Noah's eyes snapped open at it and looked at me and sighed.

"Look, this is gonna sound creepy and maybe stalker-ish, but I fell in love with you the first time I saw you," he said and my heart leaped out of its chest.

"Really?"

"Yeah. The first time I saw those red puffy eyes of yours damn I was a goner," his body vibrated in a light chuckle and my soul filled with love and warmth.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

"Because I was afraid," he whispered, a sad smile on his lips.

"Afraid?"

"Yes, afraid that I might lose what you and I had with my imbecility. Plus I wanted to take things slow but then Aaron happened and I never had a chance to," he brushed his hand on my cheek and I felt guilt settling in the pit of my stomach.

"I'm sorry, Noah," I whispered and closed my eyes, leaning into his touch.

"Don't be. It's not your fault," he said and brought me to his lap.

We sat in silence for a few more minutes before Noah broke it, "You know I didn't click your nudes that day." He so casually said and I choked on my saliva, coughing and staring at him wide-eyed with my jaw on the floor.

"OH, MY GOD! You really did have to bring that up now, didn't you?" I playfully hit his chest and his body vibrated against mine in a soft chuckle.

"Can't help it. I would kill to see you blush like this," he caressed my cheek and chuckled lightly and surprisingly I found myself smiling along.

I rested my head down again and snuggled in his chest. Thousands of thoughts and questions were playing through my mind yet none of them reached my tongue.

"Can I ask you something?" I said in a low voice.

"Anything," Noah whispered against my hair and pressed his lips to my temple in a soft kiss.

"Were you in a relationship with Nichole?"

"Who's Ni— oh yeah right, that redhead. No, Cupcake trust me I don't even know who she is except for that she has physics with me and she's a total bitch?" Noah's statement came out more like a question and I rolled my eyes.

"But—

"That was a mistake," Noah answered my question before I had a chance to get it out of my mouth.

"Oh."

"See Cupcake, I know I'm gonna reach a whole new level of creepiness when I tell you this but you have to believe me on this one," Noah sighed.

"Okay?" I said, not sure how to respond.

"The day I saw you I fell in love, I know I've told you already but why not once more. I basically craved to touch of you, heck I died to even have a look at you, but you wouldn't let me touch you, kiss you so I grew frustrated. I know this doesn't justify my actions but that day when Nat— Nichole threw herself on me, I decided to pretend, just for a moment, that it was you. But boy was I wrong. Trust me Cupcake I regret even letting her inside my house with every fiber of my being. If I could go back in time and change it I would, but I'm sorry, I can't," he whispered the last part sadly and I placed my hand on his cheek.

"It's fine," I reassuringly gave his hand a squeeze and he smiled.

"You know I was more hurt than you after I did that. Dad didn't talk to me for weeks," he closed his eyes and rested his head on the headboard, his expressions that of pain.

"Why was William angry at you ? I mean we weren't a thing at that time so why..." I trailed off and Noah smiled sadly.

"You never asked about my mother," Noah rubbed circles on my cheek with his thumb and I frowned, not getting his point.

"I thought it was something personal you didn't want to share just yet," I shrugged.

"Cupcake when I was young, when I was a kid my father used to go to different states every month for business purposes. My mother....my mother," his voice broke like he was in pain.

"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to do this," I gave his hand a squeeze and he opened his eyes and shook his head.

"I want to," he said and I nodded.

"My father has a brother, whenever dad would go out for business trips my mother would call his brother and they would....she—she cheated on him," a tear slid down Noah's cheek and my heart clenched in my chest.

"He loved her so much. So fucking much yet she betrayed him. She betrayed the man who could've died just for her smile. It broke him, beyond repair. After that he was never the same man he used to be, even unto his name. He acts all happy and jolly but I know it hurts him. I know he wakes up in the middle of the nights and cries, cries that he wasn't enough, that he couldn't give her what she wanted. He blames himself. Even after fourteen years he's still not over it. She broke him, she broke my dad, she broke a three year old's hero," pools of tear came rolling down Noah's cheeks and I hugged him to my chest, stroking his hair and silently biting back my sobs.

He seemed so fragile, so pained that I wasn't even sure I was talking to the same Noah who acted all careless and reckless in front of everyone. I hugged him closer to me and he cried in my neck.

"It's going to be okay," I whispered and made him look at me.

He nodded and brushed the tears away from his face and closed his eyes , resting his head back on the headboard.

"That was why he was disappointed in me. He knew that I loved you from the very start and when he got to know that I kissed someone else, he was taken back to where he was fourteen years ago. This time by his own son," Noah whispered the last part so low that I wasn't sure I heard it right or not.

"Forgive me. Please," his voice was so strained and pained that my stomach churned inside and I placed my hands on either sides of his face.

"I already did," I brushed his tears away and he closed his eyes again as I leaned up and pressed my lips to his.